Alright, let me tell the people at home
what's going on, okay?
We are taping here at the Largo Theater,
the historic Largo Theater,
in La Cieniga Boulevard,
in Los Angeles, West Hollywood.
And, you know, we come to this theater
because we thought theaters are in trouble,
let's revive a theater,
let's keep it going.
Seemed like a nice thing to do.
[Andy] Right. Right?
What happens?
We get here this morning,
and we find out that someone broke in to our little theater
and took some of our equipment!
Some of the equipment we use to make the show.
We got robbed, Andy!
Robbed!
Who would've thought?
[Conan] Yeah. You would have thought
that the minute they came in
and saw Conan on anything,
they would've been like
"no, c'mon,
"he's one of the good guys."
[Conan] Yes. Let's go break into
someone else's spot, yeah.
Yeah, and whoever broke in here
had to stare what I think is about 350 cardboard cutouts
of exuberant fans in the eyes
and say, "hey,
"don't mind me, I'm gonna steal some shit."
Wow, imagine if the robber was still here.
[Conan] Yeah. Just sitting here quietly
in all the cutouts, oops.
The robber probably,
we probably walked in and the robber just went-
(laughter)
Robber's here somewhere, I don't know who it is.
I wanna ask our field producer.
He's been with me almost since day one,
and he holds the show together,
Jason Chillemi, I call him Chills
or Chilly Willy, as he prefers.
Jason, what did they take exactly?
They got a couple of laptops.
Laptops?
I mean, they took our laptops.
That's just the lowest.
What's that?
It's how we do our interviews.
That's how we do the interviews.
We do the interviews on Zoom.
They ripped off our laptops!
What else did they take? They took our slate.
Okay, whenever we make a show,
Jason steps in and does a slate.
This thing, you've seen it all the time.
It's been around since the beginning of movies
where they go "and."
You know, "here we go."
They took that!
That's the lowest!
I can't think of anything lower.
Okay, the laptops fine,
you took the slate?
Yeah I know.
That's crazy.
No, you know what I was thinking about?
Look at us!
What happened to us?
This kind of shit isn't happening
to other big time late night shows.
No one breaks in to the Tonight Show
and steals all the equipment.
What happened to us?
We've become this garage band that drives around.
We got our van, and we parked in an alley
and someone broke in and took our amps!
[Andy] Right. What is that?
This doesn't happen to the other talk show hosts.
This would never happen to Kimmel or Fallon
or any of those guys.
No one breaks in,
"what happened?"
"We couldn't do a show today."
"What happened?"
"They broke in and took our shit, man.
"They took our shit while we were sleeping."
(laughter)
What kind of new low is this for us?
And then who do I have to bitch,
what's our security?
Our security is a bunch of photographs.
(laughter) Cardboard photographs of fans
from across the country.
Jason, you've been with me for like 27 years.
You gotta admit this is a new low.
It is a new low.
(laughter)
"Hey man, there's gonna be no Late Show tonight,"
says Colbert.
"No Late Show tonight."
"What happened?"
"They broke in to the Ed Sullivan,
"they stole our shit, man."
They stole my desk. (laughter)
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, whoever you are-
(laughter)
Man, just for the laugh alone,
maybe it's worth it.
Right right.
Enjoy the laptops.
Yeah, what's the robber gonna do with this thing?
[Andy] I don't know.
What?
And he probably was like,
"and that's a robbery!" Clack!
And it wasn't like a battery one that was like synced.
It was just like wood.
Yes, it's what kids use.
It's what 16 year olds use to make a student film.
Or that you can go buy on Hollywood Boulevard.
You can buy them.
Probably in Hollywood, they're on the street.
They're everywhere, and he took it!
It's ridiculous!
I think we got ours at a souvenir shop.
Suddenly this show that I've been working on for 27 years
is a Nissan Sentra.
(laughter) It's a 1995 Nissan Sentra.
They took the air conditioning right out.
I put a blanket over the stuff.
I didn't think anyone would notice.