This video is sponsored by Surfshark VPN.
Hey, you! My name is Thomas 'TomSka' Ridgewell. I'm Elliot Gough. And I'm Eddie Bowley.
And welcome back to... [jaunty theme music]
Audience: CONTENT! [children cheer]
[Tom stumbles over his words] [laughter]
Oh, we're scatting today? Skabab, boobidyboooo! I'm a skatt man!
Here on #CONTENT we have done a Q&A, we've done an A&Q, we've done a Q&Q!
But there's one thing we haven't done... Barbeque! Good stuff. Woah. Woah! Woah.
We have never done an A&A. An Answer & Answer, and we haven't done that because how would that work?
Doesn't make sense. But I have come up with good idea. I went to Twitter - and also our Patreon-only Discord -
and asked you for some questions and I am going to answer those questions!
Eddie and Elliot will also be answering those questions, however they will not know what the question is.
They will have to answer it based only on my answer. Hopefully it'll be funny... If it's not... Oh no!
It wouldn't surprise me if it's Elliot but I'm gonna assume me.
I don't think I'm gonna stand a chance so I reckon it would be a toss-up between you two.
I think it would be me because I've got really strong legs.
Please extrapolate as to what your legs are doing in these situations.
Kicking! [laughter] Oh! My God!
So, the question was: "out of us three, which is the least vanilla?"
As in, who has the most exotic sex? Ooh! Oh! And apparently you... Be kicking?
Apparently it just definitely wasn't me. Yeah. I mean you had SUCH vanilla sex that you procreated.
Yeah... You basic bitch. I did sex for what it was made for and nothing else!
God, you fucking Catholic. [laughter] How about you Catho-lick my balls?
I like 'em but I dunno what to do with 'em. I mean I've considered just cuttin' em right off.
Honestly. Woah... Yeah. Harsh. I wanna see how far I could stretch 'em!
No! They'll die! 30 centimeters. Holy shit! That's a wide frog! Thanks, man. Oh!
Question was: "how do you feel about frogs?" [laughter] Very stretchy. Apparently so!
Honestly, pretty much every time I go outside. Specifically only when I get my hands stuck in the Pringles can.
[laughter] That's very embarrassing for you. I know! It only happens to me on a Wednesday... Oh!
At 12pm exactly. Ooh... Where? It happens for about an hour. Ooh. Huh.
But it's VERY intense. Every Wednesday?! Every Wednesday. Intense.
Uuh... I don't wanna- In a tent?! [laughter]
What was the question?! Oh, uh, it was: "do you get recognized in public?"
Uh... Oh! [laughter] And it was just, any time you get your hand stuck in a Pringles can...
Someone is just like: "there he is!" It's EVERY time! Yeah. "Aw, not again. Aw, f- They're watching me!"
Honestly, I think it's quite average but people on the Internet give it a solid 3 out of 5.
Sounds a bit like a willy... It does sound like a willy! Oooh! That's SO silly! Like a willy!
It can't be a willy, Tom wouldn't pick something as silly as that!
It's fuckin' massive. I have noticed that. Yeah. Painful. What about you, though? I don't believe in it.
It's a quantifiable fact. Nope! Don't believe in it. Don't trust the people who believe in it. Ooh!
Until I see it with my very own eyes... You have! Well, it could be an illusion. Could be mirrors.
Just wanted to know how big your toe was! Mm, I don't have any. [laughter]
It's just a slab of meat down there. So it's just like... [hitting table] Plap plap. Like a duck.
You just have hooves. I hate this. [laughter]
Well it's funny you should ask... This episode is sponsored by Nord VPN. NOO-
[typing] How to perform the heimlich... the himlick... The hemlock... The- The chokey hug!
[upbeat music] Aha. Go ahead. Skip this ad! Okay! [click]
Ahuh! Go ahead, skip THIS add too! Yeah, I will-
Alright, you son of a bitch. I gave you a chance but you're gonna watch this ad and you're gonna LIKE it.
Okay... Do you know what a VPN is? A virtual private network? Yeah, I use Nord- [whack]
You use Surfshark VPN now! [cries]
Did you know you can use Surfshark on unlimited devices? Did you?! No... Can Nord do that? I don't kn- [whack]
It CAN'T! And with over 3,200 servers across 65 countries, you can watch any region specific
anywhere, anytime! [cries] But can Surfshark protect my data and passwords,
even when I'm on public WiFi?
[whack] You BETTER believe it! Why?!
If you click the link in the description and sign up using the code TOMSKAFRIENDS
you'll get 83% off your subscription and 3 months extra for FREE!
Okay, I'll do that, I promise! Alright, great. Have a lovely day.
Thanks, bye! Enjoy your video!
Hello there! My name is Doctor Matt and today we're going to be learning how to perform
the Heimlich Manoeuvre. Wait, why did I want to watch this...?
[choking] Elliot... Gaah... Oh! Oh no...
It fills my fleshy pink body with an indescribable amount of dread.
Whereas for me, I see it as more as a... Responsibility. A duty. I think it tastes like yummy ice cream!
You can taste it?! Mmhm. What kind of ice cream does it taste like? Purple... [laughter]
That is... Good! Yeah, it... Yeah. The question was: "what're your thoughts on this image?"
Ooooh! Oh! Purple. Purple! [laughter] Whereas you find it to be a responsibility. I do!
Not yet but, y'know, if the situation arises. I've done it hundreds of times. Holy shit!
Hundreds! Jesus Christ- Hundreds! I have a problem and I need help.
You know what? Once we're wrapped with this... I'm gonna do it again.
Can you at least wait until you get home?! No. No! Jesus- I'm gonna do it in your garden.
Not again! Yes! I don't believe in it. What is it, is it like a masculinity thing?
No, I'm a coward. [laughter] This was the question... [laughter]
Okay, nice. [laughter] Yeah! You don't believe in it... But you are- mostly it's because you're a coward.
Yeah. I choose not to believe in it because I'm scared of it. [laughter]
I'm gonna go with courgettes and pizza. For me it's a lot of milk. And? Just, no, milk.
Both?? Just milk. Milk and milk. That's a fucked up relationship then... Just... Just milk me up.
Fish and chips... And a really long hot dog. [laughter] It's like... Too long. Why one and not the other?
One's very intimidating... And then the other's a really long hot dog. [laughter]
What was the question, Tom? The question was: "what is your least favourite food and your most favourite food?"
Aah! Oh, okay. I do hate milk. I don't drink milk. But apparently, you love it as well. But I also love it.
It's just a terrible love-hate relationship. You're like: "Ooh, I'm gonna be shittin'!"
I can't quit you! Fuckin' Brokeback Mountain reference? With milk?!
I wish I knew how to quit you... Then why don't you?!
You just gotta like, give 'em a little lick. Just blem. Just a little lick. Just one little lick. That'll do it!
I like to get one of those sticker machines where you clicker the cling [??] and it spells out,
y'know, names and stuff? Yeah. So I just spell out like "property of me. my shit. hands off."
and then I just, like, stick it on. Wow! On those things. Genius. That is legally binding. Yeah. Incredible.
I stuff my mouth with it, like a little chipmunk. You stuff your mouth with what?!
Then it comes out like this... [laughter] And then I save it for winter.
You are voring... Potential boyfriends? Yup! [laughter] And saving them for the winter?
I don't want them to leave... That'll do it! I ain't havin' it in the summer, it's too hot so...
No, yeah. Save 'em for the winter. They survive?! Yeah, I feed them. Aww. I like, put a little...
Chex Mix in there... We don't even have that in this country!
Where did you get Chex Mix from?! I have to import it, it's very expensive.
But how else am I gotta keep my boyfriends about?
Probably not my own. I see it all the time and it drives me nuts.
I wish I could just chuck it outside and leave it out there. Thank- Finally someone said it. What do you think?
I only play with my wife's. I... True and good. I just play with that.
I- I don't have one of my own so I just play with her's instead.
Cuck?! [laughter]
Huh... Oh my god, I almost passed out just then. Oh fuck, I got such a headrush...
that just threw me so much. He hasn't said "cuck" in 10 years!
The question was: "do you want to have kids?" You play with your wife's but you don't have your own!
Oh! That's not your kid?! Oh, it is mine! In the canon of #CONTENT, Rik is mine. It's true!
Oh, and you said "cuck", I thought you said "cock!" [laughter] Oh!
[slapping noises] Lotta fuckin' [slapping continues]
I don't like that, I don't like doing that. Didn't feel good.
For me... [sad music plays] I just... Sparks gone. It's just nostalgic feelings of a feeling once lost.
How does she feel? Barren. Oh! Woah... [laughter]
I wanna go to Italy!!! Going to Italy? We're going to Italy!!! Pizza pizza!
That'll do it! I wanna see the leaning tower of pizza... I wanna see a pizza... [laughter]
I wanna see the STRAIGHT tower of pizza... Hold on.
Do you think it's the leaning tower of "pizza"? [laughter] Yep! It's full of pizza, right?
I just wanted to know what the secret to a healthy relationship was... [laughter] Um...
Mine works! Yeah! Yours works but... Jesus, man... Oh no! Go to couples therapy! It hurt.
No, they ask too many questions! Your poor, barren wife!
Uuh... 6? I've had just the one, but it's really fuckin' good. Woah. Congrats. Thanks, man. Yeah, if it ain't broke...
Six entire ducks! OH MY GOD! That's six entire crimes! At least!
You better believe it, baby, like a fuckin' plate of spaghetti! Finally, we're talking about Italian food again!
Mamma mia, it's me, Chris Pratt! MARIOOOOO!!! Yahoo!
Well, for me, it's like when you get a lasagna and you sort of do a slice down the middle and you just fuckin' go
"GARBLARBLFFARGH" [laughter] Like that. Yep! Yep yep.
For me, it's like a tortellini. I wrap it up in a little ball of pasta, I crinkle the little sides, and then I go "OOM!"
[laughter] Hey. I'm not gonna kink shame. You eat ass however you choose to eat ass. [laughter]
Um, no, because I'm not a freak. But I'm a nasty freak! I know! I will just go wild. I'm aware.
Whereas I happen to know Tom is lying. I saw him do it. That's illegal.
I filmed him it. That's illegal! And I've already published it online.
Oh, my god... With subtitles. Oh, nice! That's very inclusive of you. Yeah.
Audio descriptive, as well. Oh, I appreciate that. Y'know what? Now that I've found out it's inclusive,
I'm okay with it. Yeah. Question was: "do you stand up to wipe?" [laughter]
Put a gun in there and pull the fuckin' trigger. [laughter] Don't. Please don't. Not legally binding.
Maybe just man up? You know? Yes! Oh, finally, someone has the courage to say it!
Just fuckin' grow a set of balls. Snowflake. Try smiling more? Snowflake. Smile a bit more, eh?
It's all in your head. Yes. All in your head. Yes it is! Fuck that's good!
They wanted advice for their sore throat. [laughter]
Well, that was a frickin' A&A. How do you boys feel like it went? Did you incriminate yourselves? Yes.
Yes. And everything here was legally binding. Oh no! Mmhmm.
Thank you very much for watching that episode of #CONTENT. We're back, we're making some content,
I hope you like it! If you don't like it... Fuck.
We got a Patreon tho. There it is! Yeah! We got cut content, we got a podcast, we got a Discord server.
Check it out. Or fuckin' don't. Byeeee!
[music: hey you, thank you for the money x12]
Elliot: Thank you, Patrons. We appreciate it. Thank you! Bye!