Comparison to others is the killer of self–worth. But we do it anyway.
We can’t help it. It is a social mechanism. We look at our peers
and evaluate how well they are doing in life so we can know how well we are doing.
It is a trap. A terrible illusion that harms our sense of self.
You can’t really compare yourself to others, because others aren’t you.
They didn’t have the parents you had. They didn’t grow up in your house with the
rules you had to abide by. Most of them didn’t attend your school or
had your job. But even the ones who did had a different experience going through it.
Every single experience you had in your life, shaped you in a way that was completely different
from the diverse ways other people were shaped. You, like everyone else in the world, are
unique. A fair comparison is never possible. Comparison to others is a disservice to the
person you are today. It most likely will make you feel inadequate.
Most people compare themselves to people who are ahead of them in the journey of success.
They see that person who ran a marathon, or who got a million dollar on a business, got
first prize in a competition and think “why haven’t I achieved anything like that? I
must be worthless.” The truth is, this person is not worthless.
They are just impatient. They didn’t stop to consider that these
people have been where they are right now. At the beginning of the journey. Still with
no accomplishments. And this idea of progress on a journey or
the stage you are in life has nothing to do with age.
Everyone has their own time. Some people will get married in their twenties
and others in their forties. Some will make it into the richest under 30
lists, and others will become millionaires when they are sixty.
Some will die when they’re 35 and others when they’re 90.
Some will try something for the first time when they’re eight, and others when they’re
eighty. There is not a right time for you to have
what you want. As long as you are alive, there is time.
It is really a matter of time. You just have to be patient.
That person who achieved success at twenty is not necessarily better than you are.
They might have grown up with the right circumstances, or been at the right place at the right time.
And above all, I want you to remember something. I want you to remember that just because people
have already achieved success, it doesn’t mean that you won’t.
Success is not a limited feature that only some can attain before it runs out.
It is available for everyone who is willing to go after it.
Everyone who is willing to give all they’ve got.
To become better. To expand their limits.
And to have the patience to see their label give fruits.
Success is a matter of intention and effort. It is not limited.
And it is not restricted. The only thing that can stop you from achieving
success is yourself. But you may be wondering that despite all
that’s been said here, some level of comparison is inevitable.
That your mind will do it before you can stop it.
And to some degree that is true. You can’t change your instant thoughts on
something. But you can change how you feel about it.
And what you do about it. Maybe one day you’re trying to do something
to no avail until someone comes along and does it effortlessly.
At that moment you have a choice. You can either choose to see it as evidence
that you are unworthy and will always be so, or you can choose to see it as an inspiration.
It is awesome that there are people who know more than you do. That means you can learn
from them. It means you have something and someone to
aspire to. And that will always be true.
Because even if you are able to surpass the person who inspired you in your field of work,
there will be thousands of other people who are better than you in countless fields.
And that is no shame. You can’t nor should be the best at everything.
But you should be the best version of yourself on what you want to do.
Life is beautiful. It is full of things to learn and to enjoy. And that is what makes
it fun. What would be the fun if you were born already
knowing everything? What would you do?
How would you challenge yourself to grow? What we don’t know is the measure of how
much better we can become. When you see someone who is better than you
at something, don’t see them as a threat or as a statement of your failure.
See them as an inspiration to evolve. And see your acknowledgment of that as a challenge
for you to become the best version of yourself. Because that is all that you can do.
The only person you should really compare yourself to is yourself.
You are the only one who has your strength and your experiences.
You are the only one who has been through the situations that made you who you are today.
You are the only one who felt your pain, your laughter, your tears, your joy, your despair,
and everything else that comes with being human.
And if you paid attention to life, you know that you are better today than you were yesterday.
You know that the hardship you endured made you discover a resilience within you never
thought you had. You know that the first time you did something
you kind of sucked at it, but you eventually got better.
You know that as long as you stick to something, you can get better at it.
That’s how you learned to walk. That’s how you learned to talk.
That’s how you got everything you have today. And even if it is not much, nor everything
you want to have, it is still something. It is proof that things can change.
You can change. If you compare yourself to your yesterday
self. If you ask, what can I do today better than
I did yesterday? It doesn’t need to be something big.
Not at first. It just has to be something.
Something to show that you accomplished a little more today.
And then a little more. Then a little bit more.
And soon, the number of small changes will turn into big changes.
The little bit you improved every day is a huge mountain when you look back at one year
ago. You almost can’t recognize yourself.
Things that you didn’t know how to do, things you did with immense difficulty are now easy.
They are now part of your everyday. And all of that because you were consistent
with your effort. All of that because instead of trying to be
like others, you tried to be the best you could be.
Don’t waste any more time dwelling on why other people have what you don’t have.
Whether it is looks, a specific talent, or material possessions.
That thinking will only hold you back. Instead, start investing in yourself.
Start focusing on what you can become if you look only within and transform all your potential
into actuality. You have everything you need to succeed.
You just have to trust it. Trust that you are enough.
Trust that you are amazing. Trust that only you can be the best you.
And that much is enough to change the world. It is enough to get everything you want.
So, wake up. You still have time, but life won’t wait
while you decide. The power to become the best version of yourself
is within you. Use it.
And see the wonders that unfold.