-For 20 years, reality TV dating shows
have provided escapism and entertainment value,
but, at times, have perpetrated damaging stereotypes,
highlighting the lack of representation on our screens.
And, two decades later, we're still asking,
"Why do people go on these shows
and can they actually find love"?
-My name's Becky.
Becky "Buckwild," as some people know me.
I was on a show called "Flavor of Love".
-Flavor Flav! -I was a stand-up comedian
and I was using Craigslist, at the time, to look for jobs,
so I was in the gigs section on Craigslist
and there was a listing that said,
"Do you wanna date a rapper"?
And I was like, "I didn't even know this was a job"!
Like who doesn't wanna date a rapper?
-I was on the show "Farmer Wants Wife".
I went on this Jewish website called jdatedotcom
and I posted this rant
on how I'm sick of all these losers, hooking up.
I got a phone call from a casting director
at FremantleMedia
and they're like, "You know, we've already casted the show
'Farmer Wants A Wife'.
Like we're looking for a typical
like Jewish character, like a JAP.
Do you think you're this person
and that you could portray this character?
And do you wanna go to Missouri for eight weeks
and fall in love with the farmer
and see if you could marry a farmer"?
And I was like, "Sure.
I have nothing else going on".
-I was on the Fox show "Playing It Straight" in 2004.
And this was about a group of men.
Some are gay and some are straight
and we were vying for a girl, Jackie.
And the winner, depending on if you were gay
or if you were straight, if you were gay,
then you would get a million dollars
because you fooled Jackie.
And, if you were straight,
then you would split a million dollars
and live happily ever after.
I believe the casting process was they were trying
to find gay guys that seemed straight
and straight guys that seemed gay.
-I was on "Married at First Sight" Season 4.
I actually had just kind of ended a relationship well,
maybe like four or five months before I got married.
A friend of mine sent me the link,
saying, "You know what? You should really do this".
I was like, "Ah, I don't think so.
Like, not right now".
A month later, I saw it and I was like, "You know what"?
Like I took it as a sign.
I took it as like, "I have to do it.
Like I'm not gonna lose anything".
-Hi. I'm Maya Benberry.
I was on "Catching Kelce" and they had advertised it
as a dating show, 50 girls, 50 states, with a guy.
We had no idea who it was, but she was just like,
"Oh, like, you know, we should all apply, Maya.
This to something".
'Cause I think it said an athlete and,
at the time, I liked dating athletes.
-My name is Mark Anthony Cuevas
and I was on a little show called "Love Is Blind".
They actually slid into my Instagram DMs
and I had maybe 1,500 followers, at the time.
Just so happened like, "Hey, we're doing this Atlanta
singles project
and would love to see if you're interested.
Click the link, answer a questionnaire".
And it was like ten questions.
-Editing for these shows can take months,
and sometimes more than a year.
The goal is to, hopefully, show a love story,
but also build a dramatic storyline.
The end result can mean words being taken out of context
and harmful stereotypes of people of color.
-All the people that are literally.
-Maya just starts attacking Minnesota
and it's just like so abrasive.
Everyone just gets out of the kitchen.
We're like, "We're not listening to you.
You're acting crazy".
-So, I just really honestly went into it like, "I'm a Black girl.
This is probably a white guy
and I'm probably only gonna be there like a week or two".
Like I just really did not think or aim to win.
Like I packed for two weeks
because I genuinely gave myself two weeks.
-I was portrayed very insecure 'cause I think a lot of the.
They kept on asking me about if Nick was attracted to me.
Like they kept asking me, so it sounded like
I just kept on wanting to talk about it.
The words that he said really like stung.
I would never tell him like,
"Oh, I didn't find you attractive, either".
I did censor myself, in some areas.
I could be very feisty.
I'm a feisty Spanish woman, [chuckle]
so I can be a little bit spicy,
but I edited and I censored myself.
I was scared of how I was gonna be betrayed.
-It has been an absolute pleasure getting to know you.
I really didn't feel like you
could honestly be the farmer's wife,
but there are a lot more personalities in this group
and yours is so outrageous.
-You wanna hear what I think?
I think that, when a group of ladies
come to visit you on a farm, you can't be cheap.
You didn't even go buy us flowers.
You picked flowers.
No, you guys.
This is what I think he needs to improve.
It was the same producers from like Paris Hilton show
and Nicole Ritchie, "The Good Life".
And I was watching, you know,
a little bit of like "The Bachelor".
I really thought this farmer was gonna be tall,
handsome, wealthy,
and he was gonna be like a rich farmer.
And so that's why I thought they cast me,
as like the Jewish gold digger
or, you know, to portray this character.
These women in the competition show they're working-class.
No respectable woman is gonna chase chickens like that.
-Obviously, after the show, you know,
he had picked me and I won and we dated in real life.
So he called me like, "Hey, they kind of want to redo
the storyline of the show
and actually make you the villain
because that's never really been done,
where the villain actually wins".
So I'm in my head because I'm like,
"I didn't even do anything villainous".
I was like, "Okay, like sure".
Like, I'm not thinking that they're gonna completely
make the girls go
and redo their greenscreens and say certain things happened
that they can never show that happened in reality.
'Cause you would never see on film me actually being mean
or saying the things that the girls tried to portray.
-Honestly, she's done some stuff to a lotta girls.
A lotta the drama in the house has really stemmed from her.
I think she said to one of the girls tonight
that she wants to go home.
I'm not sure why Lexi's talking about Maya like this.
I thought that was her best friend in the house.
-I expected him to defend me, so, when he didn't,
like that really, really hurt my feelings
because I just kinda felt like nobody
had my back at the network, not him.
And it was just me trying to prove myself to my followers
and the world, what type of person that I am
because I feel like I was perceived in such
a negative, villainous, bitter, angry Black woman type of way.
-The aim of some reality TV contestants is to get
into the entertainment industry,
but dating shows center on finding the one.
So do people actually go on these shows believing
they'll find love?
-There's a couple of hesitations.
I mean, I was 24, you know what I mean?
And so like am I really ready for this?
But I figured, for me, it was an opportunity of a lifetime.
I could either end up with the person
that I've wanted my entire life
or I just have a hell of a story to tell afterwards,
you know what I mean? Or a little bit of both.
-Most of my cast members were probably
not on the show to find love.
A lot of them are in the entertainment industry.
Not to knock that
because I was also in the entertainment industry
and I could sit there and say that I was genuinely thinking
that I could date Flavor Flav for real, in real life.
Now, what we didn't know, at the time,
was Flavor Flav was actually with somebody.
Like he had a pregnant wife at the time.
I don't know if they were married or not.
But, anyways, he had a person with him who was pregnant
while he was filming the show.
He was contractually signed to do three seasons,
so no matter whether he had a pregnant wife or not,
we had no knowledge of that.
-I believe that some of my classmates were on the show
to find love,
but I think everybody was on the show,
it was like a win-win situation.
Everybody wanted to, "A," find love and "B," get a career
because, you know, back then, reality TV could turn you.
It's like, you know, it was a stepping stone
to get into the scripted stuff.
So I do believe that most of the contestants were on for love
and, if love didn't work out, we all wanted to cash out,
like Cardi B says, and get a career [chuckle].
-I don't think anybody's on reality TV to find love.
I think reality TV's
the stupidest thing in the world.
No, you're not gonna find love by the person that was cast
by by Fox television.
But, overall, it's just another thing to do to be on TV
and have fun and maybe make some money.
-No matter how many people decry these shows as fake,
the impact of reality TV dating has been extremely real.
These programs aren't going away anytime soon
and former reality stars share their advice
to those thinking about finding love on TV.
-If I was gonna give advice to anybody that was planning
to do a reality show,
I would say don't take yourself too seriously
because you have no control over what's gonna be shown.
If you don't have high self-esteem,
if you have issues mentally,
I would probably not go on TV because it's definitely a place
where those things will be exploited.
But if you can not take yourself seriously,
it's a great opportunity.
It's something that not everybody gets to experience.
It's super fun.
-I'm gonna sing to you right now.
♪ Happy birthday to my girl Linda ♪
♪ She up in the soul food hinda ♪
She gettin' down.
When, I started doing "Flavor of Love,"
the only social media that was out there was really MySpace
and it was really huge at the time.
Everybody was on MySpace.
And like I literally, at that time,
I think I had over a million followers on MySpace,
which is crazy.
That's like Kardashian status now.
I was one of the first people to start trying to market myself
and come out with products.
I had a whole logo that said "It's time to get Buckwild".
I had T-shirts.
I had hats.
People are such fanatics of the show
that they like want stuff from it.
They want stuff from you,
so there's such an opportunity there for money to be made.
-I think that, if you're a professional
and you have something going on,
whether it's like a marriage or a great career,
I don't think reality TV is for you.
But if you're like me and you're 24
and you had nothing going on
and it's gonna be a win-win situation,
I would recommend people because, honestly,
it was one of the best experiences of my life.
-Be 100% yourself because people are going to trash talk you,
regardless if you're like the kindest person,
to if you're like the biggest jerk.
So, might as well trash talk me
when I'm being absolutely exactly who I am.
So, given a chance again, I would be feisty.
-I'm so proud of us for getting through the ups and downs,
but I don't think either one of us is ready to take this on.
-I have no regrets from the show.
Honestly, I'd do it the exact same way.
Everything happens for a reason and it taught me
so much more about relationships and identifying red flags,
identifying like things I need to work on within myself
and things that, you know, again, just going with your gut
when you feel like you need to commit to something.
Like it was scary, like to go by myself,
not have a phone for three weeks.
There's no backup. There's no friends, no family.
And I went all-in into this experience.
It taught me that confidence of like,
"I can do this if I believe in myself
and I go all-in," and that's all I ever did.
And, you know, I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic
and, you know, sometimes it works,
sometimes it doesn't, but, at the end of the day,
I'd rather go all-in for something
and it not work, than never try at all.