Hi, how are you?
I can see that you're ripped now.
The last time I saw you, you were not.
And now you are.
Yeah.
It didn't happen overnight.
HOST: I guess it didn't, huh? - No.
You had to do, like, exercise and that sort of thing.
That's the biggest problem with it.
HOST: Yeah.
You know what, no, the biggest problem is once you get there,
you don't stop exercising. HOST: Right.
I wish it was just like a video game
where you just, like, hit "save" and then
like, all right, now I look like this every day.
You have to keep it up now. Yeah, you've-- you know what?
You've gone too far is what has happened.
Well, I'll tell you when I saw-- because I
follow you on Twitter, and I--
I saw the photograph.
And I thought-- honestly, I thought you were making fun
of Donald Trump because he had posted a photo of his head
on, like, Sylvester Stallone's body.
And I saw it.
And I was like, oh, that's funny,
and I just kinda kept going.
And then I started reading all these stories about,
"oh my god, Kumail's body."
And I'm like they found Kumail's body?
Oh my-- [LAUGHTER]
--you know.
But it became, like, a worldwide viral sensation--
your body.
Yeah!
Super weird, man!
[LAUGHTER]
It was a weird couple days.
HOST: I have the photograph here in case you haven't seen it--
Oh my god.
HOST: And I couldn't imagine that [INAUDIBLE]..
[APPLAUSE]
Now, I mean, look at the--
this is the part that's absolutely ridiculous.
It's like--
KUMAIL NANJIANI: Yeah, it's actually
the streets that lead to my home that I grew up in in Karachi.
[LAUGHTER]
That's the map of Karachi.
HOST: I did not know veins went in that direction.
I thought they only went this way.
I had no idea.
KUMAIL NANJIANI: Yeah, no, I think I messed
up my veins by working out.
Those aren't going anywhere.
Where are those going? HOST: They should--
KUMAIL NANJIANI: Shouldn't they be going to the heart?
Aren't they supposed to go to the heart?
They are supposed to go-- they're lost veins.
So take me through this photograph.
And who took the photograph, first of all?
KUMAIL NANJIANI: So the trainer who trained me for this--
his buddy took the photo.
OK.
And what happened was so-- so this
was right before Christmas.
Uh huh.
We were shooting this movie--
"Eternals."
It's Marvel--
A Marvel movie coming out called "Eternals" and--
[APPLAUSE]
They're already-- they're already fans of the movie.
[LAUGHTER]
I'll just look at it myself.
It was like--
it was like the week before Christmas.
And I was like I don't know if I'm ever
gonna look like this again.
Who knows what I'm gonna look like after Christmas?
So I was like I want to take a picture just so I have it.
Then as soon as I saw the picture,
I was like the world must see this.
[LAUGHTER]
And so I was shooting.
I was on set shooting, and I just put it on my Instagram.
HOST: Uh huh.
And then I checked an hour later,
and it was like, fine, some likes.
I was like, "cool."
And then I checked again, and it had exploded.
On my Twitter, I was scrolling, and it was just like my torso,
torso, torso, torso.
It was like over and over and over.
It really got out of control.
HOST: And it did.
It was like, I mean, it was shocking to people
because it's like, it's not-- you didn't give us any warning
that this was gonna happen.
Well, I-- you know--
it's a little bit--
it was covered a lot.
The story that I didn't like was a lot of people would do, like,
two side by side pictures.
HOST: Oh, yeah.
Can you believe this turned into this?
[LAUGHTER]
And it's just a picture of me from a year and a half
ago looking how I've looked my entire life.
You find out what people really--
Yeah!
And they're like, can you believe this garbage pooping
sea monster turned into this?
Like, was I, like, leaving a trail of slime behind me?
[LAUGHTER]
HOST: Maybe so, maybe so.
I was normal looking!
HOST: What did your parents think about this?
And your family?
So this-- it exploded, right?
I didn't know-- it exploded.
I freaked out.
I called my brother.
I was, like, are they, like, upset?
What's going on?
HOST: Uh huh.
And my brother said, "Dad has already
sent your naked pics to both family Whatsapp groups."
HOST: Oh.
Both of them.
And then it got in newspapers in Pakistan.
And so I had all my aunts texting me pictures of myself.
Like "So proud of you.
So proud of you, son."
Yeah.
HOST: Wow.
It's weird to have your aunt sending
you naked pictures of yourself.
HOST: Yeah.
It was like anything but shame.
Usually that stops when you turn three, you know?
[LAUGHTER]
They were like, wow, well done.
So tell me about, and I'm sure you're
tired of talking about this-- - No, I'm not.
I'll talk about it.
But tell me about--
I'm very excited to talk about it.
You must have-- I mean, because you really did.
I mean, this is ridiculous.
Like Dwayne Johnson weighed in on your body, right?
Yeah!
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
HOST: Yeah, and that's, uh, you know, that's a big compliment.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
He said-- he said, "Dense muscle is
hard to achieve, my brother."
He thinks my muscle is dense!
HOST: Yeah.
[LAUGHTER]
I don't know how he could see that because that's,
like, dense--
he didn't touch me or anything.
HOST: And is that a thing even?
Is there, like, a density to mu--
aren't they, like, I didn't know some muscles
were denser than others.
I didn't know, but if the Rock says it--
HOST: It must be true.
Who knows better?
I think it'd be hilarious if you touched the Rock
and all his muscles are super soft.
[LAUGHTER]
Like they look hard, but when you touch them,
they're like marshmallows.
HOST: By the way, I've touched him.
He's-- it's not-- he's not soft at all.
- Yeah. - There's no softness.
He's like this.
Yes, it's like banging against Mount Rushmore or something.
Yeah.
HOST: So as far as, like, diet goes, have--
Oh, it's been--
Have you gone back off the wagon?
Yeah.
So I finished-- I got back day before yesterday.
And I honestly, like, the hardest--
you work out every day, and you sort of learn to enjoy it.
But I-- the diet is the hardest thing.
I have not had pizza or a donut in over a year!
HOST: No sugar.
No su-- no, I've had no refined sugar in a year.
I've had almost no carbs at all.
I basically-- you know what my snack is?
You know what my snack has been that I tell people--
I tell people, like, actually it's not bad.
You know what my snack is?
I get a bag of sugar snap peas, and I eat them.
HOST: Oh my god.
That's what I've been doing at night when
I'm, like, I'm a little hungry.
I'm gonna treat myself.
Crunch, crunch.
So is it OK now?
Are you all ready to enjoy some of the things you used to love?
I haven't done it yet, but I'm like, I will.
Yeah, I cannot wait.
We have something special for you.
Please go ahead and be careful of your head.
There's--
- What? - Now this is--
Ah!
[LAUGHTER]
--a mobile.
Are you serious?
HOST: This is good stuff too. This is--
Are you joking? HOST: --not decorative.
No, this is--
Oh my god.
--all for you--
This is for me?
- Have whatever you like. - For me, Kumail?
- You can eat all of those-- - I can have this?
- --if you want. - Are you serious?
We got you--
Guillermo got you a pizza, too. KUMAIL NANJIANI: It's pizza!
Oh! PIZZA MAN: Here, yeah.
KUMAIL NANJIANI: Are you kidding?
Are you really serious?
Yes, yes, so feel free to enjoy.
Oh, oh.
I--I--I-- I'm literally gonna cry right now.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm not joking.
I'm glad I could do this with you.
Oh my god.
[APPLAUSE]
HOST: Wow.
I think I saw a tremble.
I'm shaking.
This is the [MUTED].
[HOST LAUGHS]
Hey, pizza's really good!
HOST: Yeah.
So-- - Oh my god.
You know what we'll do.
We'll take a break.
And during the commercial, try to eat all this stuff.
Kumail Nanjiani is here.
"Little America" is his new show.
We'll be right back.
[APPLAUSE]
SALESMAN: That's a 10 gallon, cattle man,
gosh, cutter, brick, gambler.
What you looking for?
I want the hat that is strongest.
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
BYSTANDER: Now that's the one.
That's the one.
This is the price?
That is the "Little America" by Kumail Nanjiani,
who's got a lot of treats here.
Don't worry. We'll wrap that.
You can take a doggy bag, and you can take all of this home.
What's that?
I've been looking at this cheesecake.
Is that the one that you have your eye on?
No, the one I'm most excited about is that.
So I'm trying to save it.
Oh yeah, build up to it.
Wouldn't it have been great if somehow you gained,
like, 30 pounds during the commercial?
Dude, I--
[LAUGHTER]
I've been terrified for a year that I'm
gonna sneeze and, like, lose it like it's
some great dream I've had.
But I want to talk about that show, "Little America,"
which you executive produce.
It is a great show.
My wife and I watched a bunch of them this weekend,
and I love the idea of the show, too, which is they're
true stories about immigrants.
And where did these stories come from?
So the other show, that anthology show, about--
they're based on true stories of immigrants
who've moved to America.
And there's this magazine--
"Epic Magazine."
They've been collecting stories--
[LAUGHTER]
--of real immigrants that came here.
And then they contacted us, and they were like this
could be a good TV show.
And we were like, yeah, it'll be a great show.
And, um, what are we talking about?
We're talking about your show.
And so, yeah, it's basically eight different episodes,
all based on real stories of people
who have moved to America set over,
you know, all different time periods.
With a lot of famous actors and actors
from all over the world.
Oh, they're actors from all over the world,
yeah, because we really wanted it to be
authentic to the people who--
you know, the characters that they're playing.
We wanted them to speak the language
that the characters speak.
So we really, like, sort of found a lot of great people.
I love that you're just eating right now.
I don't think I've ever had this experience
where someone's just eating throughout the interview.
It's--
You don't understand. HOST: Oh.
[LAUGHS]
I'm lit-- I'm, like, shaking. HOST: I could see that.
I'm so excited.
I noticed your hand was trembling.
My heart is beating so fast.
You know, a couple of years ago, I was--
my wife and I made a movie called "The Big Sick"--
HOST: Yes, "The Big Sick." - --that was about--
HOST: It was a great movie.
People who don't know-- my wife was in a coma,
and we didn't know what was gonna happen.
And I remember very specifically the day.
We were, like, is she gonna make it?
Is she gonna make it?
And I remember when I got to the hospital one of those days
and went in, and she was up and sitting on her bed.
I'm happier right now.
[LAUGHTER]
Kumail Nanjiani, everyone.
He will soon be in a food coma so-- but watch his show.
It's called "Little America."
It's available now on Apple TV+.
We'll be right back with Sting.