Ever since the Super Nintendo, Donkey Kong and 3D have been like
this.
So naturally, when the time came to make a Donkey Kong television series,
Nintendo brought in Pixar to animate it
and I think the results speak for themself.
Look at how realistically the monkeys interact with each other.
And keep in mind, this was only the pilot epis--
WHAT THE F-
What SHIT is this?!
Reggy, what did you do? (Reggie Fils-Aimé) [He pronounces his name as Reggy]
Why did you let them d--
This is like a mod for Jimmy Neutron, or something.
This-- This isn't real, r-
BANEHNEHSLEMMEH
It's real.
[Bluster Kong] Hey, Candy!
Surprise!
[Candy] A birthday cake?...
[Bluster] Happy birthday!
Banana Cream. Your favorite!
[Candy] *Sighing* Rejected!
[Dunk] HOLY
SHIT!
That is fucked up!
He bake- He bakes her this big ass cake
and she just rejected-
Tha- That's fucked up.
I don't care who you are!
[Candy] So
[Dunk] WHAT?
[Bluster Kong] The machine, No! *Dunkey laughing*
[Dunk] What the fuck?!
This lady is the biggest bitch in the fucking seven seas!
You know what it is? She only loves Donkey Kong.
I know this because of a musical number.
[♪ Song: "Our Love Is Stronger Than A Golden Banana"♪ ]
Yeah, you thought I was kidding.
But it's real.
Also,
they used motion capture
to do the...uh
dancing.
[♪ Song: "Our Love Is Stronger Than A Golden Banana"♪ ]
[DK] Happy birthday, Candy!
[Bluster] You can't be serious!
[DK] I brought you these!
[Dunk] Damn! Now that's true love!
Bunch of fuckin' bananas on a green stick.
[DK] ♪ Your love is like a dream come true ♪
[Dunkey laughing]
[Candy] ♪ You are the sunlight warming- ♪ [Dunkey laughing]
[King K.Rool] Just watch.
[Candy] Donkey Kong?!
[DK] What?
What did I do?
[Candy] Whose banana peel is that?
[DK] What banana peel?
[Candy] THE ONE ON YOUR HEAD, YOU BABOON!
Our date's off.
Don't call me!
Don't drop by!
EVER!
[Dunk] JE-
[Dunk] -SUS
CHRIST!
What the fuck, lady?
Years of friendship: gone!
Negated by this single banana.
[Candy] ♪ Our love is like a Summer Breeze ♪
[DK] ♪ Can't you see we're meant to be ♪
[Both] ♪ Our love is stronger than a Golden Banana ♪
♪ Our love is stronger than a Golden Banana ♪
[Dunk] Unless I trip on one banana peel
then this shit is over forever!
[DK] I'll walk the rest of the way with my buddy DICKS (Dixie).
Catch you later, Diddy!
[Dunk] That's Dixie Kong...
(laughs)
[DK] I used to hang here with my girl...
But that's history... *Studio audience awwww sound FX*
[Dixie] Aw, you'll hook up with somebody, DK.
(Krusha laughs)
[Krusha] Hey, what about you, Dixie? [Imitating DK's voice]
Little Dixie doodle...
You are fine!
[Dixie] Huh?!
[Dunk] Now, this is a very complicated scene with a lot of moving parts.
I think it's best we, uh,
analyze each element on its own.
Like, first, let's appreciate that this blue guy back here,
he is able to...
Perfectly replicate Donkey Kong's voice.
[Dixie] Hey! What is up with you?
[DK] Huh?
I didn't say anything!
[Dixie] Dogging your best friend!
Humph!
[Dunk] Now, this is where it gets more impressive.
The blue guy...
okay.
He can- he can do Donkey Kong's voice perfectly,
but now he is actually able to talk in such a frequency
where only Dixie Kong is able to hear what he says
even though Donkey Kong is sitting right there.
He's sitting RIGHT in front of that tree.
[Dixie] Wait 'til Diddy gets a load of this!
[DK] What?
What did I say?
*Meanwhile*
[K.Rool] Oh, my!
[Dunk] Okay.
I can explain this.
Uhm...
K. Rool...
He finds a book.
Which tells him that, by cutting Donkey Kong's hair,
you actually, uh, deactivate his monkey strength. [Like Samson?]
So, K.Rool builds a robot...
[Candy Robot] Snip-clip,
power-slip,
you're a wimp and that's it!
[DK] What?
[Candy Robot] Snip-snip, gonna clip!
Make you my sweet and sexy chimp.
[Dunk] You dumb fuckin' robot!
Donkey Kong's never gonna fall for that shit in a hundred years.
Look at your face!
It looks like a car ran over it-
Aaand... he's a hundred percent gonna fall for it.
[Candy Robot] Come here, you hunk of love!
[DK] Okay then!
Chop-Chop!
[Candy Robot] All done!
That wasn't so bad, was it?
Do you like it?
[Dunk] Yep.
He likes it.
So now, with Donkey Kong rendered powerless,
K.Rool sends in this stupid-ass blue guy to kill Donkey Kong
and he steals the crystal.
Truly, all hope is lost.
[DK] ♪ I don't know what's happenin' to me ♪ [ ♪ Donkey Kong - I'm Nobody's Hero ♪ ]
♪ I'm gettin' all the blame for things I didn't do ♪
♪ Can anybody tell me just what I did wrong ♪
[DK] Chop-chop!
♪ Once I was the ape of the hour ♪
♪ Now they think I'm a coward ♪
♪ An absolute zero ♪
♪ I'm nobody's hero ♪
♪ An absolute zero ♪
[Dunk] But then, this happens...
[Diddy] Banana bullseye!
[DK] Huh?
[Diddy] Look! It's your head!
Your hair is growing back!
(laughs happily)
[DK] So are my muscles!
[Dunk] Just an incredible show.
[End Credits]
[Outro]