Teacher: Okay class - spell "Wednesday".
James: Uhhh...I-I don't know how to spell Wednesday.
Teacher-James: Well, James just sound it out.
James: Oh, okay.
James: So, like this?
Teacher: No James, it's "wed-nes-day".
*Aggressive sniff*
James: You said sound it out, and that's how you sound it out.
French Student: *stereotypical French laugh*
French Student: zou think zou have it bad - deux is spelt with an "x"!
French-James: *stereotypical French laughing, slowly turns into crying*
I think it comes to no surprise that I am terrible at spelling.
I feel like everyone in life falls into two categories:
either you're good at math and bad at reading
...or
you're weaird.
And if you've seen my other videos you know that I'm a "math boi".
My mom told me that I have dyslexia because she has dyslexia, and I have all the symptoms
...but
we never got that diagnosed by a doctor...
soooooo...
*phfff*
You can't make me take my meds, Mom!
A lot of times what I do to cover up the fact that I spell lower than a first grade level...
...is I will purposely misspell words
to the point where it's obviously a joke.
You thought I was doing that to be funny
but it's actually 'cause I have zero self-confidence in my spelling,
and I don't want anyone to point out my mistakes.
I mentioned this in a different video, but in elementary school I was put into an honors program
and everyone had to take spelling tests a grade ahead of their level.
And by everyone, I mean "everyone except me"
because I failed every single spelling test.
So I had to take spelling tests that were on level.
Ew.
Every week when we took the spelling test, I would have to move to the back of the classroom
and the teacher would stand right next to me.
She would call out everyone else's words which had like 8 syllables
like antidisestablishmentarianism,
and then she would turn to me, and give me my on level word.
Teacher: James your word is: cat
*sniff*
*exhales from mouth*
Also one year our class did a spalling bee and everyone had to participate
and like,
I didn't even care that I was the first one out.
Hey that's almost my name.
Another thing that I mentioned in a pretty old video
is that I use to have a speech impediment when I was little.
I couldn't pwrounce my "r's" and I tawked wike dis.
Uh-I'm good now,
pfft...
obviouswei.
So every other day during school I had to go to a speech therapy class.
And one day the teacher who taught me how to pwonounce my "r's'" -
I'll call her "Mrs. Kool-Aid" -
gave me this sheet of paper with a bunch of waindrops *beep* raindrops on it
and she said
Mrs Kool-Aid : For every raindrop on this page, say the word: raindrop.
But then she just left the room
and I said :
James: Huh...
Well I'm not going to do this!
I didn't say waindrop a single time
cause like, no one was even there, no one would've seen me not saying waindrop
so why would I do something that I didn't wanna do?
But then, the funny part is, when she came back she asked:
Mrs Kool Aid: Are you finished saying your raindrops?
James: Nooooo
Mrs Kool Aid: Well how many did you say?
James: I didn't say any
Mrs Kool Aid: You stupid child
I told her the truth for some reason!
I don't know why, it was probably the easiest lie in my life to get away with,
but that's why I remember this story.
I'm still mad at myself for telling the truth!
And I had to say raindrop a bunch of times in front of her
and she would only go to the next waindrop until I said it right,
and it was tewwible!
It weally hurt my feelwings.
Since I was struggling with reading and spelling I had to get an "I.E.P."...
an Increable Excelent Persinality.
Which meant I had to go a special class for a little bit during school,
and the teacher who taught this class was none other than Mrs. Kool-Aid.
*Kool-Aid Voice* OOOOOHHHH YEEEEEEE
I don't know why I said it like that.
I don't remember anyone ever telling me I was put into a special needs class;
I just remember going into speech therapy every other day
and then those classes slowly morphed into teaching me how to read and spell.
I don't know, I thought reading this book would've helped me talk betta.
Two other kids were in the reading class with me
and I remember the day when reading for me just clicked.
Us three were given a simple sentence to read, it was about bees,
it was so simple it was literally just:
And then Mrs. Kool-Aid asked us:
Mrs Kool-Aid: 'K...how do bees defend against wasps?
and the other two kids said:
Kids: They sting them.
And I said
What? No, you mowons! Didn't you wead this?
*Large gasp*
James: The words on this paper have meaning when are placed in a certain order and convey information.
Also I never want to get hugged by a bee.
So I was in these classes all the way until the 6th grade.
I was getting better at reading, still wasn't great but I was getting better at it.
And one day Mrs. Kool-Aid said:
Mrs Kool-Aid: You know James, you should try competing in The Battle of the Books.
James: Battle of the Books?
James: BATTLEOFDABOOKS??!
James: BaTtLe Of Da BoOkS!?!?! (RIP headphone users)
James: Finally reading sounds fun!
At my school Battle of the Books was this competition where students were given a list of 4 books to read
within a time limit of like 2 months.
I don't remember how long it was.
And after however many months it was
the contestants would sit in an auditorium
and take turns answering questions about the books,
and whoever got the most questions right would get a pizza party.
And that's where the battle part comes in
We'd kill each other for pizza!
And then there were two more rounds, each with four more books,
so there was a total of 12 books you had to read.
And we were allowed to be with a partner
so my partner was T.J.
James: Hey T.J., you remember Battle of the Books?
T.J.: Yeah man! It was GREAT!
Now you're probably thinking that 4 books in 2 months isn't that hard
especially since they're kids books,
but as someone who didn't read any books on my own, outside of school.
it was a challenge.
BUT I discovered a way to cheat the system!
I discovered something called:
audiobooks.
Instead of having to sit still and read the book
I could just have someone read the book to me.
And I would get through the book so much faster -
I'd be able to read a book in about 8 hours
as opposed to reading a book...
never
'cause I would never be able to finish a book on my own.
And I was actually able to understand what was going on.
I legitimately thought that listening to audiobooks was cheating, because of how well it worked.
So I never told anyone my secret...
until just now.
Pwease don'wt tell anywone.
Also I didn't just turn on an audiobook and start playing video games.
No
I sat in my bed next to the CD player and followed along with the book
and sometimes I even took notes.
I've wanted to talk about my love for audiobooks for so long,
but I can't
because then people will think I'm getting paid by a certain company,
But I'm NOT!
And I'll prove it!
Instead of wasting your money on quality audio books made by professionals
you guys should all check out LibriVox.org
where you can listen to free public domain audio books.
Which means there's only old-timey classical books on it like Aesop's fables
which in my opinion is all you need. (foxi boi)
Anyway, T.J. and I did the Battle of The Books,
and for one of the rounds T.J. was sick
so I had to answer the questions all by myself.
And I never forgave him for that.
And also the whole time I was keeping track of everyone's points
and me and T.J. got the most questions right.
My math skills are finally being useful.
I was already craving the pizza.
After the last round the teacher said,
Teacher: Okay I'll tally up all the points, and let you all know who the winner is in a couple of weeks.
And since I was keeping track of everyone's score I already knew...
...we won. (nice animation)
I turned to T.J and I said,
James: *Whispering* T.J.,
Guess what?
We already- Oh! This is the round that you were sick on.
How did I not notice that until just now?
But then a couple of weeks go by,
and I'm not hearing any news about a pizza party.
I was expecting to walk into class one day
and there would just be a box of pizza boxes waiting for me.
But that never happened. :(
The teacher in charge of the competition was the librarian,
so one day I went up to her and I asked:
James: So-uhh- did you ever say who won the Battle of the Books?
A-Also my favorite pizza is barbecue chicken.
And she said:
Librarian: Oh! These two 5th graders won. (WHAT?!)
So the Battle of The Books was for both 5th AND 6th graders.
I was a 6th grader so I went to all the 6th grader battles.
but APPARENTLY
there was some low-life 5th grader
who got every single question right
and STOLE MY PIZZA PARTY.
And that taught me a valuable lesson:
even when you work hard, you don't always get what you want in life.
but that's okay.
Because one day...
*deep inhale through the nostrils
You'll be an adult, and you can buy all the pizza you want without having to read first! (if you are rich)
*Coughing*
Boyinaband: Hello there!
Any of you down for a game of soccer- I-I mean football?
This is 100% James.
This isn't someone else doing the end card-this is me.
This is James.
I would never ask someone else to make an end card for me, because I was too lazy. Hehe.
You guys should check out the channel
g-get..
GetMadz?
'Getmadz' am I pronouncing that right?
He helps me edit my videos for my 2nd channel -
that's right, I have a 2nd channel, with a total of...s-six videos count 'em six
six videos
And also, as per usual, I need to thank my colorers who made this video look absolutely amazing.
Thanks guys!
I appreciate it!
Everyone go watch these guy's videos for a solid 4,000 hours.
Including "madz's"
"m-madz"
And as always...
...what does James say, for his outros again?
Strap up if you're going on a bumpy ride!
Wait th-that-that's not it at all...
Buckle up!
Wait-t-that's way too American.
Oh yeah!
Wear your seatbelt!!