Hi. James from EngVid. We are gathered here today for this thing called "life". That's
a line from Prince. And I have to apologize because one of you out there said that my
song was not music from Star Wars, but from Mozart. My apologies. But I'm still using
it because it sounds, you know, like something horrible is about to happen, and it is. I'm
going to teach you a lesson on weddings. And depending on who you are, it's a good thing
or a bad thing. But anyway, here we go. One of the things we're going to talk about -- we'll
talk about the rituals of weddings, and I'm going to give you some vocabulary to go with
that. And just to start off the show -- I don't know who this guy is, but anyway. He's
saying, "Will you marry me" to this beautiful young girl. And she's saying, "Yes. I will.
Is that a diamond ring" -- another word for "wedding band" -- "or Mr. E?" We'll find out.
Let's talk about weddings. Okay? Well, before we go there, here's a little joke I'd like
to put to you. There are two things you will be invited to. And both of them signal the
death of something or the death of life. Okay? The first is a funeral. And I did a video
on that earlier. Go find it. That's where my friend corrected me. And the second one
is a wedding. It is the death of your single life. So what we're going to do is I'll do
the magic click, take a step out, and then we're going to start the lesson. Are you ready?
Let's go on our journey.
"And dearly departed" -- sorry. Marriage. I keep forgetting because that death thing
keeps coming to my mind. Anyway. So what we want to look at is -- I told you I would give
you some vocabulary and explain a little bit, give you a little history. It's not too much,
but it will help you to remember and understand why we do what we do. Ready? Let's go to be board.
Mr. E is gone, but his presence will not be missed. Okay in fact, I'll put a little E
here. We're going to talk about the engagement. Okay? There you go, Mr. E. He's not looking
too happy about being in this particular situation. We say the wedding is a particular day, and
it's true. In fact, there are special names for weddings when you're getting married.
But before that we've -- I consider the wedding starting with the engagement because that's
the first time you make a promise to join -- look at that. Engagement. You get a ring.
Surprise, surprise. You get that engagement ring, and you say, "Will you marry me?" The
person says yes. You put it on. Boom. You're fianc�s. You've started the first step
to getting married.
A little thing about wedding rings. I'm not sure if you know about it, so I'll just take
a good look at it. Do you know what this symbolizes? Well, boys and girls, in the old days, the
wedding band -- that's another word for "wedding ring", the "wedding band" -- the wedding ring
told other men that this woman was taken. So when the woman would put it on, other men
would go, "Oh, no she's off the market." In other words, "You can't date her anymore because
somebody else has bought the woman." Glad those days are over. Yeah? You just bought
a diamond ring, son. It's not over. So engagement. It starts with a ring. And just before the
wedding, people -- you know, these are old, kind of rituals or things we used to do. Young
people would get together. They wouldn't have anything. They might have lived on a farm.
So they needed to get things to start their new life together, and not everyone had a
lot of money. We're talking of the times where people were kings and queens and princes.
So the poor didn't have a lot. So when you would have a bridal shower or a stag night,
well, the bridal shower was to get gifts to help the couple start their new life together.
I mean, really, this is about 150 years old, but it's still long because you're young,
son. Not like me. Okay. So the bridal shower, if you get invited to that, cha-ching! It's
the beginning of what I call the "wedding money machine". You have to show up with a
gift for the bride because she's starting a new life and you should pay for it. That's
right. Unlike the bachelor party -- old guys call it "stag night" because stags have, you
know, the big buck. It's sort of like a horror story -- deer. You know Bambi's mommy? Well,
Bambi's daddy would be a stag. He would be big and strong. It would be your final night
to be a big, strong man because now, you're about the get married. I love it. One ring
shall control them all. Anyway.
So the stag night was a man saying goodbye to being a man and now to be a husband. And
the bridal shower was the time for the woman to the bow, "Give me the goods. Give me the
good stuff." Okay? So she'd be getting stuff.
Now, let's talk about the wedding itself. Because this happens, and there's a period
of time in between. And it's called your "engagement period" until we get to the wedding day. Now,
here's what's funny. Here's the funny thing. On the wedding day, it's actually a whole
day, but the wedding really consists of a few minutes, okay? Now, on the wedding day,
you're going to have a wedding party. I know I made it sound like a funeral, but there
is actually a wedding party. It's not what you're thinking. The wedding party are, sort
of -- today, we call it, like, your "posse" or your "group" or -- what was that program
called? The guy had a -- well, whatever. You've got your tribe with you. The woman had what's
called the "bridesmaids", and the men had what's called the "groomsmen". Now, the bridesmaids
are made up of her good friends or women that are important in her life. And the groomsmen
are made up for the man of all the important men in his life. Okay? So this could be his
extra brothers. And this could be her sisters and her best friends.
Now, of the people you like the best -- you will love this part -- you have your maid
of honor. It could be your mother or sister, but really a sister or your best, best friend.
And the best man would probably be your favorite brother or your best friend. These are the
people that head these groups, like, the leaders of these particular groups. And then, you
have the bride and the groom. The groom -- some of you don't know this word because it only
exists for one day in your life. It's when a man is about to be married. On his wedding
day, he is a groom. While the bride is only a bride on her wedding day. Okay? And this
only lasts for about a couple of hours because you have to understand after they exchange
rings -- that's what this is for. Okay? When they exchange the rings, they suddenly become
"husband and wife". So you have a few hours in your life that you will be a bride or a
groom. "Bride" is for girl; "groom" is for boy. Okay?
So this is the wedding party, not the party you're thinking. Sorry. But when you're invited
to be on the wedding party, it's an honor because they're saying you're special. That's
why I said it's like your sister or your best friend or your brother or your best friend.
You're being given an honor, okay?
A woman has to wear a special dress on her wedding day, and it's called the "wedding
gown", sometimes called the "wedding dress" now. Why am I mentioning this? Guys just get
to wear a suit, so it's not a big deal. A suit or a tuxedo. The wedding gown has a specific
thing or meaning. And many women search for months to get the perfect dress. You see,
the wedding gown came back -- this is also about 150 years old. Because it started after
-- because a long time ago, women couldn't afford to buy one dress to wear for one day
and throw in the garbage or put away. This was just crazy. But about 150 years ago, they
started getting special dresses only for the wedding. And they call it the "wedding gown".
Now, the wedding gown was supposed to be in white. And it used to come with a veil. A
"veil" is something to cover the face. And it was for innocence and purity and secrecy
because she was a virgin. And she would be veiled until revealed to her husband. Okay?
Now, in the Western world, white meant innocence and purity. But if you go to the Middle East
or in Asia, it was in red and orange. Now, you might think that that woman must have
had lots and lots of sex, but that's not why. You see, for Asians -- so if you're wondering
why in your country -- you're like, "Oh, my god, our women are so dirty." It's not. It's
meant for festivity, to be fun and have fun and be exciting. So they're saying you're
entering a new phase of your life where -- a phase means period -- where you're going to
be having children and family and it's great and it's fun. So they have orange and red.
Or the red is to kill your husband in ten years. No. Orange and red. While the white
in the West was for innocence and purity. Okay?
So she wears this dress; they exchange vows; they get married. Now, she says, "I do". He
says, "I do". And that's where, you know, your vows and your promises -- we've got it
up here. So come over here in a second. After that, you get invited to the reception. Cha-ching.
More money, people, more money. Okay? I talked about up here the bridal shower. On the reception,
you get a free dinner -- dinner, okay? In the Western world, it's usually chicken and
beef with some kind of mash and rice and vegetables. I've been to a few. And then, you must bring
a gift of equal or greater value. Isn't that nice? Okay. Oh, and before I forget, pops
or dads out there, if you're -- you know, girls, bring your father in to watch this
video. You should. And explain to him that in the Western world, the father pays for
all of this. So if I don't bring a gift, it's a free meal on him. Food for thought. Okay?
So these are -- well, this is how the wedding day basically proceeds. Okay? This is your
basic wedding outline. But let's talk about some of the rituals there. I gave you one
idea with the wedding gown, why people wear the colors they wear, right? Or why they wear
a veil. But let's look at some of the rituals. There are four that are involved in a wedding
that I found are important and you want to pay attention to.
The wedding vows. These are the promises people make to each other about what they will and
won't do in marriage. Love, honor, and obey because I'm a dog. I'm joking, but I mean,
this is the basic one in the Western world. We say we'll love, honor, and obey you. And
usually, by the way, it's for the women. The men don't say that. But the vows, really,
especially when they're important, people make their own now, which is really cool.
And they say the promises they want to do in the wedding to make it -- or the marriage
to make it happy. Right? And joyful for both people. And I think that's kind of cool, don't
you? Obey me.
Next, exchanging the rings. I gave you a little bit when I said it was to show that a man
had bought a woman, right? I didn't finish it, but it's kind of cool. In other countries
-- I think it's Russia -- they wear it on the right finger. In the Western world, especially
Germany, England, France and whatnot, we wear it on the left. You might wonder why. This
is from the Romans. You see, they believed there are a vein -- which is what carries
blood -- that came from the heart that was directly linked to your ring finger. So when
they put it on, it was to capture the love from your heart in the ring. Kind of cool,
huh? Stick with me. I'll teach you a few things. So now you know why someone wears their wedding
band or engagement ring on their left. It's to capture all that love that goes directly
to their heart. Okay?
At the end of our weddings, we usually throw rice. Everyone throws rice. Not so much now
because it was killing birds. I'm serious. True story. We were killing birds. We'd be
throwing them up. We'd go, "You're married", and the birds would fall from the sky. "They're
celebrating, too. They're dying." But the throwing of rice or throwing of confetti or
paper in the air after a wedding, if you always wonder why in our movies they get married,
they throw things in the air, it was for fertility. They thought if they threw a lot of stuff
in the air, the people walking under it would have many, many babies, and it was a good
thing. You like that? Yeah. It's cool, huh? I'm about the end it on that. "Confetti, yay.
I'm getting married." Okay?
But before I do, because this is an international school that we have here, I want to bring
out one more which I found interesting: the breaking of the glass. Sometimes, you watch
North American movies, and you'll see some couples go [sound of glass breaking],
and they break glass. And you think, "All of them do this." Actually, this is a Jewish tradition.
Just as I mentioned that Middle Eastern people have different colored wedding gowns or they
wear veils, in the Jewish tradition, they break glass. They dance, and they break the
glass. And it's to show that this is some serious stuff. "This is serious business.
So serious, we're going to break some glass in here." Really, they do. I'm not making
this up. I wish I could.
I hope this video has brought you and I close together and made a great relationship. Come,
Mr. E, up there. See? We're engaged now in conversation and learning, and this is a good
thing. Anyway. I've got to go. What I would like to say now is the usual. I want you to
go to my triple W, www.engvid.com, "Eng" as in English, "vid" as in "video", where you
can learn about weddings and funerals, and other of life's interesting little acts.
Have a good one. It's been a pleasure.