I want everybody to have fun tonight, but please be safe.
If you find yourself disoriented or confused, it's either you're drunk or
Marjorie Taylor Greene.
>> [LAUGH] >> I gotta say, President Joe Biden's
performance at the White House correspondence dinner was pretty good.
Pretty good, whoever wrote his jokes did a decent job, and
I particularly enjoyed that jab at Marjorie Greene.
Before we go to some more examples of Dark Brandon at the White House correspondence
dinner, I do wanna ask you, Cenk, what did you think about it?
>> Yeah, so first of all, some of the jokes were top notch.
We'll share some of those with you guys.
Remember, the politicians don't write these, but they do okay them.
They green light them, they look at them, etc.
Well, with Trump, you never know.
But Biden give him credit for saying, yeah, I like these jokes.
Let's go with these jokes.
And the delivery on eight out of ten of them were pretty good.
But I watched his whole speech that included good, important,
serious stuff about journalism.
He sometimes feels like Fire Marshall, and
he's got the garbled way of speaking that he just does too often.
I'm tired of it, and I start to think about his dentures.
>> Okay. >> Okay, so
I'm just being honest with you guys.
The jokes were good.
The whole thing itself still had some Biden moments, so
that's the reality of it.
But, all right, let's give him the rest.
>> So we're just gonna show you the highlights where he looks good,
because the person who wrote the jokes did a good job.
So, he didn't just go after Marjorie Greene,
he did also go after Republicans, generally speaking.
So let's watch that.
>> Ron DeSantis, I had a lot of Ron DeSantis jokes ready.
>> [LAUGH] >> But
Mickey Mouse beat the hell out of me, got there first.
>> [LAUGH] [APPLAUSE] >> Hello Lord,
can't be too rough on the guy.
After his reelection as governor, he was asked if he had a mandate.
He said, hell no, I'm straight.
>> [LAUGH] >> I'm straight.
>> [LAUGH] >> The speaker is trying to claim a big
win this week, but
the last time Republicans voted on something that hapless, it took 15 tribes.
>> [LAUGH] >> Roy is a great guy.
He once dubbed me the Jay Z of Delaware.
>> [LAUGH] >> Don't let that look in your face
you did.
>> [LAUGH] >> Tonight he asked me to keep it short.
Even offered me $10 if I'd keep it under ten minutes.
That's a switch a president being offered hush money.
>> [LAUGH] [APPLAUSE]
>> I feel like presidents in the past or
candidates for president have been offered,
they wouldn't call it hush money [LAUGH].
But if there are campaign donations that want presidential candidates to shut their
mouths about certain policy that would impact corporate donors,
that's a different story.
But anyway, not to get too serious about it,
my favorite joke in that little compilation was the jab at Kevin McCarthy.
>> Yeah. >> So good,
voted something as hapless 15 times.
>> Yeah, the Mickey Mouse joke got too many laughs.
I didn't think it was that great, but some good ones in there.
But I like the ones against the media the most.
>> Yeah, okay, so we're gonna go to that next, let's watch.
>> You might think I don't like Rupert Murdoch.
That's simply not true.
How could I just like a guy who makes me look like Harry Styles?
>> [LAUGH] >> You same over the hill.
Don Lemon would say that's a man who's prime.
>> [LAUGH] >> I love NPR.
[APPLAUSE] >> Because they whisper into the mic
like I do.
>> [LAUGH] >> But not everybody loves NPR.
Elon Musk tweeted that it should be defunded.
Well, the best way to make NPR go away is Elon Musk to buy it.
>> [LAUGH] >> We really have a record to be proud of.
Vaccinated the nation, transformed the economy,
earned historic legislative victories and midterm results.
But the job isn't finished.
It is finished for Tucker Carlson.
>> [LAUGH] >> I'd call Fox honest, fair, and
truthful.
But then I could be sued for defamation.
>> [LAUGH] >> I hope the Fox News team
finds this funny.
My goal is to make them laugh as hard as CNN did when they read the settlement.
>> [LAUGH] >> But then again, CNN was,
wow, they actually have $787 million.
>> [LAUGH] >> All right, it was all right.
>> Yeah, no, there's a bunch I liked in there.
I like the defamation line about Fox News, and
they don't usually get that spicy about Fox News.
So look at Biden.
>> Dark Brandon comes out to play.
>> Yeah, but that Tucker line might come back to haunt him.
I'll just tell you Obama did a line about Donald Trump, and
he was at the White House correspondence dinner.
When he was doing all that birth certificate nonsense, and
they showed Trump and then everybody laughed and laughed at him, right?
>> And Trump held a grudge.
>> Yeah, and shocking that Trump held a grudge, but now you don't know how
much of a factor it was, of course, and it was probably a tiny factor.
But there is reporting that Trump hated that so
much that it made him wanna get into politics more.
So him like Biden saying, Tucker is done.
Not sure we know that yet.
Okay, so let's hold on that one.
>> Also, the guy who seems to have an affinity for whispering things
into the mic, he referenced that when he talked about how much he loves NPR and
how they whisper into the mics.
But he should have whispered into the mic as he was telling the joke.
He didn't, he leaned into the mic and spoke normally [LAUGH].
>> For the first time ever, whenever he leans into the mic, he whispers.
That was the time to whisper.
>> Perfect opportunity to whisper.
And it would make sense to do it, but he didn't do it [LAUGH].
>> But look, guys, overall, about the White House correspondence dinner, and
I've gone to it a couple of times,
if it was the exception I've said this many times, but if it was the exception.
And that's the one night that the press and the politicians get along.
I would love it. I would say, that's good.
One night where you're not at war, right?
>> Yeah. >> But the problem is,
it isn't the exception, it's the rule.
Press and the politicians are totally in bed together.
So when they all get dressed up and
they all go together and lightly rib each other, it doesn't feel as fun.
And Stephen Colbert,
the reaction that he got to a brilliant roasting of George W Bush.
And the media shows you, no, if you're there to actually criticize someone,
they don't want any piece of it.
It's gotta be light ribbing like this.
>> Now, final video.
Biden also decided to poke fun at himself.
So let's take a look at that.
>> I believe in the First Amendment,
not just because my good friend Jimmy Madison wrote it.
>> [LAUGH] >> A lot of ways this dinner sums up my
first two years in office.
I'll talk for ten minutes, take zero questions, and cheerfully walk away.
>> [LAUGH] >> I get that age is completely reasonable
issue.
It's in everybody's mind and everyone.
By everyone, I mean the New York Times.
>> [LAUGH] >> Headline,
Biden's advanced age is a big issue.
Trump's, however, is not.
>> I think that the age of both individuals is an issue,
especially with the way that they carry themselves and handle the job.
Just keeping it real.
>> Yeah, later he made a reference to the New York Times Pitchbot, and
that's when you knew for sure he was not writing the jokes.
>> 1000%.
>> I don't know if he asked seven times what the New York Times Pitchbot was or
he was, I'II Just read it, who cares?
I did like the Jimmy Madison joke.
That was funny.
And then at that very, very end of the speech, by the way,
he put on the sunglasses and made a reference to Dark Brand.
So, at least he's self aware in a way.
>> At least his joke writer is self aware [LAUGH].
>> But he read them, so he's willing to poke fun at himself.
And Trump wouldn't do this stuff because he hated making fun out of himself.
>> Yeah. >> And that's cuz he's a tiny,
tiny little man, okay?
So we're not huge fans of Biden here, but pretty good job overall.
And as usual, Biden's one saving grace.
Always better than Trump.