- We're gonna play a game
that we've been playing on the show lately.
It's called Never Have I Ever. [audience laughter]
And a lot of people really enjoy this game.
- I'm sure. - It's--they really do.
They ask to play it.
So I'm gonna-- I'm gonna read something,
and all you have to do is say "I have"--
- You gonna do it, too? - Or "I have never."
I'll play with you, sure. - Okay.
- I don't want to put you on the spot, and not--
- Yeah, right. - Huh?
- Okay. - All right.
So, "Never have I ever
hired a dancer because I wanted to hook up with him."
- [laughs] [audience laughter]
- Not in the beginning. - Yeah.
[audience laughter]
And then later?
I will say I-- [audience laughter]
Okay. [laughter and applause]
"Never have I ever been in-- - [laughs]
- "Never have I ever been in handcuffs."
[audience laughter]
- You never have? - Never have.
- Wow. - No.
[audience laughter] I can't believe that.
- Nor have I had adhesive on me, either.
- [laughs] [audience laughter]
"Never have I ever looked at my significant other's texts."
- Oh, I have. - Yeah.
[audience laughter]
- Who hasn't? - Yeah.
- Okay, good. [audience laughter]
- If they have something to hide--
- Hello? - Yeah.
"Never have I ever given someone a fake phone number."
[audience laughter]
Yeah. You gotta, sometimes.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
"Never have I ever lied to Ellen about who I'm dating."
- [laughs] - [audience laughter]
- Never have! [audience laughter]
I have never! [audience laughter]
I speak my truth. Go.
- "Never have I ever been to a nude beach."
- No. - No.
- That can't be pretty, I mean-- - No, no.
- It's like-- [audience laughter]
You imagine it to be like everybody's--
I don't even want to see myself naked on the beach, I mean--
I'm serious. I don't.
- Well...some people want to see you naked on a beach.
[audience laughter]
- They gotcha! Poor tWitch.
- tWitch wants to see you? - He's married, leave him alone.
- Yeah, he's married, but, you know.
He's-- [audience laughter]
Not dead.
[audience laughter]
"Never have I ever snuck a man into the house
while my kids were asleep."
- [laughs]
[laughter and applause]
That's awful! [applause]
You have to do it when they're asleep!
You can just--parading people-- come on.
- I don't know. "Never have I ever
joined the Mile High Club."
- Oh wait, what's the question?
"I never have joined the Mile High--"
- "Never have I ever joined the Mile High Club."
[audience laughter]
It's not that hard to join.
- [laughs] [audience laughter]