- Anytime I'm on camera, Mended Light has got BDE,
big dad energy.
And today for Father's Day,
I'm gonna react raw to some stuff
that my producer's throwing at me.
The reacts raw segments,
they give me stuff that I've never seen before,
and I just react live in real time.
These are my actual reactions.
So I know we've got, "Can Dads Answer Questions
About Their Kids?" where dads are quizzed
on their own children by Jimmy Kimmel,
and then something about dad swiping 20 times
to help his daughter find a date.
And so we're gonna see how these dads fare,
what are my insights as a family counselor
on their performance as fathers.
Here we go.
(playful jazz music)
- The thing they don't tell you about fatherhood is
that for like an hour a day,
you have to get on the floor and pretend to be a horse.
- Yes. - But we came up
with something fun in honor of this special day.
We wanted to put some dads to the test.
So we went out on the street,
and we asked them to answer basic questions
about their children in our first ever pop quiz.
- Oh, that's good.
It's a dad joke.
Got it.
Got ya, Jimmy.
Oh, wow.
- [Interviewer 1] Are you and your son pretty close?
- Yeah, I think so, yeah.
- [Interviewer 1] Yeah?
And would you consider yourself a pretty involved parent?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Interviewer 1] Very good.
So I'm just gonna ask you some questions about your son.
Just answer them to the best of your ability.
- I will do, no problem.
- [Interviewer 1] What is your son's birthday?
- Now, that's a good one.
That's a really good one 'cause I don't know.
(buzzer buzzes) (Jonathan laughs)
- No, I don't know his birthday.
- [Interviewer 1] Do you consider you guys pretty close?
- Yeah.
- [Interviewer 1] What is your daughter's favorite subject
in school?
- Social study.
- [Interviewer 1] Is that true?
- No.
(buzzer buzzes) (Jonathan laughs)
- [Interviewer 1] What grade is your daughter going into?
- Ninth grade.
(buzzer buzzes)
- [Interviewer 1] What's the name of your daughter's school?
- Ash Creek Elementary School.
- No.
(buzzer buzzes) - Oh, no.
- No. (buzzer buzzes)
- Something creek.
- No. (buzzer buzzes)
- All the dads who get it right
don't make the edit, obviously.
I'm feeling for this dad,
and I'm also wondering how many questions he got right
that didn't make the edit
because they wanted to sell the joke.
But still, I have had... (laughs)
I had this experience with my daughter,
and I'm like, "You are nine years old.
You are too old to be doing this."
And she says, "Dad, I'm 11."
And I'm like, what?
When the hell did that happen? (laughs)
They got food in their bellies.
They're being taught right from wrong.
They get hugs and...
Mistakes are made.
- Brown.
- [Interviewer 1] All right, let's look.
That is incorrect. (buzzer buzzing)
- They're blue.
I have a brown-eyed daughter though.
(Johnathan laughing)
- [Interviewer 1] What is your daughter's birthday?
- May 17th.
(buzzer buzzing)
- Oh, show up better.
- And I don't know what year.
(buzzer buzzing)
- Okay, so in fairness to me, when I said to my daughter,
I have to circle back to this,
"You're nine years old,"
and she says, "I'm 11,"
I had a nine-year-old son.
I totally get when he's like,
"Well, I have a daughter with brown eyes."
Like I get this.
Listen, the more kids you have, at a certain point,
it's hard to keep some things straight.
Doesn't mean we don't care,
and I'm hoping these guys got a lot
more questions right than wrong.
- [Interviewer 1] Can you name their teachers?
- Of course, I cannot.
(buzzer buzzing) (Johnathan laughs)
- [Interviewer 1] What are your daughter's birthdays?
- Ah, why do you do this to me?
- [Interviewer 1] What about her?
- I give up. (buzzer buzzing)
- [Interviewer 1] Any guesses?
- (clears throat) June 10th, August 12th, September 1st,
August 16th, and April 27th.
I do know my children's birthdays.
So I get something, right?
Do I get to be on Kimmel?
- [Interviewer 1] Any guesses?
- Yesterday.
- Oh yeah, yesterday. (laughs)
Horrible.
- [Interviewer 1] Her birthday was yesterday,
and you forgot it? - Just yesterday, yes.
- [Interviewer 1] Can you name the best friend
of each of your daughters?
- Maricarmen Rojas.
Jimena Lopez.
Alamari Lopez.
Christina Cornejo.
- [Interviewer 1] Now can you give us the name
of their doctor?
- Farri Torres.
- [Interviewer 1] Can you give us the name of their dentist?
- Games Dental Land.
- [Interviewer 1] What are your daughters' birthdays?
- Yes, May 28th, 2009.
August 8th, 2013.
- (laughs) Oh, my gosh.
(bell dinging)
(melancholy violin music)
(trophy slams)
(Johnathan laughs)
- Okay, so there are societal expectations
about what a dad does and doesn't do.
And there's too many of us who are still like,
"Well, I go to work,
and I bring home the bacon and job done."
Right?
And if I interact with you or play with you some,
that's a bonus.
And you notice just how with it the mother was.
I mean, that's...
Dads, we can do better.
And a lot of dads do do better.
Again, this is edited for comedy.
There are questions that people got right.
There are people that they quizzed that completely nailed it
that didn't make the cut.
So now we're moving on
to "Dad Swipes 20 Guys For His Daughter."
Oh, man.
My daughter would hate this.
(words popping)
(message blips) (Johnathan laughs)
- [Sage] I'm Sage.
I'm a senior at a small university in San Diego
studying international relations,
and my dad is with me here today.
- Clyde Taber.
- They've got the same face.
- I lead a faith-based nonprofit.
- [Moderator] So Dad,
what are you gonna be looking for today?
- Personality.
- He looks like a faith-based nonprofit guy.
- Substance, et cetera.
- Height, maybe.
- Okay.
- I'm 5'10, so. - Probably.
I am an includer.
So, the idea of excluding people based
on appearance is not natural.
- Good for you.
What a sweet guy.
(funky upbeat music)
Swipe.
Okay, swipe left or right on the 20 potential matches.
Oh, he's actually swiping left or right to their faces.
(heart blips)
(Johnathan laughs)
- Can I give you a hug?
- He's like, "'Cause you're outta here."
- That's a left.
(all laughing)
- He's so sweet about it.
- Can I give you a hug?
(bell dings)
- Oh, wow.
Ooh, he likes the long hair and the beard.
(bell dings)
- It's a height thing.
- It's a height thing?
(bell dings)
(Johnathan laughs)
- Can I give you a hug?
- Sure. - Oh my gosh.
So he's completely reneging
on his promise of height and appearances.
(heart blips)
- [Clyde] All right, you are in, sir.
- They're fairly synced up,
what he's choosing for her versus what she chose.
- [Clyde] Bring it.
Bring it in.
- Wow.
He's very inclusive.
It basically is, are they as tall as her or not or taller.
- Awkward.
I...
Everybody needs to be named,
and known, and seen, and loved, and it's like whoosh.
Gosh, killer
- [Moderator] Dad is gonna be judging you based on your-
- Yes - [Moderator] Introduction.
- Good call.
That was brilliant. - Very much.
- Hello, sir, it's very nice to meet you.
- What's your name?
- My name's Carter, what's your name?
- Carter, I'm Clyde.
- You look a lot like Steve Martin.
- Wow, okay, dude.
- [Sage] Oh, a little long.
- [Clyde] Okay, sorry, sorry, okay.
(Johnathan laughs)
- I'm Justin. - [Clyde] Justin.
- I'm Ryan.
Nice to meet you.
- Ryan, come on over.
- Hi, I'm Al
- [Clyde] Al?
- This dad's just super nice.
- [William] My name's Will.
- Hey, will. - What's your name?
- Clyde.
Good to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, I'm Cade.
- Cade.
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, dude shook hands like this.
No, you don't let him in
if he shakes hands like this.
- Okay.
- He was trying to establish dominance over you, the dad.
- Give me a hug, give me a hug.
- All right.
- Rufus. - [Clyde] Rufus.
- Oh, Rufus, there was no strength.
There was no strength in that handshake,
so what do you guys...
- Go this way?
- What are you- - My name's Niko.
- Niko?
- They're all looking him in the eyes.
(Sage laughs)
- You can go.
- You give such nice hugs.
- I'm Arthur.
- Arthur.
Can I give you a hug?
(bell dings)
Oh, Arthur.
Thank you.
You can go.
- Oh, is she mad?
- I thought Arthur was really cute (laughs)
with his purple shoes and his sport accent.
Yeah. (laughs)
- He is like letting 80, 85%...
I've never seen a dad who would approve
of this many guys for his daughter.
- Guys in there.
And I was trying to think, okay,
who are those couple of guys?
- My dad knows my type.
And I was like, oh my dad will know.
He'll know.
And then I was shocked, to say the least. (laughs)
- He probably still knows.
He just is super nice about it.
- So I'm currently going to CSUOB,
majoring in chemistry.
- I'm working toward becoming an EMT,
but the long term goal would be a firefighter.
So that's what I would see myself in five years.
- There's some good intimidation dad stuff right there.
- At University of Maryland.
I currently work as a public sector consultant.
- Okay, bro, you just said University of Maryland.
Just go right.
- You a TERP?
Are you a TERP or something?
- I'm a TERP, bro. - You're a TERP?
Oh my God. - I'm a TERP.
(laughs) No, I don't know why.
That was very unplanned.
I don't know.
That was visceral.
- So my name is William.
Go to the University of Maryland as well.
- Ah, nice one.
- [William] I do.
- You do not.
- I do.
TERP, College Park.
- Which campus?
- College Park. - Where do you live?
- Dale Hall.
- Okay.
(heart blips)
(all laughing)
Maryland, go TERP!
Where'd you live?
Pshh, I don't know.
That was about me.
You kind of called me out, so...
- I'll be honest, I'm here because like I said,
I just started my businesses.
So I feel like I'm just trying to get my face out there
as much as possible.
- Fair enough.
- I just love...
I like to talk.
I'm a talker. - All right, dude.
Can I give you a hug?
- Of course.
- Oh, the hug
- Good job.
Can I give you a hug?
- (sighs) Yes.
(Clyde laughs)
- I bet his daughter breaks up with guys really nice too.
- Thank you.
- Bro, I just swiped you right.
Swiping right.
- [Moderator] Your dad had a hard time narrowing it down.
(Johnathan laughs)
- That's rare for dads.
You know, most dads are like,
"Nobody's good enough for my daughter,"
and this guy's like, "At least 80% of men are good enough
for my daughter." (laughs)
Sweet guy.
- I have an idea.
I have two questions from each guy, the whole group.
Tell me something about your spiritual/faith life
and what's your opinion
about the border crisis between Russia and Ukraine.
- Whoa.
- Wow.
- [Clyde] Two questions.
Are we ready?
Boom.
- I go to the gym a lot.
And after the gym, I like just meditating, doing yoga.
- Spirituality isn't the biggest part of my life.
- I think it takes a bit more of a broader spiritual sense,
but I think Christianity is the lens
through which I make sense of who God is.
- So I was raised as a Buddhist, but nowadays at school
almost all of my friends are Christian.
So I'd say I'm pretty open-minded.
- I grew up Hindu, but I also grew up in a Muslim country,
so I've learned a lot about Islam.
I've learned a lot about different religions
and think it's important to have that perspective.
- For me, my whole family's Christian.
Everybody's Christian.
I'm also a Christian as well.
- And question two.
I'm not a big fan of Russia's moves in Ukraine, I think.
I mean, it's mostly about Crimea, right?
- This was filmed before the invasion.
- Russia's already big enough.
- For Russia, I know they're trying
to pull a false flag on Ukraine
and try to say people are attacking Russia
so they could attack.
- Dad's got great poker face on this.
- Problem in Europe.
Far as I remember, Russia's invading Ukraine.
- I'm pretty ignorant on the topic,
but I would be happy-
- Never mind.
He looked like he sucked some prune juice on that last one.
- I could learn and should learn more.
- I don't know much about it.
- I don't know enough to comment,
and so I don't want to.
- I do not know much about the conflict
to make an informed opinion,
so I will not answer that question.
- I also would not like to talk outta my ass.
- Sorry.
To the left.
You're to the right.
You can go left.
(Johnathan laughs) You can go right.
To the right.
All right bro, you can go right.
You can go right.
All right, to the right.
Okay. (claps)
- All right, so we got it down to like seven.
- [Moderator] Match for your daughter?
- One finalist set her up with.
- [Clyde] I do.
- [Moderator] Okay.
- Hey, how'd you do?
- Oh, did you like...
My inner OCD kicked in. - What?
- I just had so many questions.
- Okay. (laughs)
- When I think about life, dating,
I think my biggest thing
about dating is the kind of guy you date-
- All right, dad, what do you got for me?
- Probably the kind of guy you could marry.
I'm not saying this is a marriage thing.
- Okay.
- But the direction you start in is
probably the direction you keep going.
- This is good dad advice.
That's true.
- Have that potential.
I think you will like this person.
I think you're gonna find him handsome.
- Okay.
- And I think you may have a connection
on the faith/spiritual level.
- Okay.
- That's why he was checking for that.
- There's a surprise, a bonus feature,
that we'll wait to tell you the third thing about him.
- [Sage] Oh, that's great.
Okay.
(soft bouncy music)
- I think Jubilee should just do matchmaking for all of us.
- Hey. (laughs) - Hey.
- [Sage] What's your name again?
- My name is will.
- Will, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too.
- Okay, what's the surprise?
- (laughs) I don't know.
I'm assuming it's 'cause I go to the University of Maryland.
- [Sage] Ah, Maryland boy.
- Yeah. - Yeah. (laughs)
- [William] But are you from Maryland?
- No, my dad grew up in Maryland.
I've road-tripped Maryland.
- Which part?
- Couldn't tell you.
I was 12.
I ate a lot of crabs.
- I can show you around.
- Okay, I'll see you next time I'm there.
- Aw.
- You can take me there.
- I just was hanging out with some of the guys
and I'd love to get to know them more
because they're all interesting, amazing, creative,
and encountering people
and learning their stories is just part
of the richness of life.
- I love my dad.
- Very good man. - He makes everyone feel
very loved.
- He's a good dad.
- [Moderator] And will we give Dad's choice a shot?
- Yeah, sure.
He has my number, so it's up to him.
But he seems like a really nice guy, so we'll see.
I'm super open to meeting and hanging out with anyone.
(Johnathan chuckles)
(romantic clarinet music)
- Aww.
It doesn't hurt that they didn't pick anybody
who's sketchy or scary.
That's what they should have done
is they should have picked...
'Cause they picked like 20 really decent guys.
They should have picked 20 scary guys
and made him pick one of those guys.
So this other guy is just playing for them.
(laughs) He's like, "Well I didn't get picked,
but I'd like to play you a romantic song."
That is,
that's cold.
The dad didn't pick you for his daughter,
but he did pick you to play the music
for your daughter to dance with another guy.
Anyways, do you think you could pick
and pick well for your child?
And what's the difference
between what a parent wants for their kid
and what a kid wants for themselves?
I do like...
This is a very lovely relationship
between a dad and a daughter
where she's not seeking to rebel
and she's not like...
'Cause they are people who...
This was my experience.
The parents always chose me,
and the daughters were always like,
"Oh well, because my parents chose you,
I don't want anything to do with you."
I got a bunch of that.
I was the parental favorite,
but I did not win the People's Choice Award,
the daughter's choice award.
So I think that's great
that he and his daughter are so in sync.
That's beautiful.
If you enjoyed this, check out "Therapist Reacts,"
I'm the therapist,
to people calling their exes
to just follow up on why didn't we work out
and having really awkward and sometimes really profound
and meaningful conversations.
Check out that video right here.
What would you like me to respond to?
What types of scenarios?
Let me know in the comments below.
As always, keep shining.
We need your light.
And here is the video I told you about.
Happy Father's Day, everybody.
(playful jazz music)