My pal Andy Signore from the channel Popcorned Planet spotted this Jada Pinkett Smith video
from 2019 and boy, it has aged just like a banana put inside a wet shoe, left in the
sun.
Jada: So, Will… you know Esther Perel is coming to the table, she’s gonna be in the
Red Table.
Would you say she’s been instrumental in you and I redefining our relationship?
Will: I would say don’t you start filming me… without asking me.
If you could film me.
Jada: Oh, my goodness…
Will: If you could film me
Jada: Esther, come help us again, please…
I’m still dealing with foolishness
Will: Don’t…
no no, she…
don’t
Jada: Would you say that she helped us heal the hurts that we caused on one another?
Will: My social media presence is my bread and butter.
Ok?
So you can’t just use me for social media, and that… you know, don’t just start rolling
and…
I’m just standing on my… don’t just start rolling.
Jada: Please watch Esther at the Red Table because she’s helped us a lot, can’t you
tell?
You're about to find out all the ways this is cringe beyond comprehension, and how is
it possible that this has gone that far.
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I will be really thankful for that.
It was a "blink and you'll miss it" detail, but in the very first second, Will displayed
a microexpression of sadness.
He's got those weary eyes and at the same time his eyebrows are pointing a bit upward.
It's like he's trying to control the emotion, and all of a sudden he let it slip.
This is one of the signals that tells us that he did not expect to be being filmed at that
moment.
And this is realy a set up, because Jada asks, point blank, a personal question.
In this case, about 'redefining their relationship'.
I guess that the word 'redefining' had to do with August 'anaconda' Alsina.
Will immediately uses his right hand for a pacifying gesture, touching his mouth, his
cheeks and covering his chin.
It's important to notice that it is the arm that is in Jada's direction, so he's using
his elbow as some kind of shield.
He feels attacked but he's trying to be discreet.
Notice that when he says, "I would say don't you start filming me", he is literally covering
his mouth.
It's like he doesn't want to say it, but he just can't stand it.
And that's another clue in his facial expressions, because he really tries to smile just before
looking away.
And his expression at that moment revealed that he was not in the mood for that kind
of question.
Much less to be filmed without notice.
Now, we cannot see Jada at this moment, but it's obvious that she knows about his emotional
state.
She's just ignoring it.
That is a classic narcissistic set up, when they try to ambush you in a way that you feel
vulnerable and most probably you will end up reacting in the wrong way.
And yes, they could be filming you, just to replay your odd reaction to yourself over
and over again.
Like, "Remember when I asked you a simple question and you just lost your mind?
no?
well, that's not a problem, because I have the proof right here.
See?
you acting all unhinged for a simple question?"
And yes, they are gonna show that recording to other people to make them think you're
the crazy one.
And that is the reason we are watching this, because Jada not only recorded Will, but also
shared the clip to her Twitter account.
But wait!
there is more.
Jada invokes the power of the woman that allegedly helped them with their relationship, and emphasizes
"I'm still dealing with foolishness".
She's explicitly saying that Will is acting like a fool for not wanting to be recorded
on the spot while answering a personal question.
Who could have known?
And Will really doesn't know how to process the situation, because when Jada turns the
camera back at him, you can see that he's touching his right arm with his left hand,
effectively forming a shield over his chest, with a pacifying gesture.
You can do it as a body language exercise.
Stand and grab your arm at the same time.
You're gonna feel like you're defending yourself from something.
There's no wonder that Will didn't even know what to say at that moment and he was just
stuttering.
But it was not enough for Jada.
And this is a pattern that you really need to remember.
The narcissist is going to insist until they get what they are looking for.
Either a strong reaction, or you being humiliated, or, ideally, both.
And yes, Jada asks the question a second time.
She is not paying attention at all at Will's requests.
Right as she repeats the question, Will turns his head down, in a gesture like "I can't
believe she's acting like this".
He politely said that all she had to do is tell him when she was going to film him.
And not only she ignores it.
She calls that: foolishness, and just keeps on recording and asks the question again.
That is another narcissistic tactic where the narc devalues or denies your emotions.
Like, what is wrong with you?
you cannot be upset!
Don't act like that!
or, in cases like this, they say nothing and just keep pushing.
But essentially, they act like your feelings just don't count.
And that's how they progressively make you retreat into a shell, because every time you
try to express emotions, if they are not in sync what the narc wants, then the narc is
going to dismiss them.
So, progressively, you learn to not express those emotions and just go with what the narc
wants.
After all, it would be much less energy spent.
But what is really happening is that you're neutralizing your emotional self.
You're letting the narc dictate what you are allowed to feel.
It's really hard to spot, but at that precise instant Will presses his lips and scrunches
his nose, just a bit.
That is concealed anger.
That is the kind of emotional supression that the narcissist wants.
The narcissist drives the person to the edge, so they end up exploding in some spectacular
way.
Yeah.
Chris Rock knows.
But Will decides to make a stand for himself.
And he states, plain and simple, that his social media presence is his bread and butter.
The image that he's crafted for so many years is really important for him.
So it must be really upsetting that even if Jada knows that, she still acts like this,
looking for unwanted reactions, just for some added clout on her own social media channels.
I mean, this is not healthy at all.
I said in my Oscar Slap video that they are grown ups and they have the right to live
their lives in any way they like.
But these patterns of behavior are highly toxic and dangerous.
It's no wonder that Will was admitted to a rehab clinic after what happened at the Academy
Awards.
This video is just a public sample.
But how much, and for how long, has been happening in private?
This is something that we can never know about any couple, so we have to keep our eyes open
when we see this kind of signals.
Not to mention the grand finale.
Jada turns the camera to herself, and just stares into it until Will stops speaking.
Again, not caring about his words a single bit.
She then closes her pitch for her Red Table Talk episode, turning around so the camera
AGAIN points not just at her, but at Will too.
There is a deeper problem here, and this is regardless if the victim is a man or a woman.
And I'm gonna talk about you, just in case you're in a similar situation.
It could be in your family, or your partner, or at work.
You might think that if this toxicity affects you, is because you're not strong enough.
You have this distorted idea that if you were really strong, they would not be able to hurt
you.
But that is wrong.
They will break you.
And there is no way to fix them.
So, if you're in a situation like this, you have to: one, seek help.
and two, plan how to get away from them as soon as possible.
Never think that you can grow stronger than the narc or learn to withstand their abuse.
It will never be worth it.
I hope this kind of videos help you reflect about your situation and recognize if you're
dealing with a malignant narcissist.
I'd be glad to read your opinion in the comments.
If you want to refine your observation skills, all you have to do is download my 100+ body
language tips, right in the description of this video.
My name is Jesús Enrique Rosas and it will always be a pleasure, my body language buddies!
Much Love, and Bliss.