The thing is I started bargaining
because the integral rule is to bargain.
Guys...most guys are really bad.
The secret to good bargaining
is you can’t make any sense.
It’s an emotional warfare.
Of bringing a guy down to his knees.
This is how I bargain
which is the worst way to do it.
So, I’ll go with my friends for moral support.
Because guy best friends
is a beautiful relationship.
Two guy best friends... inseparable.
Anything would happen.
The world will end. They will be there for each other.
Two guy best friends is a beautiful conundrum.
Because
guys suck at expressing emotions, right?
But they have so much love for each other.
It’s almost like two guy best friends
are almost gay.
They’re just one thing away from...
There is so much love.
They don’t know how to express it.
Because guys don’t know how to express emotions, right?
They do really romantic things together without realizing...
Hey bro, you want to go for a bike trip together?
We’ll go to a hill station.
We’ll have tea on the way.
We’ll take photographs.
We’ll dress up in leather suits.
Just to make it manly... We’ll have beer also.
It’s a wonderful relationship.
Guys give me that moral support.
And you can’t...
and their emotions pour out when they get drunk.
Otherwise guys keep drilling down each other.
Bro, I’m not getting a job.
You will never get one, asshole.
The moment they get drunk... You can puke on me.
You can puke on me.
I am there for you, bro.
I love my best friend.
He is the closest thing.
I wish he were female so that I could date him.
That’s how strong our connection is.
It’s very strong.
This is all about bargaining...
so I’m with my best friends
at the bargaining place and they were all behind.
Sir, how much is the t-shirt for?
Sir, 150.
Give it to me in 140/-.
Sir, the cost price is 130/-.
The electricity bill is Rs.10/-.
Rent is Rs.10/-.
Corruption is Rs.10/-.
Education cess.
‘Swachch Bharat’ cess.
I don’t make any profit, sir.
Take 200.
I don’t want the t-shirt.
This is how my girlfriend bargains.
Sir, how much for this t-shirt?
150.
Why?
The question 'why' has boggled astronomers and physicists for years.
And she is asking a t-shirt salesman ‘why’?
I don’t know, madam, because things have to have a price.
It’s amazing what happens.
Just like... She turns into this person.
She’ll break him down, internally.
You can’t heal from that.
We went to Gokarna which is a place near Bangalore.
It's a beach place.
It’s like Goa before it was commercial.
It’s a place where there are a lot of white people.
It’s a place where white people are there
so brown people are ‘It’s not litter’.
White people are there.
So we go to Gokarna and
there is a street full of handicraft shops.
Hand made stuff, guys.
The biggest weakness my girlfriend has.
There is nothing like hand made stuff.
Buy greeting cards for a girl.
Draw some fuck all shit on it.
Get her friends to make a video collage
and send it to her for her birthday...
Oh my God!
Hand made stuff. The best shit.
She loses her mind.
But guys, there is a difference.
She has a friend with her.
Because when she and her friend combined force,
they become Captain Cheapness.
They combine and go together in the shop.
I don’t want to mess with that, okay.
So, I am outside.
There is a whole row of shops selling the same thing.
Five shops selling the same thing.
So I think – redundant, redundant, redundant...
She sees – opportunity, opportunity, opportunity...
I don’t think it is about the money.
I don’t think it is about saving 10 or 20 bucks.
A man thinks he has set rules.
She wants to show how wrong that guy is.
That is the satisfaction, right?
An arrogant man who thinks he knows what he knows...
And she breaks him down.
Both of them enter.
And this is how you break down bargaining.
I am standing outside because I can’t tolerate bloodshed.
It’s too much for me. I can’t take it.
So, she walks in with her friend.
Sir, how is this leather slipper for?
Madam, 200/-.
You get it for 150/- in Bangalore.
Which makes no sense.
What?
Madam, you won’t get it for 150/-.
You will get it here for 200/-.
Second strike.
We were here yesterday.
There was another man.
And he quoted us 150/-.
I have been here for 400 years, madam.
I am living proof that global warming exists.
You did not come here yesterday.
It is still 200/-.
And the ultimate and final threat.
We are leaving.