hi I'm Adrienne Everheart and I'm a love and relationship coach and I'm so glad you're here
today with me on this video because I wanted to talk about something really important and that's
called no contact and if you've had any sort of breakup or you've split apart even temporarily
from someone you love you have perhaps research the internet on how to reconcile or how to make
things better with them or how to make up and you've likely come across this role called no
contact well I'm going to tell you about no contact and why I am NOT a fan of it and I'm
going to tell you a little bit about what got me into coaching and how no contact just absolutely
really pretty much ruined some chances I had of reconnecting with my heart to the man I love so
I'll tell you a little bit about that but I'll start with how I got into coaching so I was
once married and we loved each other very very much but we just couldn't make it work we tried
several therapists we've read lots of self-help books we did alternative healing we did retreats
we did all sorts of things to try to figure out what was going wrong nothing worked until sadly
the marriage had to end well soon after that I met old man I was on what I call love empty
which means I was full of holes I was full of holes where I needed love and attention and
excitement and I met a man who could give me all those things because as you know the first three
months of a relationship are usually bliss where we are just looking for the good and that person
and that's all we see and that's all we fill and then after that things begin to change as they did
and he just took off went no-contact on me and I never heard from him again it was devastating
alright inter boyfriend number two and the next relationship I went into after my divorce I was
even more on love nd than I was before so really I had a repeat of this again and that's what you
might find yourself doing is having a repeat of men who come into your life and then leave for
one reason or another and you can't figure out why this keeps happening to you so this is what
I do in coaching I help find the pattern and we end it we do something completely different and
that's when I got into coaching with roy ray so that turned my life around but before I did I
practiced something called no-contact and this was with boyfriend number two the man that I actually
was able to become my authentic self show him my vulnerabilities and attract him right back
into my life and we are going so strong and it's wonderful everything about it is great it's going
to feel so good when that happens for you as well it's like nothing else you can experience it's
nothing that you've been taught or learned from your parents it's an amazing process so when he
decided he needed some time away I researched on the computer I read about no contact so I wasn't
responding to him if he sent me an email I didn't really respond to it I didn't talk to him it felt
like it had been a year and it was three days so it was a terrible feeling it was going against
my true nature of what I wanted to do now I had already learned don't chase after him and send
him a hundred texts and a hundred emails which is actually what your DNA and your emotions will
trigger you to do and a man leaves you you'll get triggered to actually pursue him even more
and that's also nono but you also don't want to have this really read rigid set of rules about
what you should do so thankfully I got coaching into my life pretty quickly it started to turn
things around and I'll tell you what I learned about day nine or so I knew he was far away from
from me he was far away from our little family we had together with our pets and our kitties and
our dogs so I decided to send him a photo of all the animals and this photo began to reconnect us
on a different a different way through our hearts I wasn't trying to get anything from him I wasn't
trying to get him to do anything I just wanted to let him know all the animals were alive and
well and that we missed him and that was it and that's how the relationship got activated again
and we began to open up and talk to one another now maybe you've tried a similar thing but if
you do it send it with the intention of I'm not looking for anything particular to happen
I'm doing this because this is how I feel and it feels wonderful and if you don't get a response
from your man maybe he needs more time a means more space and also we need to work on you I had
a lot of work to do on myself looking back back then I actually didn't really know how to love
a person I mean I knew how to love someone and be good to them and and you know be loving and
warm but I didn't really know how to express love based on what I was really truly feeling inside of
myself I was always doing what I thought I should do and doing what I thought would bring about the
best result in the relationship I was not being authentic I was not being myself you know and
that's really how you connect to a man's heart so my vote on no-contact rule is thumbs down I
think it's robotic I think it's following a role and it's definitely not you being in touch with
your heart I do however believe in giving a man space and time and not pursuing him but having
a really rigid rule in place that doesn't make sense either so I'd love to talk with you more
about this especially if you've recently gone through a breakup or if you're just feeling
that distance from the man and you're contacting him you're letting you know letting him know that
you miss him but you're not really getting any responses you're not getting that reconnection
that you're really hoping for I'd love to talk to you and maybe we can figure out some different
things you can do starting with yourself that will just change your vibe change your energy so
you can react a quality man into your life or riah track that loss love all right well I'm Adrienne
Everheart you can find me at everheartcoaching.com email me at everheartcoaching@gmail.com thanks
so much for watching this video and I look forward to talking to you soon bye