You know, I always think it's some sort of mistake
that they get that excited with me.
Uh-huh.
What are you so excited about?
All right, whatever.
Yeah.
[CHEERING]
Thank you, thank you.
All good.
They know who you are, they like you,
that's why they're excited.
You're a very funny guy.
Last time you were here I had so much fun with you
and then I heard I made it into your stand up act.
You did and I'm sorry.
I didn't know how to react to it.
Because when I was here, I commented,
you gave all these ladies TVs.
You said, you want a TV?
And I said, yeah sure.
And then they gave me a box that was empty.
And then when we were backstage they said,
oh, we'll send it to you.
OK great.
I never got it.
No?
[LAUGHTER]
So I never got it.
So I would ask my stand up audiences, what do I do?
And then you know what I thought of doing?
Calling up like the Consumer Reports people
on like the local news and have them investigate
as to what happened to my TV.
You should have done that.
I should.
You should have for sure done that.
I also thought, I said, can you imagine if I call the show
and they walk into Ellen's office and go,
hey Jeff Garland wants his TV.
I imagine you'd go, what?
What are you even talking about?
You wouldn't remember.
No I wouldn't remember but I would say send him his TV.
I mean, that's what I would have said.
Yeah.
Yeah it's too late now.
So hey congratulations, you were nominated for a Screen Actors
Guild award and Producers--
Guild award.
That's fantastic.
A lot of guilds.
Yeah.
That offer awards.
That's great, congratulations.
You've hosted the Oscars and the Emmys.
You've done both.
Yes.
OK.
I always find it quite, everything's based on the host,
OK?
Because the host makes the evening.
You're so funny, the whole thing,
I've told you a million times how funny you are.
And the show is based on the host for me.
Because they're boring.
All right, so my son I asked him one time,
do you want to go with dad?
Cause my kids don't care what I do.
Do you want to go with dad to the Emmys?
Who's hosting?
I said it was the reality show hosts are all hosting.
He said no thank you.
And then you also hear, Best Actress for example, OK.
And the Best Actress says I'm shocked, I can't believe it.
Isn't it one out of five?
[LAUGHTER]
So what are you shocked?
Yeah, well.
If it was a lottery of things that I won I would be like,
oh, I won.
Look at me.
You know who should be shocked?
A lady watching the Academy Awards
in Mobile, Alabama who's folding her laundry when she's
announced as Best Actress.
Yes.
[LAUGHTER]
She should be the one who says, oh my god, I was shocked.
Yeah.
I'm not even an actor.
I wasn't even in a movie.
And I won.
I'm shocked, this is shocking.
Not someone who is there who knows
there's a one in five chance.
All right
I know, I get a little excited.
Settle down.
[CLAPPING]
So hey congratulations.
The Goldbergs, you've done over 100 episodes.
You were picked up again.
Yes.
[CLAPPING]
Yes, it's very exciting.
I love doing the show because people love it.
Yes.
People love that show.
I was just in London.
People come up to me all the time,
ask me to pull my pants down.
[LAUGHTER]
My character does that.
Yes, I understand.
Yes.
That would be a weird thing to walk around London
and people go, you know it's a local custom.
Please pull your pants down.
Right.
Or just because they want to see you pull--
not even a custom.
But no, the show is very popular and that's
why it keeps getting picked up.
That is the reason why.
That would be the reason why.
They don't pick up shows that nobody watches.
No, they don't.
Oddly enough.
Hey, I don't want to leave here disappointed today
so I have something for you.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERING]
Oh no.
Oh my God.
You've got the box.
I've already got the box.
Actually, I don't have the box.
You guys kept that too.
[LAUGHTER] You
Wow, thank you.
That's yours and that's how you're going to get it home.