Today we put on diapers. You're welcome.
Let's talk about that.
( music playing )
Good mythical morning!
Friends and enemies,
we are excited about today's show.
We're gonna be cooking the fanciest, most lavish,
and exquisite and Big Mac
you've ever laid your eyes on,
plus, we got a game about weird celebrity fan art,
but first, we're gonna briefly return to
a time in our lives when we had young kids walking around
with their feces packed in their pants.
Oh, gosh, that's right!
- Ugh. - The market place is flooded with diapers
of all different types and brands,
and if you're a baby, or know somebody who is,
you know that you don't have time
to test all those different diapers for yourself.
- That's right. - But rest easy, because that's where we come in.
It's time for...
( baby coos )
You like how I put come on Link in the title?
- Yeah! - I'm trying to encourage you.
And I'm here! That's why I showed up today.
- 'Cause you said come on, come with me. - Yeah, come on Link!
Okay, so we've got some of the top diapers on the market.
- The toppest of the diapers in the market... - Right.
and we'll be putting them through a series of very thorough tests...
- Mm-hmm. - and eliminating them one by one
until they're only two remaining.
And then when we have those two,
we're actually going to put them on personally
and put them through a very rigorous test
until we have one remaining diaper champion.
Now let's meet our contenders.
Okay, first up we've got Luv's Ultra Leak Guards.
These are 14 cent a diaper, money back guarantee
if you are not satisfied. Let's see.
We also have Pampers Sawddlers.
Uh, these are 25 cents a diaper
and they are the number one choice of U.S. hospitals.
Come on, Rhett, throw it that way.
Next up, we've got Huggies Snug and Dry.
Uh, these are also 14 cent a diaper.
They've got a leak lock system
and funny Mickey Mouse designs.
Look, how hilarious. He's there peeking
- Oh. - It's just fun.
So looking forward to seeing those.
We also have Honest Company baby diapers.
Uh, this is Jessica Alba's company.
- Is she... - She's not on there.
- Oh. - I looked already.
- ( chuckles ) - Um, these are, uh, organic diapers,
a little bit more expensive, 41 cents a diaper.
You can eat 'em. Is that what that means?
- Sorry, Jessica. - And finally, we're gonna test a Charlie Banana
two-in-one cloth diaper.
We've got a front panel that's disposable
for special occasions.
- $18.31 a diaper. - Whoa.
- But... - They are reusable.
You reuse it.
All right, let's test these diapees!
Okay, we're gonna start with a containment test.
And we're trying to simulate a motion environment.
Like, if you got a baby with a diaper full of poo
and you're going around a mountain curve.
You know that situation.
Or if your baby wants to take a ride on a ceiling fan.
- Yes. - Let's commence the test.
There's no poo-poo in here, it's pudding.
Here we go.
( nursery music playing )
Rhett: Okay.
Gonna take a little bit of time to get up to speed.
but once you start driving around that mountain...
- Yeah. - it's gonna be some force.
Here we go, middle of the road trip,
- you think everything's okay-- but, oh! - Oh!
I don't know which way that came from.
I bet it did, it did send a dollop my way--
- Whoa! There we go! - Another dollop.
- Oh! There's another dollop! - There we go.
Is favor in your side?
Maybe I'll get some pudding right in there.
- Oh, oh! - Pie hole.
Here we go. Oh, gosh.
Oh! I got one.
I think I might be able to catch one in my mouth.
Rhett: Oh, oh, oh.
You gotta be so quick if wanna catch some poop in your mouth.
( laughter )
Okay, you want to turn the fan off and see where we stand?
Yeah. Let's start here.
Look, the Honest Company, little bit of leakage.
Huggies is starting to creep out.
Rhett: Yeah, that's significant. Significantly--
Link: Charlie Banana, boy that's like a--
Rhett: He kept his banana in there, didn't he?
- Link: Well, and the pudding. - Rhett: Yup.
- Link: Luvs, ooh Luvs was-- - Rhett: Ooh, Luvs.
I think that's what you got on you, man.
You got some love on you.
Uh-oh, Pampers. Pampers is in trouble.
- Link: Pampers. - Rhett: Pampers, we got a serious breech.
- Really inched out there. - Make sure it's pudding.
- Yup. - All right, Pampers, you've been eliminated.
( baby crying )
All right, now it's time to test the absorbency capabilities
of these final four diapers,
because you don't want any leaky of the pee-pee.
Right, and we're not gonna be using urine,
although I donated a lot earlier today.
Uh, we sent Mike and Alex out throughout the office
to collect toilet water and as you can see they had a ladle,
but apparently not a good time.
Especially Mike.
-
Mike:
- ( laughter ) - collecting toilet water.
- Okay, we're going to-- - Yeah.
We're going to pour the toilet water
into the diapers at the same rate.
- Hmm. - Uh-huh.
Uh, and then the first one to leak--
- so scientific. - ( laughter )
Uh, is the one that will be eliminated.
Yeah, all right, let's pour in kind of a simultaneousness.
- You ready? - No... no.
And then distribute it.
Three, two, one.
- No. - Pour.
- Kind of slow, right? - No.
Oh. I'm-- I don't want to pour too fast
'cause I wanna pour at like a,
a baby peeing rate.
I'm half way through, Link.
- I'm half way through. - Yeah, I'm about half way through.
- Rhett: Whoa, oh. - Now, that went off the side.
- That was my bad. - Link, why don't you just-- hold your hands.
- I'm pouring two at once. - Well, so am I.
- It's not like-- - And mine are right in the middle the whole time.
Well, no, I'm distributing it around,
because you know how babies like to distribute.
No babies, usually-- there's one hole that the pee comes out of.
Okay, I just got through, man--
- ( laughter ) - It's just sitting in there.
- and starting to get absorbed. - So far so good.
- It did spill. - But look how mine is just sitting in there,
just suspended, in both of these.
Is that what's happening on yours?
- Or yours absorbed? - Mines absorbed in both of these.
This one's absorbed?
Maybe it's because I'm distributing.
You should distribute a little bit.
Okay, I'll distribute a little bit.
Distribute off the tops. A little bit.
- Oh, God. - Three, two, one... distribute.
Woman: Is the amount they are pouring
have anything to do with like normal pee amounts?
No, no, no. You don't know.
- Link: That's good questions. - We gave our baby so much water,
I said, "Kids, stay hydrated."
They were so hydrated.
We're the Neals. We stay hydrated.
That's what I tell 'em all the time.
Where you at on there, Link.
Mm, I'm almost halfsies.
- Rhett: Oh, oh! - Woman: Oh!
Oh, starting. I'm starting to reach capacity.
- Oh, God. - Over here. Ah.
Rhett: Don't move, John!
Link: Don't drink it! It's toilet water!
- Didn't you remember? - Ew!
- Yeah, you're right. - Mike and Alex...
- It definitely is-- - got it out of a freaking toilet!
Okay, I'm getting wet. It's happening.
Woman: No! No!
Charlie Banana's a fail.
( laughs )
- Whoo! - Link: There's more.
( laughing ) Oh, stop!
Uh-oh, we got some leakage over here.
Woman: It does look like blue Gatorade.
It's my favorite flavor.
- Ah! - Ellie, you've been spared.
The Huggie is holding up.
I know.
I'm almost done. Don't worry, Mike.
Why are you still going? The test is over.
- ( laughter ) - Charlie Banana has lost.
- I just wanna see. - All right.
( laughs )
It's missing you. You should come over this way.
- ( laughter ) - Thanks, John.
Okay, but it's just-- you know what?
It's gone-- it's done!
This is a flawed test.
I just wanted-- I wanted to say--
- I thought it was a perfect test. - I wanted all the water
to be there to see who was the wettest,
and it looks like John is the wettest.
- Yeah - Yeah.
- ( giggles ) - Whoo!
- Just to clarify. - Okay.
- There it is. - Now, I will say before we eliminate Charlie Banana.
- Right. - There are many other reasons to have cloth diapers.
Mostly environmental, and maybe even financial.
However, we are tasting the full capability
of these diapers according to our test
and so, unfortunately, we have to eliminate
- Rhett/Link:
Okay, now it's time to test the smell
masking capabilities of our diapers.
Uh, because this is an important thing.
I remember this from those dark days of fatherhood.
when my kids pooped in their pants.
- Yeah. - Um, basically once you get the diaper off,
you have to seal it up and y ou have this poopie bomb
that is in the house for an extended period of time.
- And you can't escape it until it's out of the house. - Yeah.
Unless you got a good diaper that can seal in the poopie smell.
Right. So we have conducted a test,
uh, that is perfectly logical.
- Yeah. - To assess this smell masking ability.
Uh, diapers stink. Rotten eggs stink.
Rotten eggs come from birds.
Birds make nests.
These diapers are in nests.
- In the diapers are rotten eggs. - Science.
Rotten eggs stink. Did I say that?
- Science. - Okay, so, let's just, let's smell 'em
and see which ones stink the most.
Both: Ugh!
- Oh, gosh! - ( laughter )
It actually smells like baby poop! Cover it!
Ugh!
And whaff... whaff it out.
Well, hold on.
That's just a baseline.
You think, okay, all right.
Here we go. Number two.
- Ooh! ( chuckles ) That... - Uh, much...
Going in for-- ooh.
- ( laughter ) - It's not good.
It stunk, but not nearly as much.
- Oh, wow. - But still cover it.
- Jessica Alba. - She did not--
- No, uh-- - That's not her rotten egg.
I picture her, somewhere constructing it.
Jessica, I know you did all the work, girl.
Okay, Huggies... remove it.
Both: Oh!
- It-- it-- it's bad, but... - ( coughing )
- It's bad. That is the worst. - But not that bad.
- Both: Luvs! - Gets no love from my nostril.
Rhett:
( baby crying )
For this final test, we put our butts in the driver seat.
Oh, in the diapers.
Remove the curtain of dignity!
( trumpet sounding )
I'm wearing the Huggies.
And I'm wearing the Honest Company.
Now we've stuffed these with the most baby food, food that
we could come up with, baby-back rib meat.
You're leaking a little bit, Link.
- Oh, good. - You got a little meat leakage.
But this test is durability.
And to get some help,
we're gonna need to summon the diaper genie,
- by wiping-- not wiping. - Don't rub-- rub.
You just gotta rub the diaper three times, okay?
- All right. - One, two, three.
- Oh. - Hello, diaper genie.
- Hi. - What do you have there?
- Some, uh. sanders. - Oh, of course you've got sanders.
Yeah, because they're testing the durability
and, you know, lots of times, kids'll drag their butt
in the sandbox and you don't want to leave a trail.
- You don't want any escapage. - Right.
So, what we're gonna do is we're gonna have our diaper genie
sand our booties until meat is released.
And the first one to have the meat released
uh, is the losing diaper.
Here's to you Jessica Alba.
All right, sand those diapees.
All right.
- ( sanders whirring ) -
Rhett: Whoa-ho!
Link: Ooh, it tickles.
Mickey's getting a tickle.
- Whoo! - I didn't know this was gonna be happening today.
- ( laughs ) - But I can't say I don't like it.
( laughs ) Ooh, I'm getting, I'm getting some sluffage.
Everything feels like it's sinking.
I don't have any meat releasing yet,
but I've got diaper releasing for sure.
Diaper genie is so good with a sander.
- Link: Oh. - Rhett: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Link: We have a little breach.
Is that a breach on me or a breach on you?
- A breach on both of us. - It was a breach on both.
All right, diaper genie, you're gonna have to go
until the meat comes out.
- Diaper Genie: All right. - ( sanders whirring )
( baby music playing )
( laughs )
Oh, we got-- there's meat coming out of Link's.
- I definitely see. - Is anything coming out of mine?
Is there meat coming out of yours?
There's something coming out of yours.
That's meat-- there's meat releasing.
There's chunks right there.
Look at that. Basically, I can stick my finer in there.
- I wont, but... - ( laughter )
- I mean I could. - Link: I mean, you've got a complete meat hole too!
No, look at yours though!
It's like a-- it's like--
I can see, like, the meat--
- you got a lots of things happening over there. - Link: Yeah.
All right, I'm sorry, Mickey.
And Huggies. You've gone down.
Jessica...
- Look at you. - ( laughter )
You've got the best diapers on the planet.
- ( laughs ) - Anytime you want to come on the show
and talk about them, or anything else.
Or not even-- just come on the show, just talk about things.
Were ready and willing.
Congratulations to the Honest Company.
You are the best diaper according to "Good Mythical Morning."
and this guy who at this moment is a genie.
That's right. Stay tuned because we're about to create
the fanciest most expensive version
of the Big Mac you've ever seen.
Rhett:
You'll love the latest episode of our ear biscuits podcast,
available now wherever you ear consume your podcasts.