Battles with a demon.
Prayers with a goddess,
& a super dope roadtrip.
We've got it all, on this episode of:
Gilgamesh and Friend!
*banjo solo*
*Theme Music*
When we last left off, basically everyone was telling Gilgamesh that going to fight Humbaba was a really bad idea..
but Gilgamesh was all like: But I really wanna kill him though, dudes; Because seeing how Humbaba was still very much alive,
It meant that nobody had killed him yet, which in turn meant Gilgamesh could do something
no one else had ever done. of course by that logic
Of course, by that logic
he could have just literally killed anybody else that was still alive, or really just probably brushed his teeth
But who am I to gainsay heroes?
So, Gilgamesh went off to get some sweet buffs before killing the giant guardian of the forest of the gods.
& what might be the best buff of them all you might ask?
A blessing from the gods.
So he dragged his new friend and wrestling buddy Enkidu to meet his mom,
and Gilgamesh's mom the goddess Queen Ninsun was all like:
Ah, you look nice today, honey. Who's your little friend?
So Giglamesh introduced Enkidu and said:
*ugh* Mom, can you just like, intercede with the gods for us,
*sigh* Okay, honey.
she said, and proceeded to take seven baths of tamarisk and soapwort.
because; Hey, baths are super relaxing ,and be, gods just seemed to like you better if you bathe for some reason
So, I mean that's just two birds with one stone right there.
Afterward, she got on her best gown, went up to the roof, grabbed a sensor and said:
Shamash, why did you have to make my son so proud?
and after guilt-tripping the Great God Shamash for a while basically extorted a blessing to help Gilgamesh out..
but the way it was phrased though, it sort of sounded like the blessing was for her family. So being very clever she was like:
Wild boy Enkidu, come here. I'm just going to adopt you real quick.
And BOOM.
Gilgamesh and Enkidu were brothers.
So the brothers mesh went off to do some monster slaying. It was a long way to the forest of the Cedars but being
*echoing voice* HEROES OF LEGEND
They walked a hundred and fifty miles a day closing the distance in little time then on the third day when they rested
enkidu made a house of the dream god air quotes
Which we'll assume for the wholesome nature of this show is entirely substance free. Ok
Alright once completed Gilgamesh went inside crashed hard and proceeded to have prophetic dreams
The next morning he woke screaming. Oh god
Oh god a mountain fell on us bro, but Enkidu was all like, whoa, don't worry, man
It's a good omen
the mountain was totally Humbaba and you were capturing him from underneath not being crushed by him at all dude
and Gilgamesh never the sharpest cookie in the box was like oh
Cool and took Enkidu's explanation at face value
Three days later though. He went back into the house of the dream God again, and he awoke once more crying dude, dude, dude
Dude, dude this time
I was
Wrestling a bull right but it kicked up like so much dust that the world turned black and it forced me to my knees
But then like a handsome bro came up to me and gave me a nice drink
So I don't know what to think bro ever the pragmatist Enkidu replied?
Woah Rad dude!
Good omen the bull was totally our protector shamash and the dude was totally your dad
Gilgamesh once again come they walked on and three days after that it was of course back into mr. Magics
Happy Hut for Gilgamesh this time he woke up trembling
The heavens screamed the earth shook
Lighting rended the sky and Fire burned the ground dude!
And when the fire flared it rained death and all that was left in the world was cinders
Bro, and Enkidu positive as always replied sweet throats good omen, bro
Because that dream was the most metal one yet
And once again, they went on their way
Now this dream diary stuff happens twice more, on sections of tablet that have largely become a fine powder by this point.
But it's safe to assume that Gilgamesh had
More dreams of ever escalating terror which Enkidu let him know were totally about his success good wingman there
Finally they near the forest of Cedars
Gilgamesh cries out to shamash for eight and shamash tells him that he better go right now and smash Humbaba
Because while the giant usually wears seven layers of armor, he's only sporting one right now. He must have just woken up so
so These two heroes being mighty men of manly mine
Spring right into action, but even as they leap to fight the giant fear grips Enkidu
How can they win against such a powerful beast?
But Gilgamesh tells him that they'll win with the power of teamwork because that's how a team works
and so they rush off again and finally
encounter Humbaba who opens up with some really serious smack talk about how Enkidu doesn't even know who his mom is and
Therefore is only worthy to talk to turtles who in this universe apparently don't know who their mother is either
Sure, okay, but then once the tuff turtle talk is done. It's time for weird face contortions. That's right
not a fight yet says it on the tablet Humbaba makes his ropey wormy face even more hideous and
Gilgamesh is like nope. Nope. Nope, nope. Nope. That's it. I'm out, dude
Peace and Books it for the hills
but Enkidu stops him and
Reminds him of the power of teamwork and how that's how a team works and also about the really sweet weapons. They'd forged
Confidence returned again. They go back to fight the giant as the fight finally begins
Shamash true to his word gets in on the action and summons the 13 winds to buffett the giant and keep him from moving
then the heroes of legend kick around the much less mobile Humbaba for a bit until
He admits defeat and offers to serve Gilgamesh now
Gilgamesh is about to take him up on this offer when we get a bunch of tablet fragments that just have Enkidu saying
grind up kill
pulverize
over and over again or in some translations I kid you not he says
pretty sure
So while we don't know exactly what happens
It appears that that persuasive argument won the day and Gilgamesh promptly lopped off Humbaba's head to take back as a trophy
then they spent a lot of time chopping down a cedar from the forest of the gods and
Talking about what a really sweet door
They were gonna make and with the thrilling home renovation portion of the tale over
Thus ends the story of Gilgamesh's quest for Humbaba
One ogre dead one set of door materials obtained and the power of teamwork
Once again proving to be the strongest power of them all. Ah
Well, that and a god who can summon the thirteen winds to your aid
That's right furry bro friendships the best
Sure "bro" whatever you say
*Music*