-You look great, by the way. -Oh, thank you.
-You look fa-- You go to the gym all the time.
-Yeah, I go to the gym.
You and I have had these conversations many times.
-I have done -- Yes, I've asked you.
-And I don't like having the conversation with you.
-I stopped bringing it up, really.
-I know. 'Cause Jimmy would say,
"You know, I -- I want to start going to the gym."
-Yeah. -You always say that to me.
Yeah. "How do you get in shape?
I want to start going to the gym."
Like, "Oh. Well, go." You know?
[ Laughter ]
And he goes, "I don't really want to go."
-Yeah. -But you want to go.
He says, "Yes, I want to go."
So what I think you're saying is, you want to want to go.
Right? That's what you want. You want to want to go.
-That's correct. Right. So, go.
"I don't want to go." He says, "I don't want to."
-Yeah, I don't want to go, but I want to want to go.
-You want to want to go. -I should go.
-Have you ever gone? "No. Not one time."
-No, I don't do that. I have -- I have a thing.
I have equipment. -You have a thing.
Everybody's got it. -Yeah, I got a thing.
-But I go, "Maybe there's a trick.
Maybe there's a pill. Maybe there's --"
-No, not going to the gym is the easiest thing
in the world there is to do.
What do you have to do? You let time go by, you go,
"Well, I can't go now." [ Laughter ]
"I was gonna go, but I can't -- I can't go."
-No. Oh, my god.
Well, I heard you recently had a birthday.
-No. [ Laughter ]
-I thought I saw you turned 67.
-No, I am 67. -Oh, happy birthday.
-And I know that's -- I apologize for the shock value
of the number. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. But, you know,
it just took a long time to -- Show business is hard, you know?
It always takes longer than people think,
you know, to be a comedian and to go on --
I had to go on "The Tonight Show"
and "Letterman" like 80 times,
and then roast my nuts doing a TV series for nine years,
and then I had to get married. I got married at 45.
That takes a long time to find a great person.
And then I had three kids.
I had to straighten their insane asses out.
And then, I had to make a movie with a bee and --
[ Cheers and applause ] -That's --
-You know, all those things take time.
And I apologize for what seems to be a certain uncomfortable,
subtle sexual aspect of "The Bee Movie,"
which really was not intentional.
Um, but after it came out,
I realized, "This is really not appropriate for children."
No, it's not. -No, it's not -- interesting.
-Because the bees seem to have a thing for the girl.
-Yeah. -You know, and we don't
really want to pursue that as an idea
in children's entertainment.
-No, of course not. Yeah.
-So, anyway, but those things take time,
and that's why I'm 67. -Yeah.
Well, whenever your birthday comes up...
-Yeah. It'll come around.
-First! -Yeah.
-You know what I'm saying? -Yeah.
-First, yeah. -Well, you know, when people
remember some old, out-of-it thing?
Old people do this. They remember some old,
out-of-it thing, and they go, "I don't want to date myself."
"I don't want to date my--" Yeah, don't date yourself.
We can't tell with your triple-X wide
light-gray New Balance and the -- and the --
[ Laughter ]
You know, the -- the guy with the paddles going, "Clear!"
-Yeah, we can't tell you. Yeah, you date yourself.
-"We thought you were 28." [ Laughter ]
-I'm so sorry. I heard that you --
that you had a burglary.
-I didn't. I did not, no.
-This is a bizarre piece of paper.
Yeah. Maybe that's for the next guest.
-But I see that -- I see that Ring doorbell commercial,
and I don't understand -- Don't they --
Aren't the crooks watching these commercials, too?
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
So they know the trick.
I mean, why am I pretending I'm there?
The crook knows I'm not there yet.
So I'm just using the phone, so they're gonna go,
"Okay. We'll ring the bell.
They say they're there. We say, 'Okay, come on out.'
You come out, we'll leave. You're not, we rob you."
[ Laughter ]
-That's exactly correct. -"You enjoy your vacation.
We like robbing. Let's stay out of each other's way."
-Yeah. I want to --
I want to talk to you about "Seinfeld" on Netflix.
-Yeah, this is a big, exciting thing.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Congratulations.
I want to -- I want to talk a lot about it,
so let's talk about it after the break.
-Okay. -Here we go.
More with Jerry Seinfeld when we come back, everybody.