Well, the title of the track, “Not Above Love,”
is really a slight hint towards the fact that this wasn't love.
So, the fact that I was letting it go doesn't mean that I'm above love.
I think love is amazing and important and wonderful when it's real.
I was in the studio with Rock Mafia and I was just talking about a situation
that I was going through.
I think the most physical, poignant moment was lying in my bed
after the person that the song was about had left.
And I couldn't move.
For hours.
I was always like...You know in 'Get Out'?
The Sunken Place?
I think when something like that happens it seems really insane.
You're like, “What is wrong with me?
Am I sick?
Am I crazy?”
So it was really intriguing for me to look at what caused such a strange reaction.
So yeah, that's the source point of this song.
I tend to be quite protective, especially at the beginning.
Growing up I lost connection with a lot of people that I really held dear to me.
So, you develop protective armor.
That's how we become adults.
Grumpy adults, you know.
When you go into a card game, if you think you know cards you're going in there like,
"I know this game."
And obviously that's what happens at the casino, when you get wheeled out crying and hysterical.
So it's kind of exactly like love.
If somebody really isn't going to give you what they say they're gonna give you,
you can end up giving all of yourself into something.
Sometimes people are not even really living their full lives, so they can't fully give themselves to you, anyway.
There was an opinion that I'm just not the sort of person that can love anyone,
because love is some kind of something I look down on for mere mortals.
And I'm saying that's not why I had to go away from this situation.
It's because I was drowning and suffocating from the whole experience of it
that I had literally run out of air.
I'm a big believer in this quite controversial idea that we can't really hurt each other.
That we, most of the time, hurt ourselves on other people.
Even with lies, all you have to do is ask.
And then look someone dead in the eye and watch them lie to you.
And you know they're lying.
People who lie often are good at it, but most of the time they're pretty bad.
There is something so appealing about the devastation of being in the throws
of some kind of messy love scenario
and I have to say I did want those feelings because the rest of the world was dull.
I don't know why I consider myself some kind of rational, mature human being
because someone will come along and totally throw you off your game.
That's what happened with me and I was intoxicated.
I definitely overdosed on this person and couldn't resist.
It's still back to that moment where it's like, “I'm too close to madness right now.”
If I'm looking at myself from an outside perspective, I'd be like, “Girl, he is not that exciting.”
Like, I had friends who are just like, "He is so boring."