Hey, this is Mat Boggs and in this video I’m going to share with you ten questions that
you can use on a first date, or really any date, to help you be more connected and more
ignited.
You know, when we go on a date, right, there’s always this conversation line that happens
and at some point, it either gets awkward and disconnected or it gets fun and more connected.
So let’s first talk about what makes it awkward and disconnected.
Usually, this is when you run out of things to say.
So many people do this where they just fish for fact.
Facts are boring.
Facts don’t create any newness or any variety, and guess what?
Most people when they go on dates, they fish for facts like, “What do you do?
How long have you been there?
Do you have any brothers and sisters?”
It kind of looks like this: “So where do you work?
How long have you worked there?
Do you enjoy it?
How many brothers and sisters do you have?
Where’d you grow up?
Sure has been nice weather this week.
…” And the challenge with that is it really doesn’t give you a whole lot of information,
whether or not the person you’re on a date with is a good match for you because facts
are really one dimensional as far as revealing who that person really is.
Now, the other mistake people make, and this was actually more my style of mistake) is
they get way too intense and they become the interrogator.
I would go on dates and women, at the end of the date they would say, “God, I feel
like I was on a job interview,” or like, “What?
Do you work for the FBI?
Like why are you asking me these questions?”
It kind of feels like this: “So, what do you want for your love life?
What’s your longest relationship been?
Why did it end?
What do you see for yourself five years from now?
Do you want kids?
What are your religious beliefs?
Where do you want to live if you were to ever get married on day?”
Not a good strategy, not at all.
You can see how that leads to disconnection.
So let’s talk about a much better strategy to use, and that is asking high quality questions.
High quality questions lead to higher quality date experiences in your life because these
kinds of higher quality questions do two things that are great.
Number one, they keep things interesting and fun because they’re a pattern interrupt.
Remember, routine fuels boring.
If you’ve done something over and over and over again, if you’ve answered the same
question a thousand times, that’s boring.
But a new question that ignites your imagination keeps it fun and interesting and therefore
generates a better connection.
But the other thing that it does when you ask great questions is it helps reveal who
the person is that’s sitting across from you or sitting next to you on this date because
facts just lead to their past and what they’ve done before, but when you’re able to ask
great questions, that helps reveal his thinking process, right?
What does he value for himself in his life?
What does he want moving forward?
What is his future like?
When you’re able to understand those things on those levels, it’s much more revealing
about what kind of partner he’s going to be for you.
So let’s dive into these ten questions and how to use them.
The first way that you want to use them is you don’t want to use all ten questions
on the first date, or even in one date.
It’s like too much.
It’s overwhelming.
Just pick a couple that you want to use and use it at a strategic time.
So I’ll tell you when that time is going to be.
The second thing is just be open to his answer, right?
These questions are sort of off the wall, so be open and just observe how much he wants
to lean into these questions or not and respect whatever answers he gives.
They’re supposed to be fun, right?
The third tip is to have fun when you’re asking these questions.
The more fun you make it for yourself, the more fun it’s going to be for him on this
date.
So here’s when to use these questions, right?
Chances are you’ve emailed a few times, you’ve talked on the phone a few times,
you’ve gotten to know each other a little bit.
So when you’re meeting on the date, you’ll go through your niceties and you’ll say,
“Hey.
Hey, it’s good to see you.
How’s your day today?
What’d you do today?”
and you kind of go through the beginning.
You don’t want to use these questions right upfront there.
You want to save these for a little bit later because eventually, the conversation might
get to this place where there’s a lull in the conversation where there’s potential
like awkward silence and like, “Well, we’re not really connecting,” and that when you
want to pull out these interesting questions.
And you can use this line.
It actually comes direct from the movie Before Sunrise because it’s brilliant.
And you can say, “All right.
It’s Q&A time.
We’ve known each other a little while now so let’s ask each other a few direct, random
questions and the catch is that you have to answer ten0% honestly.
Are you game?”
And you kind of say it like that, a little tongue-in-cheek and playful and fun and when
you preface it like that, that immediate ignites fun and interest into the conversation.
It’s a total pattern interrupt.
Chances are the person you’re with has never had anyone say that to them on a date and
so they’re like, “Yeah, I’m game.
This is interesting.
All right.”
And then you just pull out one of these questions and fire away.
Now when you ask these questions, changes are they’re going to ask you right back
what the questions are and that’s going to get the conversation rolling.
So let’s dive into ten questions.
Again, pick the ones that resonate with you.
You don’t have to use all of them, but use them at the right moment and it’s going
to go really well.
So question number one is, “What was the first time you remember having a sexual thought?
Your first memory of that.”
And the person’s either going to lean into that or they’re not.
You’re going to get a lot of information right out of the gate with that question.
Question number two is, “Tell me about your most awkward kiss.
What was your most awkward kiss that you’ve ever had?”
Question number three.
You can set it up with, “Okay, here’s a random question: what was one of your most
favorite vacations growing up as a kid?”
Question number four, “Okay.
If you won a $250 million jackpot lottery, what would you do?”
Question five: “If you could relive one day in your life, which day would you choose
and what would you want to experience?”
Question number six.
I personally love this one because it’s off the wall and it’s weird and you get
a good feeling for what the other person is all about.
You say, “Okay.
We’re going to give each other rapper names right now, okay?
You’re going to give me one and I’m going to give you one.
What is my rapper name?”
And you just see what they come up with, right?
And then you give them a rapper name and the more funny, the more off the wall, the better.
My rapper name is MB Light to the Nizzy Explicit.
MB Doggie, Vanilla Icy, Explicit Downtown Julie Brown.
Maddie Boggy Boggs.
Question seven: “If you were told that you had one month to live, what would you do?
How would you spend that month?”
Question number eight: “Tell me this.
What’s a book or a documentary film that you’ve either read or watched that had a
significant impact on your life?”
I love that one because I’m a person who loves to grow.
I love to read, I love to study, and I also allow myself to be inspired and impacted by
things, and so I’m highly interested if someone else is the same way.
Question nine: “If you could trade lives with one person (it could be anyone) for one
day, who would it be and what would you want to experience?”
And question ten: “If you could marry any fictional character you’ve ever seen, who
would you marry and why?”
I think that’s awesome.
I love that question.
I was thinking about that for myself.
I think mine would be Ariel from The Little Mermaid.
Yeah, man.
She’s beautiful.
The red hair just gets me.
The red hair’s awesome.
Love that.
So those ten questions are really going to support you in creating more connection and
more fun on your dates.
Go ahead and use them as you wish.
Again, pick and choose the ones that resonate with you.
And as a gift for you, I’ve created a guide where I’ve put together 100 interesting,
high quality questions that you can use when you’re dating or in your relationships to
create more fun and more connection.
So go ahead and click the link in this video or in the description and you can go ahead
and get access to that guide.
I know it’s going to serve you greatly.
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