- (giggles) Hi guys.
So what's up.
It's me Kimmy Jimenez.
In case you didn't know, it would be pretty hard
not to know.
'Cause I'm really obnoxious about it.
I am getting married very soon to the love of my life
and I'm very excited.
(horn blares)
(audience clapping)
Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
I thought I needed a little bit of closure.
I, I'm,
I wanted to talk to some of my past exes.
I, I, I don't know who I'm gonna see today.
Oh my. (laughs)
- Dun dun. Ahh.
(Kimmy laughs)
- Dun dun. Ah ha.
Hello, my queen.
- Hello? The shocker.
You've gotten bigger since the last time I saw ya.
Hey. - Hey.
- Good to see you. - Long.
Long time, no see.
- Yeah, it's been a bit.
Puka shells.
They're, they?
They didn't go anywhere.
- Yeah, of course.
I'm a beach guy.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. You look nice.
- Thank, thank you. - [Connor] yeah.
Thank you so much.
- You look a lot better than normal.
- Oh.
(audience laughing)
- Oh, you know, you look like you don't remember me.
- No, I just did.
You offered to set me up with the
hottest girl in school exchange for soccer training.
- I did and then.
- Which you really needed.
- I did need it a lot and yeah.
And then I didn't do that, I felt.
- No you didn't.
- [Kimmy] Instead. I just-
- Other things.
- Other things happened. - [Bruke] Happened.
- Based loosely off of a Shakespeare novel.
(audience laughing)
(Kimmy laughs)
- That's (beep) right.
(Kimmy laughs)
The ultimate Shayne.
That's right.
- The ultimate Shayne.
So, wow.
Good to see you again.
- Good to see you too, Kimmy. - Ultimate Shayne.
- That's right.
- I wanna know first.
So what initially attracted you to me?
- I walked into a Ripley's Believe it or Not.
And there you were.
- I was right there.
- And you saw that I, I didn't understand.
And you said, have you seen the cyclops lamb.
(audience laughing)
- Your face is like super symmetrical.
- (chuckles) Oh.
- You kind of remind me of my mom.
- So I was like-
- Tell me about that.
- That short shaggy hair.
- Yeah.
- Sideburns flowing in the wind.
- Stuck them on real good.
- I was like, damn - [Kimmy] Mmhmm.
- This guy's got swagger.
- [Kimmy] Mmhmm.
- You're versatile.
(Kimmy laughs)
- There's different ways of looking hot.
- That's, that's true.
- I walk onto the beach.
- [Kimmy] Yeah.
- And there you were, most gorgeous person I've ever seen.
I was right.
- No, I'm really glad I was on that,
the beach that day.
- Yeah.
- I was in like full ballgown for some reason.
- Yeah.
- I just.
- I remember that.
- I really wanted-
- I thought that's, that's a crazy person.
- (laughs) Yeah. That's me.
- Exactly what I want.
- That's what you wanted.
And like, what's my biggest flaw.
- You have a lot of energy.
- I do.
- You have a lot of energy in, in, in the bedroom.
- [Kimmy] Yeah.
- You have a lot of energy at home.
- [Kimmy] Yeah.
- I'm the shocker in the ring.
But when I'm home, I, my name is Quinton.
(audience laughs)
- Like you really need to loosen up sometimes,
like learn how to relax.
We were out, like the horse races, right?
- Yeah.
- And like that's when you wanted to start talking
about like the inhumanity of like the horses and stuff
and it's just like, just have a good time.
Spit on the horse.
- Your bicycle kick was (beep).
Everything else about you was incredible.
- But yeah, the bicycle kick was pretty crap.
- Mm it's probably that you're (beep) too nice.
- I, this is how I handle my emotions is
by being angry all the time.
- Yeah and suplexing chairs.
- And when you're being nice, I don't know how to handle it.
- Our relationship must have been agonizing for you.
- Yes it was. (Kimmy laughs)
It's awful.
- All right.
I just wanna know why, why did we break up?
- So I bet you on a match with the Knocker Knights.
And I said, you guys win, you can wine and dine my queen
and I'll never see her again.
- Mmhmm.
- They power slam me the moment I got in the ring,
they put their elbow jammed into my back
and I did a full penetration skill.
- Yeah you did. - It's a very hard
skill to do.
- It's very difficult, yeah. It's only-
- You don't knock out the legs and the hands,
you get in close and you thrust.
- Yeah.
- I can't be with a woman that hasn't been like
introduced to society.
- True. - You know?
Like if you don't know, like your salad forks
from like your like dessert forks, like-
- Yeah, I couldn't tell, but they all do the same thing.
Right?
- They don't.
(audience laughs) (Kimmy laughs)
- You know, clearly we both had some soul searching
we needed to do. - We did.
- You needed to figure out your identity.
I clearly needed to address my sexuality.
- Yeah.
- I finally had enough and I was like
I'm gonna make her angry.
I loaded up the, the sink with dishes, dirty dishes,
awful (beep), Vegemite everywhere.
- That's disgusting.
- Did an upper decker in the toilet.
- Pfft.
- And I was, I just was standing there like this.
Like, you're gonna be so pissed off.
Finally. I, you're gonna be pissed off at me.
- [Kimmy] Mmhmm.
- And you were like, oh, you must have had a hard day.
(audience laughs)
And I was like (screams)
(Kimmy laughs)
I will take you back right now
if you (beep) lose your god damn cool.
(Kimmy fake screams softly)
What the (beep) is that?
(Kimmy laughs)
- Did you keep any secrets from me while we were together?
- My big secret was, when we were together
I was writing a book.
- You were writing a book.
- Yeah. I didn't wanna tell you
'cause I was afraid you were gonna talk me out of it.
God, that feels good to get that off my chest.
- That's- - I called it
Shimmy: the Shocker and the Kimmy Story, Believe It or Not.
(audience laughs)
It's a fantastic book, actually.
It's got a lot of pictures in it.
- Nice.
- And it's 75% stickers as well.
(audience laughs)
- Yeah. Your best friend, super hot.
Like I love a blonde but like I know she's a redhead now,
but like super hot.
- Yeah.
- Also Victoria, smoke show.
Kelly.
- [Kimmy] Kelly - She's kooky. (laughs)
- So you think all of my friends are, are hot.
- Yeah.
- Especially Jackie.
She's got a fat ass.
- Yeah, she does.
Yeah, she does.
- [Connor] Yeah.
- I knew you were Kimmy the whole time.
I knew.
- You knew?
- I knew.
I mean the second you walked out there,
the glue of this Spirit Halloween sideburns was
coming out immediately. - I thought it was
such a good disguise.
- I mean you clearly had taken my socks from our dorm
and stuck them in your shorts dude.
- Yeah.
- I thought it was pretty hot.
I truly, to this day, don't know who
I was more attracted to back then.
It was like, I, there was the goal was so big
and you were just hitting, hitting
(Kimmy laughs)
slap shots into my sexuality, into my horny goal.
(Kimmy laughs)
- I slash your tires all the time.
- You did that.
- I slashed your tires.
I was making you late for work all the time.
- Yeah.
- I put Ex-Lax in your coffee
which is why everyone knows Kimmy (beeps) her pants at work.
You had me watch She's the Man and you were like,
this is one of my favorite movies.
- Yeah.
- And it was like, this is, I said it was good,
but I hated it.
- You hated it?
- Hated it. Not believable.
No. That would never happen.
(audience laughs)
- Well. (laughs)
- I had a hard time with it.
- I was pretty in you.
- Yeah. That's fair. Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Just the way that I Strutted.
- Yeah.
- If you had the last word, what would you say?
- Honestly? You're kind of a (beep)
(Kimmy laughs)
Is that your ring?
- Yeah.
( laughs)
(Kimmy laughs)
- Believe it or not, I'm still in love with you Kimmy
and I'm sorry
and I love you.
- Oh.
- And I won't shock you ever again
but you will always shock me.
- Thank you, The shocker.
It's been lovely seeing you.
That was a lot of words.
- Yeah. You said last words.
(Kimmy laughs)
- Don't forget.
Heels were a male invention designed to make
women's butts smaller. - Smaller.
- And to make it harder to run away.
- Yeah.
- You wanna touch 'em one more time?
- I do.
(audience chuckles)
- Oh so hard.
Surprisingly.
- Yeah, I mean-
- That's, you've been yeah.
You've been working on it.
- 'Cause I'm in the same room with you, Kimmy.
(ball bounces)
(Kimmy laughs)
- I would say, hold on, boomerang.
- Oh.
- Threw that a while ago.
- It just happens. (giggles)
(audience laughs)
- Wow. Alright.
So that was me interviewing my exes.
I, that, a lot of surprises there
but really good to see everyone.
Oh, hi.
If there's anyone else you wanna see get interviewed,
interview their exes, let us know in the comments.
Let us know what you thought of this.
What you think of my exes.
I got some good types, right?
Oh my God.
This is crazy around.
There's two videos here.
If you wanna check out some more stuff. Um, wow.
- Oh, my nose is bleeding, does anyone have a tampon?
- Wow, again. You get a tampon for Bruke?
- Zap, I got money.
- Someone got a tampon?
- Hey Zeta.
- Little bit of back off 'cause this mean son of a (beep)
- Call me.
- Believe it or not.