Once upon a time, there lived a kind-hearted old couple and their beloved dog, Shiro.
One day, while the old man was working in the field, Shiro stopped at a spot next to
a tree and started wagging his tail and digging his little paws into the ground.
“Arf arf! Arf arf!” Shiro said,
which was dog for “Dig here! Dig here!”
The old man was curious, so he grabbed a nice hoe and went to work,
really putting his hips into it.
It wasn’t long until his hoe made a metallic clink,
and even less when he dug up a stash of gold coins as big as his kindness.
The husband and wife were delighted, and wealthy, too.
Unfortunately, a rich bank account comes with poor friends.
And there they were.
This old couple who lived nearby came over.
It was Opposite Day, and they were being very nice and pleasant.
“We heard you had a miracle dog,” the neighbors said, robbingly,
and convinced the trusting old couple to let them borrow the dog.
The neighbors brought the dog home and said, “Please, Doggo-san.
We would be so appreciative if you found treasure in our field.”
Now Shiro might have been a dog, but he wasn’t a bish.
He knew what this couple was about.
Their hobby in the past was kicking and abusing him,
because they were jealous that they didn’t have such a good boy.
He said, “Arf arf,” which meant “No way.”
The cruel neighbors got mad and tied a rope around his neck, dragging him across the field.
But the dog rewarded them with neither a bark, nor a wag of the tail, nor even a cute handshake.
After a while, the dog finally stopped at one spot and pawed at the ground.
The two humans got excited and hoe’d like mad,
their eyes gleaming like the gold they were about to not find.
Instead of coins, a black stinking sludge oozed from the ground.
The wicked old man was disgusted and slammed his hoe on poor Shiro’s head.
Shiro let out a final sad “Arf,” which meant, “The audacity of these fools.”
When they found out, the kind-hearted old couple burst into tears.
They buried Shiro in their field and planted a baby pine tree next to it.
The tree grew quickly, and the old man cut it down to make an usu,
which was a large mortar used to make mochi.
Shiro loved mochi.
The old couple put rice into the usu and started pounding it to make mochi,
but with each strike of the hammer, more rice popped out.
Pretty soon, their kitchen was filled with rice.
When the greedy couple heard of this, they were full of rice envy.
They ran over and asked to borrow the mortar.
This time, knowing how shady these people were, the old man…
let them borrow the mortar.
Somewhere above, an angel tore off its wing.
But when the greedy couple pounded their rice, it turned into the same sludge as before.
The stench assaulted their noses like they assaulted the dog.
Disgusted, the wicked old man burned the usu.
When the kind old man came to take back his usu and discovered that it had been burnt,
he was so angry that he immediately gathered the ashes and went home with a heavy heart.
When he and his wife carried the ashes to Shiro’s grave, a breeze happened to blow
some of the ashes into the air and onto some dying cherry blossom trees.
Immediately, their withered branches flowered into an anime scene.
The kind old man put the ashes in a basket and went around the countryside calling himself
the old man who made dead trees blossom.
He left a path of colorful trees and happiness in his wake.
A great lord happened to see the old man pass by, singing out of tune.
The lord was intrigued and said, “Show me how you make dead trees blossom.”
And so he did, and the lord was so amazed that he gave the old man a huge barrel of money.
Now when that greedy old man heard this, he was like, “Son of a--”
and gathered the bits of ashes that were still on the ground where he burned the usu.
He went around singing, pretending to be like the good old man while keeping an eye out
for any unsuspecting lords grazing nearby.
And there was one now.
The same lord walked up and asked the old man to do the trick.
The greedy man happily scattered the ashes over a tree…and something happened.
A gust of wind blew the ashes right at the lord and his men.
It got into their eyes and noses and everyone coughed and wiped their eyes.
The lord had the old man beat up until he could only crawl home,
where the wicked couple had a tantrum, yelling about how life was so unfair.
The good old couple heard the ruckus and came over to scold them for being so greedy and cruel.
Then, being good people, the old couple gave their neighbors a large barrel of money,
because they were totally loaded now and didn’t need to hoard wealth.
Having learned their lesson, the greedy couple stopped being greedy
and lived good, virtuous lives ever after.
Now if I know my audience, then I know you hate this ending, because you’re vindictive little punks.
Luckily, folktales have many versions.
Here’s a different version of the ending.
When the lord’s group suffered the ash attack,
the lord threw the greedy old man into prison for a while.
After some time, he returned home, but by then everyone in the village had already learned
of the couple’s wickedness and ran them out of town.
The greedy couple lived in poverty thereafter.
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