-I'm not racist; I have, like, two black friends.
-Shut up!
-I'm gonna be late for my flight if I don't go right now.
-All right, have fun in France, man.
-Oh, by the way,
my French cousin's staying over while I'm gone.
-What?
-Yeah, his name's Pierre. Bye!
-[gruff voice]: 'Sup, brother?
-Pierre?
-The one and only, brother.
-You don't look very French.
-You gettin' racist on me, brother?
-No, no, I guess I've just never seen
a real French person before.
-Ha-ha, well, we're a fun bunch.
Up high!
Down low.
Uh... uh... we should go inside like right now, brother.
-We got you now.
-(Pierre) Macho, macho man
I want to be... [Nyan Cat ringtone plays]
-Hello?
-Hey man, how's Pierre?
-Uh, he looks and talks like Hulk Hogan.
-Well, duh, they all do.
Have you never seen a real French person before?
-Well, I guess not,
but, okay, not that there's anything wrong with it,
but is Pierre gay?
-Anthony, not all French men are gay.
That sounds a little bit racist.
-Okay, well, earlier today,
he was doing some really questionable things.
This is the living room,
and I'll show you--
Why are you holding my hand?
-Why would I not?
-Not gay!
-What?
-Not gay!
-What are you doing?
-Looking at gay porn.
-Not g-- okay, that might be a little gay.
-Anthony, you can't be so racist.
Just because his culture is different
it doesn't mean you can spread lies about his sexual orientation.
-He was looking at gay porn.
-And who doesn't from time to time?
-True.
-Dude, I gotta go.
I've been looking for French fries for the past five hours
and I can't find them anywhere.
-(Pierre) I want to be... [knock on door]
-(Anthony) Hey Pierre, are these your friends?
They look like Richard Simmons.
-You idiot, that's the Italian mafia.
-What the hell are they doing here?
-I have a lot of gambling debt.
I just can't say no to naked Twister.
-Okay, it's time to eat s--t and die, sillies!
-Yeah!
You've messed with the wrong Italians, Pierre.
-I'm so scared right now.
Hold me.
-What? No.
-There you are, you little silly,
now it's time to die!
-Any last words, you cute little butt-heads?
-Yeah, why are you guys acting like Richard Simmons?
-Uh, oh no he did not just say that.
-What the hell, man?
All Italians are like that.
-[stammers]: But, I thought they were like,
"It's a spicy meat-a-ball-a."
-Oh! I can't listen to this racist little prick anymore.
-Enjoy being racist!
And gay!
-You're gay? Eww!
-Well, that was a quick flight.
Oh, I'd like you guys to meet my new friends from Japan.
[rock and roll music plays]
-Oh great, let me guess,
all Japanese people look and dress like Elvis, right?
-Uh, no. We just got back from an Elvis convention.
-[speaks Japanese]:
-F--king racist!
-To see bloopers from this video and more,
click the link in the description below!
[gruff voice]: Hey brother, click the subscribe button
and I'll put some pants on...
Captioned by SpongeSebastian
...brother.