How many of you are on Tinder?
>> [LAUGH]
>> You were so proud until no one else raised their hand.
You were like, yeah, no.
All right. So I think people were just
bashful because they're married.
I don't know.
I saw an article that could help you in your search for a deep, meaningful hookup.
They released a list of jobs that get the most right swipes.
They surveyed both men and women.
And here's the list right here.
The number 1 job is Pilot.
That's what they like.
Which makes because they're great communicators.
They'll let you know when they're coming in for a landing.
>> [LAUGH]
[APPLAUSE]
>> [APPLAUSE] >> And this is interesting for
both men and women, Founder/Entrepreneur is number 2, very highly ranked.
I don't know if you know this,
entrepreneur is a French word for unemployed.
>> [LAUGH] >> Here's a tip.
Before you go out with one of these people, ask them what they founded.
Because otherwise you're gonna founded out they sell candy out of their-
>> [LAUGH]
>> Parents' basement or something.
Another job that made the list, college student which, college student.
There it is, number 6 for women.
It's good until you find out he's 62, and then-
>> [LAUGH]
>> How is college student a job?
It is the only job where your salary is negative $30,000 a year.
>> [LAUGH] >> It seems like men are looking for
women who are gonna take care of them, there's nurses, and there's doctors, and
there's dental hygienists.
Number 16 was picker upper of socks.
>> [LAUGH] >> I'm glad TV personality is ranked high
because there's a TV personality on my show who is single,
it's our production assistant, Ari.
Everybody knows Ari, and-
>> [APPLAUSE] >> He sells stuff in the Ellen shop.
So technically, he's an entrepreneur.
>> [LAUGH] >> And
we are still trying to find him a date.
He's single.
So, if there is anybody out there and you're interested please let me know.
In the meantime, I am very happy that I have someone.
Good luck, everybody.
It seems like a nightmare out there.
So whoever has somebody, let's just dance and celebrate it.