[splash]
[audience applause]
[slurping]
Both: Ah!
- [New York accent] Oh, I can't believe
we finally got some time off, Shanice.
- [New York accent] You're tellin' me, Bernice.
I swear, workin' at the MTA
is gonna suck the collagen right outta my epidermis!
Bernice: Ah, the stress, the stress,
of workin' that concrete train tunnel
is makin' my eyebrow plugs pop right out.
Shanice: Pop pop.
Well we definitely deserve this vacation.
Right here, in Long Island.
[both giggle]
Both: To our stay-cation!
- Because why vacay, when you can stay-cay.
- Exactly!
It's a stay-cation, not a go away-cation.
I do not need to visit a mountain!
- Yeah, talk about a wannabe skyscraper.
Both: You will never be the Chrysler Building!
Flip!
- Ugh, it's like I told my third husband Paul,
"You want me to visit a mountain?
Put an elevator inside of it."
And sure enough, he did!
And I still didn't go.
[audience laughter]
- Well he was definitely more accommodating
when he was married to you than when he was married to me.
- Yeah, but still, he was always saying,
"Bernice, don't you wanna travel?
Let's go to Scandinavia."
And I was like no!
It's a stay-cation, not a Norway-cation!
- I fought a pigeon yesterday.
[audience laughter]
And guess who won?
- I don't even wanna guess, I don't even wanna--
- My new purse!
Bernice: Oh!
- What, oh yeah!
Check it out!
[laughing]
Both: Flip!
Bernice: Oh yeah, cover that epidermis.
- Gotta cover the epidermis.
Oh, speakin' of birds, check out this turkey.
- Ugh.
[audience laughter]
- [New York accent] Hey Bernice,
you look beautiful today.
- Jeremy, Jeremy, you turkey.
You are not respecting the boundaries
of our stay-cation.
It is not a play-cation,
so I suggest you go away-cation,
before I bust out my pepper spray-cation.
[audience laughter]
- Yeah Jeremy, not today-cation!
- Okay, I will no longer ignore
the boundaries of your stay-cation.
I'll see you when you get back,
I mean you'll stay here,
I mean I will just be walking around--
Okay, you just, you--
[bottle squirting]
- Got him!
Got him!
- Doesn't he know I don't wanna be bothered?
I'm on stay-cation!
- I know!
My landlord was like, "The rent's due today."
And I was like, "This isn't a pay-cation,
it's a stay-cation!"
- Yeah!
I asked my neighbor to water my plant and he's like,
"Why?
You're staying right here."
And I was like, "This is a stay-cation!
Not a water your plant-cation."
And he's like, "What?"
And I was like,
"The word plant usually works better than that."
- Well I liked it.
Both: Flip!
- There we go.
Cover that epidermis.
Bernice: Oh, you gotta cover that epidermis.
- Yep, nice and ep--
There we go.
- Oh, Shanice, don't miss a spot.
- There we go, there we go.
Oh, oh!
I think I got a little too much, you want some, toots?
- Oh, you do got a little too much, here.
- There you go.
- Thank you, doll.
- Yep.
[wind blowing]
Both: Oh!
Oh.
- Oh that's nice.
- Oh, would you feel that nice breeze!
- Yeah, mm.
- My kinda breeze.
- Oh yeah, the foliage, the foliage!
Hey so when's that dude gonna propose to you, anyway?
- Who, Jeremy?
- Yeah.
- Probably any day now.
- Ah.
- Lucky number six.
[laughs]
- This one's the keeper!
- Yeah, but you better believe we're not going anywhere
on our honeymoon,
not even Aruba.
- Psh, Aruba,
everyone goes to Aruba.
Bernese: Yeah!
It's like, Aruba, Jamaica.
Both: Ooh, I want a stay-cation!
[both laughing]
Flip!
[audience cheering]
- You know what's a great idea?
Download the free BYUtv app.
- Oh! That's a great idea,--
- I know. that's why i said it.
- but you know I have another idea.
- What?
- Why don't you download the free BYUtv app.
- Oh.
- Mmhm.
- You want to know an even more greater idea.
- What's a more greater idea?
- Yeah. Download the free BYUtv app.
- Oh! That's a great idea.
- I know that's why I said it.
I was thinking of saying, you know,
spend a weekend at Montauk, but nah, nah.
Download that free BYUtv app.
- Let's go to Montauk.
- Nah, let's download that free BYUtv app.
- Oh, we should just stay right here.
- Or we could do both, Montauk, BYUtv app,
talk girl shop, do our thing
- I like all of it.
I like all of it.
- Yeah.
[blows on fingers]