These people clearly don't know what ten percent means.
What are you talking about?
This is the list of all the people who belong
to the church and how much money they donate.
Dorothy and Fred Nelson gave a dollar last week.
So? They own the Piggly Wiggly.
They can afford to give much more.
Weird.
You say "Piggly Wiggly" and suddenly I'm hungry.
Really?
You're drinking in the morning now?
What? Oh, look at that.
Felt later.
Hey, I haven't seen the pastor. He go home?
He hasn't come out of Georgie's room.
Maybe he found Georgie's magazines.
He's a man of God.
You're adorable.
(indistinct chatter)
I have stories. Come back here.
It's my favorite table. Oh, hey, Connie.
Hi, Felicia.
Chip me for a deuce.
How's your daughter doing?
Oh, surgery went great.
Thanks for asking.
Her daughter got kicked by a horse.
They had to pin a couple of bones together. Oh, my.
She won't be stealing any more horses
for a little while. (laughs)
Your usual, Connie? Yeah.
John, you want something?
I would like a Fresca, please.
Got it, hon. MAN: Connie.
Duke-North Carolina's about to start. Want a piece?
Yeah, baby. Give me the points on Duke for a nickel.
All right. (laughing): A nickel.
That's a silly bet.
It's 50 bucks.
A thousand nickels. Less silly.
I must say, uh...
this is a side of you I've never... seen before.
You're all right with it, aren't you?
Oh, sure.
When are you gonna give that man your $50?
Don't worry about it. Hit me.
I'm a little worried.
(coins jangling, people cheer)
Pastor Jeff?
Everything all right in there?
Oh, yeah.
I've just been praying, napping, crying.
I like to mix it up.
Well, how's it going?
Good, actually.
I have this feeling inside that I should head home.
Well, then you got to honor that feeling, that's God.
You're right. You want to come with?
Do you really want me there
while you patch things up with your wife?
She's less likely to throw any steak knives if we have company.
Um... if you think it'll help, I suppose...
Great, let's hit it.
Oh...
Hello, is this the Nelson residence?
Oh, good. I'm Sheldon Cooper,
the executive assistant secretary
at the First Baptist Church of Medford.
I'm looking through our donation records,
and I've noticed that you've tapered off a bit.
Well, yes, your children's education is expensive,
but so is running a church.
Oh, boy!
I'll be sure to tell the pastor. Goodbye.
That earned a sip of Yoo-hoo.
Okay. Who's next?
Wendy and Bill Mackenzie.
Of Mackenzie Chevrolet?
Now those are what we call "deep pockets."
Pat here, double the ten, and split the aces.
Connie...
I found an old-fashioned malt shop where we can
have milkshakes and listen to the jukebox,
like I never did in high school.
Yeah, great. Not now, John.
Okay, well, I was just hoping we could do something together.
For God's sake, John. I'm getting my ass kicked here!
I'm sorry.
Oh, Felicia, you're killing me.
(sighs)
Chip me another deuce.
(door opens)
Hello?
Selena?
Ooh. Big TV, fancy.
(reading in Spanish)
"Con amor, Selena."
Which means?
"Life is too short to be married to a loser.
"I'm leaving you.
Love, Selena."
"Love, Selena"?
Well, that's kind of a mixed message. Yeah.