"My husband cannot satisfy me."
My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The
Marriage Foundation
and I would like to help you see
things a little differently because we
live in a world now
where sexuality and
the idea of being sexually satisfied
is so strong and the idea of
not being sexually satisfied is promoted
by some
as a reason to seek another partner.
If all you're married for
was to be sexually satisfied
then yeah, that makes total sense,
but why did you get married? Didn't you
get married
in order to be happier every day?
Wasn't that sort of the
unspoken
promise? And this is
more important to experience
unconditional love
in your little tiny world called your
marriage
which for the two of you is your whole
world.
We live in these worlds
where we go around, we go to a bookstore,
we go to the coffee shop, we go
to do things -- that's not our world.
Those are little distractions that
keep us from thinking deeply quite
frankly,
and keep us from experiencing
love. It's a very interesting thing
and I'm not a Hindu but the entire
Hindu religion is based in
in their bible called the Bhagavad-Gita.
It's based on the battle between the
soul and the mind.
The soul is all love. This pertains to
your marriage.
Your soul is all love and when you get
married to your soul mate, you're doing
it so you could experience that
love because you can't experience it out
in the world.
You might feel glad that you bumped into
someone at the coffee shop or that you
chatted with your girlfriends and it
gives you
some satisfaction.
But the world has been trying to
convince us
that we have to have sexual satisfaction
in order to be happy, and that means
having an
orgasm and being sexually satisfied
that's what the world is telling us.
The world never tells us
to find ourselves to go deep
into our heart and experience ourselves
as love. It never tells us that
and yet that is more of a truth
than the other. It's just that we're not
exposed to it.
Ironically, if you
utilize your marriage to achieve what
it's promised to provide which is
happiness
and love, and if you learn how to do that
then sexual satisfaction will soon
follow but you cannot gain
sexual satisfaction in order to gain
love.
Sexual satisfaction will not bring you
love
but love will bring you sexual
satisfaction.
Those are simple equations that are
accurately true.
What I just expressed to you cannot be
disputed
by anyone. I'll repeat it.
Sexual satisfaction will not bring you
love
but love will bring you sexual
satisfaction.
It will. So what you really should be
thinking about
is this, "How can I improve our marriage?"
"What can I do as an individual
that will bring that love out, that will
allow us to blossom
in the area that's most important?"
You can live without sex entirely. You
can't live without love
because you are a soul essentially and
the soul demands
love just like the body demands
protection.
The soul demands love. Stop reading those
magazines that talk about
15-second orgasms and
multiple this and how to do that.
Let that stuff go.
I'll even suggest that if that's what
you're looking at
it's because you're not experiencing
that love in your marriage
but that's something you can do
something about
and should because that will give you
without drama, what you're really looking
for.
I hope this was helpful. Definitely
subscribe to this channel so you could
start getting a feel for how I
see things. We've helped so many
thousands of people
improve their marriage to the point of
where they're ecstatically happy
which is what you're supposed to be when
you're married.
So watch the videos,
leave a like, leave a comment if you'd
like, a question.
You could write into one of our
counselors -- it's a free service that we
have
but this whole thing about sexuality is
a
slippery slope into misery
that I promise you. And I've worked with
many couples where this has been the
case.
Blessings to you and your husband and
your family,
and I hope you take my advice and take a
look
at how you can generate that love
which will generate happiness
which will change your life.
All right. God bless! Thank you!