- What's up y'all?
Welcome back to Basic to Bougie.
- I'm Darren "Big Baby" Brand.
- I'm Timothy DeLaGhetto.
- And I'm ... Don Vito.
(laughs) - [Darren] Aye.
- [Timothy] Basic to Bougie.
So we're gonna try three different versions of one food.
Determine which is the cheapest
and which is the most expensive, ready?
- Bougie side, blindfolds on.
Hey, can we bougie one time, basic to bougie!
- Basic to bougie.
(tires screeching)
- You see what I been going through?
- [Justina] I feel your pain, baby.
- It's just so unnecessary.
Don!
(beatboxing)
Don!
What's up my boy? Huh?
- Ooh, Don's sexy ass is back?
- I smell it, take it, take it.
I smell it, what is that?
- What is it? I gotta, what is this?
- [Darren] What is that? - Oh it's fishy!
- [Timothy] I feel mini sausages.
- That's my hand. - What is that?!
- Oh, it's a crab.
- That's a (beep) crab leg.
- [Justina] I'm not gonna lie, a bitch is hungry.
- [Timothy] (laughs) Oh my god.
(bell ringing)
- [Justina] Yes! - [Darren] Bougie!
- [Justina] Yeah. - Can we just bow our head
and give thanks?
- Yes, please. - Yes.
- We thank you for these wonderful crabs legs.
- Yes, Lord.
- 'Cause Lord knows we couldn't afford this
on our own money so you just blessed us
with a show that let us eat for free.
- Amen!
- Praise him!
- I've had crabs before.
- You've had crab before?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've had crabs.
- In more ways than one.
- We all got it from Justina, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, she delivered it.
- What are we going with?
Let's save this for last.
- Why? - Ah!
- 'Cause it's the monster.
- Why are you touching all three?
Why are you touching all three?!
- Are you going to lick the shell, Darren?
- Oh my god. - No.
- Did you see this?
- Oh, it's juicy. - Don!
Let's touch, let's get these.
- What is it?
- [Justina] I don't care who touches what,
I'm still eating it. - Do you lick the shell?
- God. - God damn.
- God Darren, you weird this season.
Justina, you throwing off ...
- [Timothy] Darren's mean to me.
- [Justina] Am I throwing him off?
- Let's start with the ones right here.
- Okay. - Let's start with these.
- [Justina] Cheers, (speaks in foreign language).
(chewing)
That's good.
(tires screeching)
You didn't like it?
- It's last.
What is wrong with you, saying stuff is good and it's not?
- I'm not hard to please.
- I've been avoiding making the white girl seasoning joke
but after a few of these- - It is true!
- I'm kind of like ...
- I gotta tell you something.
- The reason why white people can't season
is 'cause you can't taste (bleep).
Justina, what is wrong with you?!
- The thing is, number one,
I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm hungry.
Number two, I have never complained about food.
Whatever my mom made as a kid, you (beep) ate
and if you didn't like it, don't eat.
You know what I'm saying?
- But you not little no more!
- I know but my tongue never changed.
- Nick has been paying us enough
to at least get some decent meals, man.
I wasn't a fan. - At all!
And she says, "It's okay."
- It's okay! I mean.
Hey man, when you're hungry-
- Let's move on to the toes, to the toes.
- [Timothy] They're not toes, they're claws.
- [Darren] Gotta make some real obnoxious noise with this
while I'm sucking the meat out.
(slurping)
- Definitely better than that.
- It needs butter but it's still good.
- It tastes better 'cause it's like,
it feels fresher than that, you know what I'm saying?
- This is really good though.
- Yeah. - I'm liking it.
- I'm on my second one.
(cracking)
- Ugh. - Ah!
- Ooh!
- Ah! - Oh, it's everywhere.
- Oh! - Oh!
- It squirted on me!
- It's so inappropriate, this episode!
- Yo, right off the bat, this is fire.
- [Justina] I'm not gonna lie, this is so good.
- Why do you need to lie? - I don't know.
- I'm not gonna lie.
- See, this how you get it done.
- Oh, that's a big piece of meat.
- Poppin'.
- Oh my god!
Now that's a crab, that's a crab.
- And it's so big, I feel like I'm eating
a (beep) turkey leg of crab.
- [Justina] So good.
- Turkey leg of crab.
- It's the turkey leg of the- - Of the crab family!
- Y'all know we could pick, right?
- [Justina] Yeah.
- [Darren] Cheapest?
- [Justina] Cheapest?
- [Timothy] Mm-hmm.
- Middlest. - Middlest.
- [Timothy] Middlest.
- [Darren] Most expensive. - [Timothy] Mm-hmm.
- Don, my boy!
Anybody got free hands?
- Let's do it the right way.
(laughing)
- Let's cut it out. - Cut it out, cut it out.
- Peel it, peel it.
- [Justina] Lump crab meat, like we said, cheapest.
- [Darren] $25 a pound.
- [Justina] Jonah crab claws from the Gulf-
- [Darren] Of Maine! - [Justina] The Gulf of Maine.
So that's $35 a pound.
- [Darren] Alaskan king!
- [Justina] $45 a pound.
I think we're good, we did it. - We're pretty bougie.
- [Justina] Yeah, this was easy.
- We ain't basic, we're bougie.
- Look.
- Oh, we can't snap?
- [Justina] Oh, oh.
- [Darren] We can't snap.
- Crab juice all up and down my arm.
- You are feeling that (beep).
- Stop, stop, stop.
After you had that, have this.
- Don't make her do that, ugh,
look you can't even, ugh.
(laughing) - See what I'm saying?
- It's not good anymore!
- This is another episode of Basic to Bougie.
- Bougie!