Hey there, this is Clay with ModernLove.life.
This is going to be a little bit of an unusual video.
This is going to be on how to get your ex to meet up with you.
And at the end of this video, I'm going to be telling you about how we're going to be
doing a online workshop, where I help you craft messages to send to your ex to communicate
with them, to get the two of you talking, to get the two of you having good interactions.
So, if you want to take that towards meeting up in person, you can do that.
I'll give you more details about that towards the end of this video, if that's something
that you're interested in.
But I was actually originally going to do this video as a live stream, but I just wanted
to get this out quickly because my inbox is really flooded as you'll find out why in a
little bit.
And I'd really need to get to as many of those emails as possible before the end of the day
today, so I can go on my weekend without going insane and worrying about what my inbox is
looking like.
But anyway, we're going to talk about how to get your ex to meet up with you.
So if you're wondering how to get your ex to meet up with you, you're probably past
that stage of getting your ex to talk to you, right?
You're in communication with them and now you're wondering, okay, how can I get from
communication that's maybe sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes a little bit shaky,
sometimes it's okay, sometimes it's great, sometimes it's terrible, or whatever, to the
point where the two of you can actually meet up, spend some time in person and all of that.
And so, what we want to look at is a couple common mistakes that people make at this point.
The first is that people are often relationship focused when interacting with their ex.
That is to say that they are trying to interact with their ex, text their ex, communicate
with their ex, all of these sorts of things, with the intention of getting into a relationship
with them.
And I get it.
I've been on YouTube since 2011 I think, and I've helped people with relationships since
2009, I've been around for a long time.
I get that you want to be in a relationship with your ex, but you have to understand that
if your ex believes that you want to get into a relationship with them above actually hearing
them, understanding them, connecting with them, and all of these sorts of things, then
it's going to cause them to pull away.
It's going to cause them to think that the two of you want different things.
It's going to cause them to think that the two of you are on different wavelengths.
And it's going to cause them to be hesitant about interacting with you, about opening
up with you, or about meeting up with you.
So you don't want to be relationship focused, what you want to be is connection focused.
And I know that if you think about this, this is kind of a little bit of a mind shift for
a lot of people, but if you think about it, you don't want to be in a relationship with
your ex just for the sake of being in a relationship, right?
You don't just want to be able to tick the box and say, okay great, I'm in a relationship
now.
You probably want to be in a relationship because you think it's going to give you something.
You think it's going to give you some sort of connection, some sort of closeness, some
sort of bonding, some sort of whatever.
Maybe you want to feel that bond that people feel when they settle down and start a family
together, or when they travel the world together, or when they spend those quiet moments of
life together, whether that's coffee in the morning on Sundays, or glasses of wine in
the evening, or whatever it might be.
That's probably what you want.
And just know that going for the relationship is not necessarily going to give you the connection
that you're looking for.
There are a lot of people who are in relationships who just don't have any kind of connection.
They're just putting up with one another.
Maybe you know some people like that.
And that's not what I want for you.
So let's not aim for the relationship hoping that it gives us the connection.
What we want to do instead of being relationship focused, is we want to be connection focused,
we want to focus on aiming for the connection, knowing that if there is going to be a relationship,
it's going to naturally and organically evolve out of having a strong connection.
And so what you want to do is you want to focus on all those things that you want, the
closeness, the emotional bonding, and all of that stuff, and let go of the idea of trying
to force the relationship to happen.
If you think about it, this is probably how things happened when you and your ex first
got together, when you first started dating.
You probably weren't scheming on your first date, how can I get this person to commit
to me, to marry me, to do whatever.
You were probably just like, okay, here's an attractive person, that's great, but do
we have anything in common?
Do we have any shared values?
Do I like them?
Do we have personalities that are compatible with one another?
All of these sorts of things.
And as you started to discover each other, you started to connect with one another, and
as you started to connect with one another, you started to feel closer to one another
and as you started to feel closer to one another, you started to see a future with one another.
That's probably how it happened.
And that's probably what your past looked like, hopefully.
And when you get back together with your ex, when you move towards just simply communicating
with them, and move towards actually getting to the point where they want to meet up with
you, that is what you need to keep in mind.
That's what you have to focus on.
So, there are a couple of different ways that this can look and can unfold.
Obviously you want to start by messaging your ex, most likely through text messaging, it's
how people do it these days.
If you're old fashioned, you call someone on the phone or whatever, that's totally fine,
go ahead and do that.
But most people text message these days.
Now there's a time and place for text messaging, I wouldn't recommend that you do all of your
communications through text messaging, but most people are probably going to want to
start with text messaging, and you want to keep the conversation and communication light
at first.
And then once you calibrate to where your ex is at emotionally, that's when you can
deepen it down to a deeper emotional level.
And then of course there comes a point in time where you outgrow texting as a container
for communicating, and you need to graduate up to something else, like a phone call, a
video call, or a meetup in person.
And that would be a great segue to getting together in person.
You may go from texting directly to meeting up, you may need to have some sort of intermediate
step, like talking on the phone or something like that, so that you can deepen that emotional
connection a little bit more.
But that is more or less what it's going to look like.
And as you are communicating with your ex, you're constantly moving to deeper and deeper
and deeper levels of communication.
And as this happens, it becomes more and more and more obvious why the two of you would
want to meet up in person.
You're going to want to meet up in person.
It's going to seem self-evident because interacting with each other feels good.
It's going to seem like the next logical thing to do.
So that's what it looks like.
That's the rough roadmap for how it looks to get your ex to meet up with you.
I want to also talk to you a little bit about a online workshop that I'd like to be doing
with you, potentially, over the next, over in March, early March, 2020.
You never know when people are going to stumble across this video.
But this is what it's going to look like.
This is how it works.
This is the details on that if you're interested.
So it's going to be called the communication clinic.
What we're going to be doing is we're going to be working with people to help them to
get from this point where they're contacting their ex towards having a great positive interaction.
And I want to work with people who are having a hard time communicating with their ex, to
help them to have a positive interaction that eventually could lead towards meeting up in
person, which could lead towards multiple meetups, which could ultimately lead towards
getting back together.
And we're going to be doing this in early March.
Let me just bring up my calendar really quick so I can double check the dates for you, but
we're going to be doing this on March 10th, which is Tuesday.
It's going to be a three day workshop.
We're going to be doing this on March 10th, which is Tuesday, March 12th, which is a Thursday,
and March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, which is also a Tuesday.
Also happens to be my grandmother's birthday, my late grandmother's birthday, passed away
three years ago.
But anyway, we're going to be doing it on those three days.
It's not going to be an all day thing.
It's probably going to be two to three hours.
That's what I'm hoping for.
We'll go as long as we need to within reason, but it's going to be about two to three hours
each day.
I don't know about the times just yet.
I'll give you more information on that once they become available, but my intention is
to have these sessions, we're going to be doing a little bit of teaching, a little bit
of instruction, and then we'll also be looking at people's messages that they're sending
to their ex, or planning to send to their ex, things that they want to say, things that
maybe they're ex is saying back to them, looking at how to deepen the emotional connection,
looking at how to actually have a positive interaction, how to navigate their ex's hesitation,
all that stuff.
So if you're interested in that, there's a couple things I want to put into place, first
and foremost.
Number one, this is not for you if you're not in contact with your ex right now.
If your ex has blocked you, if your ex is not willing to talk to you, if your ex is
not willing to communicate with you, this is not for you.
There are other things that we have, other ways that we can help you, definitely other
videos on this channel that has over 600 videos right now, but this is only for people who
are in communication with their ex.
The reason for that is because I want to give people a result during this workshop.
I want to give people results during this workshop, and I cannot guarantee that you
can get results during this workshop if your ex has blocked you, if your ex is not communicating
to you, and all that stuff.
There are ways that you can get your ex to talk to you, but I want to play this safe
here.
Another thing, I want to really get to know your situation first, to make sure that we
can help you.
So if you're interested in this, there's a link in the description for this video.
I will also pin a comment in the comment section.
Just so you know, the enrollment for this workshop is $500 U.S., so if that fits your
budget, then this might be worth it for you.
If it doesn't fit your budget, then there's other things out there for you, but this is
probably not the right thing for you.
So anyway, that is what's going on.
If you want to participate in this, if you're interested, please go ahead and fill out the
form that I've linked to in the description of this video, and I've pinned a comment to
in this video, and we can go ahead and start a conversation to see if we can help you to
have a positive interaction with your ex, and to see if maybe this communication clinic
might be a good fit for you.
Just know that I'm recording this and I'm posting this on a Friday.
We have been getting a lot of emails over the past couple of weeks.
Also, specifically emails about this communication clinic.
I've sent information to my email newsletter about this so they already know.
So we've been getting a lot of emails.
Our email inbox is kind of backed up.
And because it is Friday, we are a small company, we do take weekends off.
So if you submit an application, if you fill out the form or something like that on Saturday,
Sunday, whatever, just know that you're probably not going to hear back from us until Monday
at the soonest.
We are backed up.
It might take us a little bit longer, but I'm going to do my best to get through as
many emails as possible before the end of the day today, so that I can start my weekend
with a calm peace of mind, instead of freaking out knowing that I have 50 or a hundred emails
in my inbox.
Anyway, if this is something you're interested in, you might want to check out that link
down below.
But anyway, take care.
Hope you have a great weekend, and if this sounds like something you might be interested
in, hey, fill out that form.