>>>
>>> WE
>>> WE OFTEN HEAR RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD.
ARE HARD.
ARE HARD. THEY TAKE WORK TO MAINTAIN, BUT
WHY IS THAT?
IF YOU ARE WITH THE ONE YOU
LOVE, WHY DOES IT REQUIRE WORK
TO STAY THERE?
WE DECIDED THIS WAS A GREAT ONE
TO DIVE INTO WITH CAST MEMBERS
FROM "LOVE IS BLIND", MARK
CUEVAS AND LAUREN SPEED.
OF COURSE WITH CARA KNEER.
FOR ANYONE JUST TUNING IN,
THIS IS NETFLIX'S HOTTEST SHOW.
THE FINALE JUST DROPPED AT 3:00
A.M.
A.M.
A.M. THIS
A.M. THIS MORNING.
THIS MORNING. WE DON'T WANT TO GIVE ANYTHING
AWAY, BUT IN THE SHOW, A QUICK
RECAP FROM ONE OF YOU FOR
PEOPLE JUST TUNING IN.
>> THE SHOW IS BASICALLY A
DATING SHOW WHERE YOU GO AND
TRY TO MAKE A CONNECTION WITH
SOMEONE WITHOUT EVER SEEING
THEM.
THEM.
THEM. IT
THEM. IT EVOLVES INTO AN ENGAGEMENT
AND POSSIBLY A MARRIAGE.
>> POSSIBLY A MARRIAGE.
WE WON'T GIVE ANYTHING AWAY.
YOU CAN TALK ABOUT THIS WITH
CURRENT EXPERIENCES IN MIND OR
PRIOR ONES.
PRIOR ONES. BECAUSE THEY MAKE US WHO WE ARE
TODAY.
TODAY.
TODAY. >>
TODAY. >> ABSOLUTELY.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS
ONE, THAT RELATIONSHIPS AREN'T
SUPPOSED TO BE WORK?
ISN'T IF IT IS WORTH SOMETHING
--
--
-- >>
-- >> YOU
-- >> YOU GROW UP AND YOU ARE AT
THE AGE WHERE YOU START TO
THINK ABOUT MARRIAGE AND KIDS
AND ALL THIS STUFF.
THERE IS AN ADJUSTMENT OF, YOU
HAVE LIVED THIS LIFE YOUR
ENTIRE LIFE.
ENTIRE LIFE. I HAVE LIVED THIS MY ENTIRE
LIFE.
LIFE.
LIFE. HOW
LIFE. HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS WORK AND
CAN WE HAVE THIS BACK-AND-FORTH
CONVERSATION ABOUT IT?
SO I DON'T THINK IT IS BAD
WORK.
WORK.
WORK. I
WORK. I THINK IT IS JUST AN
ADJUSTMENT.
ADJUSTMENT. >> I LIKE THAT.
>> I FEEL LIKE ANYTHING WORTH
HAVING REQUIRES WORK.
WHETHER THAT IS RELATIONSHIPS,
A JOB YOU WANT, WHATEVER IT IS.
YOU HAVE TO WORK.
ESPECIALLY AT RELATIONSHIPS,
BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH
INVOLVED.
INVOLVED.
INVOLVED. >> SO MUCH.
FAMILY, FRIENDS, CAREER PATHS.
FINANCES AND HOW MANY KIDS YOU
WANT.
WANT.
WANT. >>
WANT. >> POLITICS.
>> POLITICS. >> EXACTLY.
>> EXACTLY. EVERYTHING COMES TOGETHER.
I WON'T SAY THIS WORK, BUT IF
YOU FIND THAT EMOTIONAL
CONNECTION, IT IS LIKE YOU
SAID, AND ADJUSTMENT.
>> IT IS REALLY A MIRACLE.
>> ALL THOSE THINGS IS CRAZY.
WITH RELATIONSHIPS, ESPECIALLY.
EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE A CHILD, I
REMEMBER HOLDING MY CHILD AND
BEING LIKE, I HOPE YOU'RE COOL.
I DON'T KNOW YOU.
IT IS THE SAME THING WHEN YOU
FORM A BOND WITH SOMEONE.
>> PIERPOINT, IT IS LIKE
EVERYTHING TEACHES US A LESSON
AND EVERY RELATIONSHIP, NO
MATTER WHETHER IT WORKS OUT OR
NOT, YOU BECOME WHO YOU ARE
NOW.
NOW.
NOW. YOU
NOW. YOU CAN'T REGRET IT.
>> SOME TOUGH LESSONS, TOO.
REALLY, WHY DID I DO THAT?
IT PREPARED ME FOR WHO I AM
NOW.
NOW.
NOW. >>
NOW. >> I
NOW. >> I AM GLAD YOU SAID THAT,
BECAUSE WATCHING YOURSELF BACK,
WAS THERE ANYTHING WHERE YOU
SAID I DIDN'T REALIZE I DID
THAT IN A RELATIONSHIP OR I
SHOULD PUMP THE BRAKES?
>> GOOD QUESTION.
>> I AM A HOPELESS ROMANTIC.
I WEAR MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE.
I WENT INTO IT BEING MYSELF AND
I DON'T THINK I LOOKED AT IT
LIKE I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID
THAT.
THAT.
THAT. I
THAT. I WENT INTO IT LIKE I WILL BE
MYSELF AND WHAT I FEEL IN THE
MOMENT.
MOMENT.
MOMENT. >> WHAT ABOUT YOU?
>> FOR ME, I HAVE TRUST ISSUES,
SO IT IS HARD FOR ME TO OPEN UP
AND TRUST SOMEONE.
I AM AFRAID OF BEING
DISAPPOINTED AND YOU SEE THAT
PLAY OUT, BECAUSE WHAT IF IT
DOESN'T WORK?
DOESN'T WORK? I FEEL LIKE WATCHING THAT BACK
WAS A LESSON TO ME, BECAUSE WE
TRY TO PROTECT OURSELVES.
DEFENSE MECHANISMS, BUT AT THE
END OF THE DAY IS IT HELPING US
OR HURTING US?
>> IN THIS ARTICLE, THEY ARE
BASICALLY SAYING RELATIONSHIPS
ARE HARD WORK AND HERE ARE A
FEW REASONS WHY AND SEE IF YOU
AGREE.
AGREE.
AGREE. THIS FIRST ONE I THINK YOU
SPOKE TO.
SPOKE TO.
SPOKE TO. YOU HAVE TO MAKE DECISIONS AS A
UNIT.
UNIT.
UNIT. IF
UNIT. IF YOU HAVE LIVED SINGLE.
I GOT MARRIED AT 37, MY HUSBAND
41.
41.
41. LIVING YOUR LIVES AS SINGLES,
CREATING YOUR OWN HABITS, DOING
AS YOU PLEASE.
ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU HAVE TO
MAKE DECISIONS TOGETHER.
AGAIN, I DON'T THINK THAT IS
NECESSARILY WORK, I THINK IT IS
CALLED COMPROMISE.
CALLED COMPROMISE. >> ABSOLUTELY.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> THIS IS JUST MY OPINION.
I THINK A GREAT RELATIONSHIP IS
TO INDIVIDUALS ON THEIR OWN
PATH TO COME TOGETHER AND FORM
THIS BEAUTIFUL THING OF NOT
JUST MUNICATION, BUT LOVE.
I AM DOING MY THING, I HAVE MY
CAREER, MY VIEWS, MY GOALS, BUT
I LOVE YOU FOR WHAT YOURS ARE
AND I RESPECT THAT.
YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, I AM WHO I
AM, BUT WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER IT
IS A COHESIVE BOND.
YOU DO COMPROMISE, BECAUSE I
RESPECT TO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU
BELIEVE AND WE ARE MOVING
FORWARD TOGETHER.
FORWARD TOGETHER. >> I THINK IT IS SO IMPORTANT.
THEY ARE YOUR BIGGEST
CHEERLEADER.
CHEERLEADER. IT IS CLICHE, BUT SOMEONE WHO
WANTS YOU TO BE THE BEST
VERSION OF YOURSELF.
>> LIKE WHAT YOU COULD BE.
NOT TRYING TO CHANGE YOU.
>> I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY, NOT
CHANGE, RIGHT.
CHANGE, RIGHT. >> BUT LOOK AT THIS, WHAT YOU
THINK OF THIS? THEN YOU ARE
LIKE, WOW.
LIKE, WOW. IT JUST OPENS YOUR PERSPECTIVE.
>> IT IS NOT IMPORTANT TO TRY
NOT TO CHANGE PEOPLE, MORE SO,
LET PEOPLE EVOLVE.
GROW.
GROW.
GROW. >>
GROW. >> AND YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING
TO SEE HOW THAT PLAYS OUT, LIKE
AN INTEREST AND HOBBY.
THE NEXT ONE I THINK IS SO
GOOD.
GOOD.
GOOD. WHY
GOOD. WHY DOES IT TAKE WORK?
BECAUSE THEY DON'T ALWAYS MEET
OUR EXPECTATIONS.
OUR EXPECTATIONS. WHEN IN LIFE IS EVERYTHING
PERFECT?
PERFECT?
PERFECT? A LOT OF US, I THINK WE GET SET
UP, ESPECIALLY THESE DAYS WITH
SOCIAL MEDIA.
SOCIAL MEDIA. IN THE COMMERCIAL BREAK MY
FRIEND SAID I LOVED YOUR GUEST,
SHE WATCHED THE SHOW, THAT I
LOVED HOW THEY WERE SPEAKING TO
BEING AUTHENTIC.
BEING AUTHENTIC. IN THIS DAY AND AGE IT IS SO
IMPORTANT.
IMPORTANT. NOT EVERYBODY WILL MEET OUR
NEEDS.
NEEDS.
NEEDS. >>
NEEDS. >> I THINK A LOT OF TIMES
EXPECTATION CREATES
EXPECTATION CREATES DISAPPOINTMENT.
DISAPPOINTMENT. IN YOUR MIND YOU ARE LIKE, THIS
PERSON NEEDS TO ACT THIS WAY
FOR ME TO LOVE THEM, BUT IN
REALITY THEY WILL BE WHO THEY
ARE.
ARE.
ARE. THE
ARE. THE OPTION IS CAN YOU MAKE THAT
CHOICE AND LOVE THEM FOR THOSE
OPTIONS?
OPTIONS?
OPTIONS? THAT IS WHERE A LOT OF PEOPLE
GET DISAPPOINTED, LIKE THEY
DIDN'T DO THIS HOW I ENVISIONED
IT, BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT LOVE
IS.
IS.
IS. >>
IS. >> IT'S TRUE.
YOU GUYS ARE WHAT VERY WISE.
>> WE ARE TRYING TO FIGURE THIS
OUT.
OUT.
OUT. >>
OUT. >> BY THE WAY, REMIND EVERYONE
HOW LONG YOU WERE ON THE SHOW,
KIND OF CUT OFF FROM FAMILY.
>> THE WHOLE PROCESS WAS
ACTUALLY ABOUT TWO MONTHS, BUT
THE POINT WHERE WE DIDN'T TALK
TO OUR FAMILIES WAS PROBABLY
ABOUT 10 DAYS TO A MONTH.
>> SO WE WERE 10 DAYS IN THE
PODS AND WE DIDN'T HAVE OUR
PHONES, THEN WE WENT ON
VACATION.
VACATION.
VACATION. SO ABOUT 15 DAYS THAT WE DIDN'T
TALK TO ANYBODY.
SO WE COULDN'T ASK FOR ADVICE
TO FIGURE IT OUT.
WHAT IS COOL IS WE LITERALLY
HAD TO GO INTO OURSELVES, LIKE
WHAT DO I WANT?
>> I LIKE THAT, VERY
INTROSPECTIVE AND NO ONE ELSE
TALKING.
TALKING.
TALKING. >> WHAT DO YOU WANT, NOT YOUR
FAMILY OR FRIENDS, BUT WHAT DO
YOU WANT?
YOU WANT?
YOU WANT? >> I LIKE THAT.
THERE WAS ONE COUPLE ON THE
SHOW, SPEAKING OF SOCIAL MEDIA,
IT WAS INTERESTING TO SEE WHEN
YOU GOT INTO THE REAL WORLD AND
SHE WAS VERY ADDICTED TO HER
PHONE.
PHONE.
PHONE. YOU COULD TELL THAT WAS A
STICKING POINT, BUT THAT WAS
SOMETHING YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE
NOTICED.
NOTICED.
NOTICED. >> ABSOLUTELY.
>> ABSOLUTELY. THERE ARE SO MANY FACTORS THAT
CAME INTO PLAY WHEN WE DID COME
INTO THE REAL WORLD.
FAMILY, FRIENDS, SOCIAL MEDIA,
WHATEVER THE CASE MAY BE.
IT IS A LOT.
>> EXACTLY.
>> EXACTLY. >> I WANT TO JUMP FOR THE SAKE
OF TIME.
OF TIME.
OF TIME. THE NEXT IS PEOPLE COME WITH
BAGGAGE.
BAGGAGE.
BAGGAGE. YOUR POINT AT THE BEGINNING,
EVERYONE IS CARRYING EMOTIONAL
BAGGAGE.
BAGGAGE.
BAGGAGE. THINGS WE ARE FORCED TO, AS
PART OF A COUPLE, TO RECONCILE
WITH.
WITH.
WITH. THAT IS A NO-BRAINER.
BUT YOUR POINT, YOU HAVE TO
REVEAL YOUR VULNERABILITY.
AND THAT IS NOT ALWAYS EASY.
>> NO, IT IS VERY HARD.
NOWADAYS WITH EVERYTHING
ONLINE, EVERYONE WANTS TO PUT
ON SOMETHING SO THAT PEOPLE
WILL BE IMPRESSED BY THEM.
SO BEING YOUR ACTUAL REAL SELF
AND OPENING YOURSELF UP TO BE
VULNERABLE, IT IS A TOUGH THING
AND IT IS HARD.
BUT YOU HAVE TO BE VULNERABLE.
TO LOVE SOMEONE PROPERLY AND TO
BE LOVED PROPERLY.
IF YOU'RE NOT THERE AND
INVESTED, IT IS NOT GOING TO
WORK.
WORK.
WORK. >>
WORK. >> I THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID
BEFORE ABOUT PROTECTING
SOMEONE.
SOMEONE.
SOMEONE. I THINK WE ARE SO SCARED TO
MESS UP.
MESS UP.
MESS UP. WHAT WILL MY FAMILY THINK IF I
MEET THIS PERSON AND IT DOESN'T
WORK OUT?
WORK OUT?
WORK OUT? I THINK LIKE WE TALKED ABOUT
BEFORE, EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS A
LESSON TO TEACH YOU WHO YOU
NEED TO BE.
SO YOU RELEASE THAT PROTECTIVE
NATURE YOU HAVE FOR YOURSELF
AND EVERYTHING GETS BETTER.
>> AT WHAT POINT IN THE SHOW
DID YOU SEE THEM TAKING OFF
THEIR MASK OF VULNERABILITY?
>> I THINK THAT IS WHY THEY
WERE BOTH CHOSEN TO DO THE
PRESS, BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE SO
AUTHENTIC AND REAL AND PROBABLY
WHY IT IS SUCCESSFUL AND WILL
BE FOR A LONG TIME.
I HOPE THAT FOR YOU BOTH, TOO.
IT IS FASCINATING.
I DON'T WANT TO CALL IT AN
EXPERIMENT.
EXPERIMENT. >> EXPERIENCE.
>> EXPERIENCE. >> IT IS REALLY INTERESTING TO
WATCH AND I THINK NOW, WITH SO
MUCH BEING ONLINE, THAT YOU
COULD REALLY LOCK YOURSELVES
AWAY.
AWAY.
AWAY. GO
AWAY. GO TO YOUR INNER SELVES.
>> WHAT YOU WANT, YOUR VALUES,
CHARACTER, EVERYTHING.
CHARACTER, EVERYTHING. HOW DOES THAT PERSON INTEGRATE
INTO YOUR LIFE?
>> HOW TO BE ALONE WITH YOURSELF
MENTALLY.
MENTALLY.
MENTALLY. IN THIS DAY AND AGE THERE ARE
SO MANY COMMITMENTS AND TIME
CONSTRAINTS, SO TO HAVE THAT
TIME WAS SO AWESOME.
>> ANOTHER REASON WHY
RELATIONSHIPS WORK AS THEY ARE
NOT NEW AND EXCITING FOREVER.
THIS PROCESS IS NEW AND
EXCITING, SO HOW DO YOU MAKE
SURE IT IS SUSTAINED?
AGAIN, WE CAN'T GIVE AWAY WHAT
IS HAPPENING.
IS HAPPENING. >> I FEEL LIKE WITH ANY
RELATIONSHIP IT IS IMPORTANT TO
CONTINUE EXPLORING AND
LEARNING.
LEARNING.
LEARNING. NEVER GET COMFORTABLE IN
WHATEVER YOU DO, WHETHER IT IS
A JOB, RELATIONSHIP, FRIENDSHIP,
YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TRY TO LEARN
MORE ABOUT THE PERSON AND MORE
ABOUT YOU.
ABOUT YOU. IT SHOULD BE A CONSTANT
JOURNEY, ALL THE TIME.
>> AND YOU'RE ALWAYS ASKING MY
OPINION, LIKE WHAT YOU WANT?
IN TERMS OF WHAT MAKES YOU
HAPPY, HOW CAN WE WORK
TOGETHER, PHYSICALLY OR
EMOTIONALLY, ASKING THOSE
QUESTIONS FOR BOTH SIDES,
BECAUSE A LOT OF TIMES PEOPLE
GET CAUGHT UP ON THE PHYSICAL
OR EMOTIONAL AND THEY DON'T
BRING THAT TOGETHER.
HOW CAN WE KEEP THAT FIRE
ALIVE, AND IN MY OPINION IT IS
BASED ON COMMUNICATION.
>> I LIKE HOW YOU SAID IT IS TO
PEOPLE WHO HAVE THEIR OWN
LIVES, WHICH I THINK IS SO
IMPORTANT.
IMPORTANT. YOU HAVE TO HAVE YOUR OWN
LIVES, YOUR OWN THINGS, BECAUSE
IF YOU BECOME TOO MESHED WITH
ONE ANOTHER THEN IT IS LIKE I
CAN'T STAND YOU.
>> VERY IMPORTANT.
>> SO MANY COUPLES WHO GOT
MARRIED YOUNGER, DIVORCING,
THEY STARTED TO FORGET AND LOSE
SIGHT OF WHO THEY WERE ON THEIR
OWN INDIVIDUAL JOURNEY AND
THEIR PATHS DIVERGED, RATHER