- Today we determine the best coffee chain.
- Let's talk about that.
(alarm rings) (playful theme music)
(fire blasts)
- Good Mythical Morning.
- It's Cyber Monday, which means, it's your last chance
for 20 to 40% off all items at Mythical.store.
What are you doing, get over there!
- 20 to 40? - 20 to 40, man.
- Wow, all right, let's talk about coffee.
- Okay. - Java, joe,
the hot brown that goes down down.
- Oh. - Liquid wakey time elixir.
Whatever you wanna call it, just give it to me,
every morning, before you attempt to converse with me.
- But what is the best hot brown that goes down down?
- Yeah.
- That you can easily buy downtown.
- Oh. - We're going to find out.
It's time for Can We Deduce Who's Got the Best
Bean Juice Before We Have to Drop a Deuce?
- Woop!
We are going to blindly taste signature blends
from America's most popular coffee purveyors
and we're gonna rank each coffee on a scale
of one to 10 and in the end,
whichever coffee has the highest combined score
will be declared the greatest.
- We're also gonna be playing against each other
to see who can correctly ID each coffee.
Or ID, not idea, but you gotta have an idea just to ID.
Whoever guesses the most brands will be crowned
the beans knees.
The coffee's we're gonna be tasting are Starbucks.
- Dunkin, formerly Dunkin Donuts.
- McDonald's. - Peet's
- Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.
- And 7-Eleven.
- Let's get to tasting.
(elevator music)
- As you can see, we still can.
Yes, this is a blind taste test in that we won't know
which coffee we're drinking but we will not, however,
be blindfolded 'cause coffee looks like coffee.
- Yes, and to keep the brands secret,
we asked to drink them out of blank mugs,
but I think there was some miscommunication because
this is what we ended up getting.
- Thanks, guys. - Blank mugs.
Mugs also means face, I think it's a joke.
- [Link] I mean there's still a handle on here.
- Okay, this is our first one, you wanna--
- Dink it, dink it gently.
- You got a different girl.
- Yeah I do.
- What's yours names?
- I don't know, eyes closer together than yours.
(Rhett laughs) That's the name.
- Okay.
We each have just a little bit of cream in the coffee.
- There's a dark and storminess to this coffee.
- This is gonna be very difficult to decipher who's who.
- It's rich, I would say.
- This is a, it's familiar to me but I don't know
if it's because it's coffee, you know what I'm saying?
Or if it's specifically familiar to me.
It's like seeing someone that you might be related to
at the family reunion, right outside of the family reunion.
- Right, are you a cousin or are you caterer?
- Do I know you or do I just know the general features
of your McLaughlin face?
- Hm, okay, let's at least start by saying
how great we think it is.
I think it's-- - To me, average coffee.
- Yeah, for a second I thought it might be generic,
but I'm pretty sure that it's not.
I'm gonna give it a six. - I'm gonna say six as well
'cause five feels like a little below average,
which on a scale of the 10 I think it is average,
but six is what I was thinking as well.
- Let's guess.
- [Stevie] Okay, three, two one.
- McDonald's? - Peet's.
- No, I think I know McDonald's and Starbucks.
Those might be the only two.
- Well I thought I did too,
that's why I think I'm familiar with it.
(elevator music)
- We're grabbin' 'em by the ear.
- Yeah. - Drinking out of the top
of your head. - It's be convenient to have
a friend that had a handle for an ear.
- Could be drinking out of the mouth. (slurps)
- What?
Fine, you don't wanna dink?
- No.
- Okay. - This is a competition.
- Oh.
Oh.
- There's an old familiar feeling to this, is there not?
- Yeah yeah yeah.
This is more familiar than the other one was.
- It's interesting that--
- This is like my actual grandpa.
Seeing my grandpa, who's dead.
- Hold on.
See I think you're thinking that this is Starbucks,
and I'm thinking that when you thought that,
it made me think this was Starbucks.
(Rhett laughs)
- Oh, you should have dunk me.
I wouldn't have fooled you.
- Man, there's definitely something,
but the more I taste it, it doesn't taste as good
as I think Starbucks tastes and it's got a plasticiness
that I don't think is the head I'm drinking out of.
This is not good coffee the more I drink it.
This is...
I'm gonna give this a two. - Really?
- Yeah, I do not like it.
- Willy! - I do not like this coffee.
Now where is it from? (grunts)
- I don't know, it's not quite as good.
I'm gonna give it a five, it's not a two.
- Yeah.
- I don't know what you're drinking.
- I don't like it.
- Ready? - You're getting some of your
head juice over there.
- [Stevie] Three, two, one.
- McDonald's. - 7-Eleven.
(Rhett chuckles)
You think it's Mickey D's huh?
- I'm doing the scatter shot approach where you
just guess McDonald's for the first two.
- Nah.
(elevator music)
- Yet another woman with another cup of coffee in her head.
- Same woman, dude.
- Oh it's not a different woman every time?
- You made me feel really guilty to not dink you last time,
so I late dinked you twice.
- Whoa, whoa.
Whoa!
This is bad coffee. (chuckles)
- It tastes like hot water.
- We hit the one to two range on my scale.
- Ooh man, now that I'm tasting this,
that two that I gave on the last one.
- You gotta go negatives.
You gotta go negatives.
- Can I up that score?
- I don't think you can, man.
- [Stevie] I will allow it.
- Okay, it is allowed, okay.
- All right I'm gonna change my previous score.
First time ever.
I'm still gonna give it a four,
so that I can give this one--
- Don't go to one.
I'm going to two.
You can go to one if you want.
I think it could get worse.
- It's not that it's bad, it's that it's flavorless.
Two. - I have a difficult time
imagining it being worse though.
- I'm giving it a two. - Okay.
- Mm, boy, boy, boy.
- Boy, boy, boy.
- Boy, b-boy, boy.
- Boy let's guess. - All right.
- [Stevie] Oh what was yours Rhett, sorry.
- Two. - Oh.
- Yeah, we twoed across.
- [Stevie] Three, two, one.
- [Together] 7-Eleven.
- I'm not saying that based on experience,
I'm just kinda saying it based on it's gas station.
- Yeah. - It's gas station coffee.
(elevator music)
- Here we have a head full of different coffee.
Ooh, this one is-- - This one's not good either.
- No, no, no, I don't think this one's not good.
I think this one could be good.
- You think it could be, but is it?
- It's very bean-y, like--
- Why does everything taste like McDonald's coffee to me?
What does that say about me? - It's bean-y.
It's got a bitterness to it.
I want a good bite in my coffee.
Therefore, I do like this.
- I'm giving it a five.
Again, it's not bad.
I've been out of the coffee game for a good while.
Maybe I lost my coffee taste.
- What was my score on the first one?
- I give this one a seven. - Wow.
- Yeah, it's got a little bit of a punch that it's packing.
- Ready? - Where is this from?
Okay. - Three, two, one.
- Dunkin. - McDonald's.
- Really? - I forgot about Dunkin.
(Rhett laughs)
I think I'm right though. - Maybe you are.
(elevator music)
All right, more coffee.
- Trying to remember what I haven't guessed.
Dink it.
You don't wanna dink me?
- You're the one who stopped the dinking a long time ago.
- Why is it getting worse?
What's happening to me?
- This one's nutty.
Do you taste nuts, like in general?
- Not regularly.
- I taste nuts all the time, man.
Peanuts, walnuts, almonds.
- It's bitter.
The coffee's bitter, man. - I think the head
is messing with our heads.
- Yeah I think drinking out of a person's head is not
all it's cracked up to be.
- I also have this theory that the whole experience
is what makes you think coffee tastes great.
Like being in a certain cup from a certain place
and then, like the coffee I drink every day
probably tastes like crap but because I don't think about
whether it tastes good, I just drink it out of habit.
'Cause I had decided three years ago that it tasted good.
- I think it all might be the same coffee.
- I think this is good. - Is this a trick?
Is this the April one episode and we're shooting
way ahead of time,
and it's a prank on us.
- This is the best coffee that we've tasted.
- Is this the payback--
- They're getting better for me.
Eight. - It's getting worse.
- This is an eight.
- Really?
- I like a bitter, it grabs your tongue,
wrestles with it a little bit.
- Five.
Who am I?
I don't know.
I don't know what to think about myself anymore.
- [Stevie] Ready?
- Yes.
- [Stevie] Three, two, one.
- Starbucks. - Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf.
Or Tea Leaf.
(elevator music)
- Okay here we are to the last one.
Can we do a proper dink and sink?
- [Rhett] Yeah what parts of our faces do you want to dink?
- We'll do like just a nose touch.
- Dink it.
- [Rhett] We almost kissed.
This has gotten weird.
- And sink it.
Milder, smoother.
- That's the best coffee we've had.
- Well, you don't like a bitter coffee.
- Like I said, it's been awhile since I had coffee.
I'm a tea man, so maybe I've lost my wherewithal.
I admit that.
- I don't think there's a lot of coffee coming forward,
I think it makes the cream and there's only a little bit
of it in here, the star.
Which to me is a demerit.
'Cause there's not that much cream in it.
- I don't know, it's smooth, man.
- It is smooth. - It receives the cream.
- It's smooth.
It's so smooth.
- It receives the cream and mingles with it
in a way that is satisfying to me.
To me this is the best coffee, I'm going to give it
a seven, 'cause it's not great.
- Well the best coffee I rated was an eight, right,
so, I'm gonna...
This is good middle of the road coffee.
A six, I'm giving it a six.
Wasn't easy, as you could tell.
- [Stevie] Ready to guess?
- Yes I think I am.
- [Stevie] Three, two, one.
- Peet's. - Peet's.
Oh. - Oh.
Yeah.
- Blind guessing.
- [Stevie] So it looks like we have a tie for number one.
- Can we remove our? - You may remove
your own personal glasses.
- [Stevie] The tie is between Coffee Bean
and Dunkin.
Surprise?
- [Link] Coffee Bean and Dunkin?
- Coffee Bean does not surprise me
'cause I would have thought that was an upper tier coffee,
but Dunkin coming through.
Coming strong. - Dang, Dunkin.
- [Stevie] And that's the only place you tied
because you each got one correct.
- (laughs) Oh gosh, which one?
- This is hard, this is tough.
Dang it. - Okay we'll find out
in Good Mythical More.
- All right so the beans knees.
- We each get a bean knee.
- (laughs) Okay.
So here we go.
Dunkin!
Aw shoot, I'm dropping beans everywhere.
- [Rhett] Okay.
- [Link] Now we're gonna have a knee-off.
- [Rhett] What happens if we crash our knees
into each other?
- Like a high five?
Three, two, one.
(laughs)
- I don't want to end up with a problem.
Just do a nice one.
(beans clicking)
- Oh yeah, making a mess.
Making a mess. - Look at us.
The beans knees.
Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- Oh, you know what time it is.
- I'm Kira. - And I'm Andrew.
- And we're at the original Starbucks
in Pike's Place, Washington.
And it's time to--
- [Together] Spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- Look at that. - There they are,
in a Starbuck. - Well my goodness.
Click the top link to watch us try some interesting
fan-submitted coffee creations in Good Mythical More.
- And we're gonna declare which one of the two finalists
is the winner. - We gotta narrow it down.
- We're not happy.
- Not happy at all!
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