Clay: Hey, there,
it's Clay with modernlove.life. And in this video, we're going to be talking about Brad Browning's
dynamic no contact concept. But first, my name is Clay with modernlove.life, where we help you get
the great loving relationship you're looking for without having to play mind games, without having
to play hard to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not.
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All right, so I was looking through some videos that come up on my feed. And given the nature
of what my channel is on, I get recommended some videos by some people that you all are probably
watching as well too. And one of them is by our dear friend, Brad Browning. And he said that he's
changing his mind on no contact, and he's now calling it what he calls dynamic no contact.
So what is this? Well, in Brad's video, he talks about how no contact isn't just this passive thing
that you just stop contacting your ex and you just hope for the best or you wait for them to
come crawling back to you or something like that. And this is a fair point,
I will admit that this is a fair point. I have seen so many people who ask me all
the time, "Hey, this thing happened. How long should I do active no contact?" That's what I
teach. I teach active no contact. It sounds a little bit kind of similar to dynamic no
contact. I wonder where Brad got that name from, but we'll talk about that later.
But anyway, people will say, "Hey, Clay, this thing happened. How long should I do active
no contact for?" And when people phrase it like that, I can tell they're not really seeing this as
active no contact. They're seeing it as, okay, let's just cut contact
and hope that something amazing happens. And I think this is a pretty fair point
that Brad Browning is making here that for it to be truly successful, you don't just want to
have no contact be this passive thing that where you're just kind of not contacting your ex and
hoping that something great comes of it, right? You have to be an active participant in it.
That's why I have active no contact. I guess he has dynamic contact. I guess he wants you to be a
dynamic participant in it, but whatever. Let's not mince words.
Okay, so what is this so-called dynamic no contact? Brad Browning says it sets your ex up
to be controlled mentally by you through some sort of mind control.
Not too keen on that personally, but let's go get into this. The first step is to block out
everything that your ex has or everything in your life that reminds you of your ex,
okay? So this means all the old photos and gifts and little memories and things
that the two of you have. Go ahead and get that out of sight, out of mind. It's going
to help you to accelerate your healing process. This is something that I've been teaching for
years and years now. We call it the no contact time capsule, where you can just kind of pack
things away in a box, put it in a storage unit in the garage, in the back of a closet, whatever,
if you even want to get all Marie Kondo on it, just throw it out or something. You want
to remove that stuff from your life, and you want to be able to focus on your own wellbeing.
This is a good strategy, actually. I would actually recommend that most people do this. So
when it comes to removing all physical memories of your ex from your life during a no contact period,
whether that's active or dynamic or whatever, I think this is actually a very good strategy.
The second part of Brad Browning's dynamic no contact is about expanding your social circle.
He says that this is specifically for the purpose of making your ex jealous through
what he calls covert jealousy. Not exactly sure about that, but I think that it's important for
you to expand your social circle, generally speaking, anyway. It's never a bad thing to
go out there and meet people who are interesting to you, who you genuinely take a real interest in.
I mean, I would be a little bit careful about going out and meeting people for the sheer sake
of making your ex jealous because then you start to use people as a means to an end. So
that's a little bit of a gray area, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with meeting new people,
especially if you actually enjoy those people and you genuinely want to form a connection with them.
I think this is overall a good strategy, just be a little bit careful about your intentions.
The third part of this dynamic no contact is about being a ruthless
in bettering yourself through working out, eating better, reading books, learning instruments,
taking on new hobbies. These are all noble things to do, and I would encourage you to do these
things if you actually have an interest in them. Obviously, I think that taking care of yourself
physically through exercise, eating healthy, whatever that means for you,
and learning things and taking on new interests that are of genuine interest to you,
I think that this is absolutely a positive thing. And I think it definitely falls into what I would
call bringing yourself into alignment with the kind of person that you want to be, the kind of
values that you have, and the kind of relationship that you want. You obviously do want to do that.
So if there's a part of you that's out of alignment where maybe you want something,
but you are not walking the walk, then yeah, absolutely, it makes sense to do this. I think
this is common sense, and this is something that I would encourage you to do in just about any sort
of situation here. Definitely, definitely do this. So Brad says you should spend about one hour a day
focusing on some sort of self-improvement schedule that you develop. Maybe it's an hour, maybe it's
more, maybe it's less, it depends on what you're after. But definitely do something to be striving
to become a better version of yourself because there's one thing universally that attractive
people have going for them, and that's they seem to be on their way somewhere. They seem to be
doing something interesting with their lives. So definitely do what you need to do to take your
life to the next level and live fully into your own values. I absolutely get behind that 100%.
The fourth part that Brad says in his dynamic no contact is getting closer with an existing friend
that you have, maybe someone who you've just sort of drifted apart because you're in a relationship,
and admittedly, when some of us are in relationships, we get a little bit enmeshed
with that partner and a little bit more separated from the other people in our lives. So you might
want to actually repair some of these friendships, strengthen these friendships, and all of that.
And I think this can be a valuable skill for a lot of people as well too because it shows you
how to interact with someone without an agenda. It shows you how to interact with someone and
just be accepting of where they're at, just listen, just to form an emotional connection,
without trying to steer it towards some goal or some sort of outcome. And so this is absolutely
something that I think can be really beneficial. It helps you to practice acceptance and empathy
and emotional connection, and all of these things that I think are great in a lot of areas in our
lives. So I think that absolutely strengthening an existing friendship, forming new friendships,
things like that, with the right motives and right intentions can be a really powerful thing.
Now, Brad says that you want to leverage this friendship so that they can post things on
social media about how great you are or something like that to make your ex jealous or that they're
missing out or something like that. And I don't know about that, but there's nothing wrong with
actually having a friendship with someone who you genuinely care about and who you can interact with
without some sort of ulterior motive or hidden agenda. You can just learn how to listen to them
because this is a skill that can translate over into how you interact with your ex if and when you
get in contact with them and start developing that emotional connection to a deeper degree.
But first and foremost, you want to be able to build that emotional connection. You want to
actually have the right motives and intentions for any form of social interaction or connection
or anything like that that you may have. So I'd recommend that this dynamic no contact
thing that Brad is talking about, it's all right. I'd question some of the intentions behind some
of these things, but that's his shtick. My thing is being loved for who you are, no mind games,
no playing hard to get, all that. If mind games are your thing, maybe this makes sense.
But I think at its core, getting your ex out of mind, focusing on yourself,
expanding your social circle with people that are interesting to you, upgrading yourself by
bringing yourself into more alignment with the kind of person that you want to be,
and getting closer and strengthening those existing friendships, I think these are all
great things that most people would benefit from. So totally cool with, I think, the heart of this,
the essence of this. Maybe some of the subtleties to it might be a little bit questionable in my
opinion, but overall it's not a terrible plan really. So anyway, those are my thoughts on
Breakup Brad Browning's dynamic no contact. If you did like this style of video,
I'm trying a new style here, if you did like this style of video,
give this a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, maybe leave a comment or something. And if you
do want to sign up for that email newsletter, it's down below in the description box. Anyway,
take care. Thanks so much. If you do want to learn more about my take on the no contact rule, active
no-contact, you can also check out this video series over here, or you might want to check out
this video right here. But thanks so much, please take care, and I'll talk to you next time.