this is patina she fell in love with
Tavish she's always been patina in
Chaves then Bettina fell in love with
Adam I started talking to her and hit it
off
I'm Tavish fell in love with Annie
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within a year we were all living
together
Oh Annie and Adam I'm not in love and
neither a Bettina and Ellie oughta be
shadows it's not been easy for everyone
to understand the dynamic a man with
multiple female partners that's pretty
cool right but where if I have a
boyfriend or a husband and [ __ ] and
there have been concerns from those
closest to them as a family member yeah
I'm concerned that there's gonna be
tragedy or trauma
this court are getting fed up with
having to answer the same old questions
so we get asked weird question do we
have to do with stereotypes and
judgments how much time do we have
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welcome to our home so here we have the
best living room ever it's huge and cozy
we can fit a lot of people here at night
this is usually where we have our cuddle
pile and we play video games and have
family time we have the benefit of being
able to be spread out throughout the
house so all of our bedrooms are not all
on top of each other so Adam gets the
first floor Elly's got our suite
downstairs and then tab and I have our
master suite upstairs metals are short
Tavish and I got married in 2014 I was
really interested in exploring polyamory
with Chaves I really encouraged him to
do that because at the time I was
dealing with mental illness I have a
agoraphobia and it frequently is
difficult for me to go out and to like
he wants to go to clubs he wants to go
on road trips I can't do that so it was
a way for me to encourage him to explore
his hobbies and interests with other
people who shared them without like
pressuring me into stepping out of my
comfort zone all my life I had always
kind of had a hard time only liking one
person at once so when we decided to
officially be poly
it just kind of felt like a weight was
lifted off of me after opening up their
relationship and exploring polyamory
Bettina met Adam on a night out I had a
couple of drinks
talked to her then she told me she had a
husband so I said so I turned around and
walked away and then my drunken coherent
self decided you know what and we
exchanged numbers you're adorable
I am I kind of am sometimes and it
wasn't long before Adam wasn't the only
person who had joined the relationship
so this is what Elly does she makes
these amazing costumes I love having a
lot of space and I love having my own
little private area that I can retreat
to we call this my cave I'm also married
we were highschool sweethearts he lives
in another state he's finishing grad
school so my husband and I openly
started dating other people
and then a couple months later I met
Tavish and the three of them they were
already all living together within a
year we were all living together being
with these three it just felt like the
perfect dynamic despite living together
as a poly family not all the
relationships in this household are
romantic and I have a very bro
relationship without being without
without being romantic Bettina and I
were like non romantic partners yeah
we're like a wives yeah
Bettina and I are both a little
high-strung us sit next to me you're
supposed to be participating I am
participating get on camera Adam
so Bettina stressed out it's really good
for her to be with Adam because Adams
very chill and he can help bring her
energy and her stress levels down
Elly is very comforting and nurturing
and that helps me de-stress we're very
much the calling collected I don't even
like the argue I hate it course so where
exactly we all work and then like Elly
and I have our are like other projects
and activities
Tavish likes to go out to clubs and
concerts and stuff we have a color-coded
dry-erase calendar on our fridge and
that's the only way we can keep it all
together so everybody has their time
with their partners we have time as a
family and then that allows us to also
have time individually we're all just
considered a giant family unit high-five
yeah the challenge is however there are
gendered challenges a man with multiple
female partners that's pretty cool right
but where if I have a boyfriend or a
husband I'm a [ __ ] yeah I'm presented
with Ellie and Bettina I'm a pimp
but if Bettina is presented with me and
Adam then she's a hoe and we're both in
the closet and frankly the court are
getting sick of people asking the same
old questions about their relationship
we don't care about PTAs let's do a big
handful away the trees are gonna judge
us really Oh
do we get a scared question do we have
to deal with stereotypes and judgments
how much time do we have the questions I
get are like are like well do you guys
have orgies you guys have three ways are
you I'm I'm not even going to go there
like nobody ever asks us how do date
nights work or what's the dynamic in
your house or how much do you pay for
groceries
a lot but it's it's never anything
practical or anything that I would find
interesting like why do no matter our
sex life if you want to have an orgy
go right ahead but don't like project
those fantasies and those fetishes on us
it's none of your business our culture
is unfortunately still very puritanical
things that are different are so kind of
threatening luckily not everyone has
been negative about their unconventional
relationship structure all of our
families have been super accepting about
it my brothers thought I was a pimp my
mom was had like she looked and she
sucked on a lemon she's like what the
[ __ ] really through my whole family for
a loop but as long as I'm happy they
really don't care was I surprised to
hear they were polyamorous I don't think
I was that surprised I don't think I've
ever had any concerns I mean obviously
as you know a family member yeah I'm
concerned that somebody's gonna leave
her heartbroken or that there's gonna be
tragedy or trauma obviously you have
those concerns but just try it I'm gonna
try it I was just mounted and I feel
less concerned for her because I know
she has such a strong support group I do
not believe that I'll find myself in a
monogamous relationship again this is
part of who I am now yeah I wouldn't I
don't know if I would choose to be
monogamous again I would agree with
everything settled and harmonious within
their relationship the quarter now
hoping that they might soon have an
additional member joining but not in the
way you might think
Betina and I foresee a future where we
are going to have children together and
Ellie and I
future where we first see us having
children together - we're on the same
page as far as like the kids will have
two moms and she dad I don't think it
was nothing about this would negatively
affect a kid and we intend to stay
together
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you