-Like I said, one of our guests tonight is Colin Quinn,
the great Colin Quinn,
and he has a book out called "Overstated"
where he basically roasts every state in the U.S.
It's funny, and you can just read it in any order.
It's a good book.
Well, I wanted to put him to the test,
so now it's time for "Overstated with Colin Quinn."
[ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ Overstated, overstated, overstated, overstated ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
-Colin, Colin, are you there?
Oh, I see you. -Oh, yes.
-Wow, yeah.
Colin, I thought we could go through some states
and you can give them a quick roasting.
Does that sound okay? -Sure.
-First of all, how are you doing?
Are you okay?
-Oh, I don't know why you would --
You should have said that before...
-I know, I know, I know, I know. I understand.
I know, but I -- I admit -- Sorry.
-Hey, you just started this.
-I know, but it wasn't on the teleprompter.
But, yeah, you look good. I hope you're okay.
-Oh, it wasn't on the teleprompter.
-It's not about being a big shot.
That's the way it works.
Acting like I'm trying to --
-No, I wasn't calling you a big shot.
I was saying -- I was making a dumb joke that,
"It wasn't on the teleprompter. I couldn't read it."
[ Laughter ]
Sorry. -Oh, my God.
I guess we started with the first roast already.
Oh, my gosh.
How about this, Colin? Arizona.
What could you say about Arizona?
-I call them the Instagram state
'cause they're beautiful but empty.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
-How about -- How about Ohio?
-Ohio's like the middle, like the nice --
They're like your nice friend that waits in the car
while you're hooking up with somebody in the house.
They'll sit there and wait to drive you home.
[ Laughter ]
-Florida.
-Florida's the hot mess that you want to hang out with
but you always end up getting arrested with them.
[ Laughter ]
-Okay, last state. Pennsylvania.
-I don't want to do Pennsylvania
'cause you're gonna feel like it's an attack on you,
but it's not.
-Why?
-Alright, I'll do it. But don't be paranoid, okay?
My joke is, it's a state that kind of, like, started,
it almost fell apart, then it came back strong.
You might call it like the "Fever Pitch" of states,
I call it. That's the nickname.
[ Laughter ]
I didn't make up that nickname. That's the state nickname.
It's on the license plate.
-Why would I even do this?
How do I not take that personally?
Give it up for Colin Quinn, everybody.