-Alright. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Alright.
Turn up, turn up. Gang, gang, gang.
Okay. Okay. Thank you.
Thank you. Man, I been in therapy for one year now.
Whoo! And I'm excited, man.
I'm trying to get my homies to go to therapy, too,
but every time I tell them, they like, "Nah, man,
just do push-ups."
[ Laughter ]
Which is cool, but, like, after I'm done, I'm still crying.
[ Laughter ]
I just have a bigger chest.
I got tears running down my chest like a sad D'Angelo video.
♪ How does it feel ♪
[ Imitating high-pitched sobbing ]
[ Laughter ]
You don't want to see that.
Therapy's great, though.
Every time I tell my therapist my issues,
she gives me an understanding moan like, "Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm."
Like my issues are dessert.
[ Laughter ]
"Here's my apple anxiety pie."
"Mmm.
That's good."
"Here's my depression blueberry muffin."
"Mm, why you so sad?"
[ Laughter ]
"Your depression just needed sugar."
[ Laughter ]
Of course I'm depressed. I'm a Millennial.
I'm going to be renting forever.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Forever.
You know, I'm not mad at Baby Boomers.
I'm just jealous that they got here first
and bought all the land for $40.
[ Laughter ]
Like, there's nothing for us.
Nothing. I checked Amazon. We ain't got nothing.
[ Laughter ]
But that's alright, though.
Feel like there's gonna be change,
'cause a lot of the Baby Boomers,
they in the back of the computer store asking for our help.
[ Laughter ]
That's where we get change.
They all back there, "Can you help me reset my password?"
[ Laughter ]
"You gonna help me with a house?"
[ Laughter and applause ]
Hmm?
[ Applause ]
Still got to get it, Grandma.
You gonna co-sign this mortgage?
No? Well, I don't know passwords. I don't know.
I don't even work here. Next!"
[ Laughter ]
People don't realize this --
Like, alright, anybody that's 21 and older,
you ever realize this?
Like, we were all born in the 1900s.
[ Laughter ]
Like, the people in the 1800s are all dead.
[ Laughter ]
It's just us.
[ Laughter ]
Like, I feel like I'm starting to sound like my mom.
Like, I remember anything in the news with Michael Jackson,
she would defend him like, "Well, you know what?
I like Michael with the big nose.
[ Laughter ]
Michael with the big nose and the afro and the bell bottoms,
that's the only Michael Jackson I know."
[ Laughter ]
I say the same thing just for Kanye West.
[ Laughter and applause ]
"You know Yeezy with the Louis Vuitton book bag
and the braces?
That's my Yeezy.
That's the only Yeezy I know."
[ Laughter ]
Nah, I love Kanye. [ Chuckles ]
And we all miss traveling.
And two years ago, I was in Paris.
And I'm not bragging, I just have to give a shout-out
to my credit card limit for extending itself.
[ Laughter ]
You ever had that? Like, word?
You gonna give me more money off the money I still owe you?
Turn up!
We out!
I don't get that when rappers like, "Get money. Get money."
No, get credit.
[ Laughter ]
Get credit, use it, then die.
[ Laughter ]
Get out of there.
[ Applause ]
I'm a Millennial. All I'm passing down to my kids
is knowledge and debt.
"Here's my student loans.
and the people in the family that I owe."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Minimal payment, baby.
Minimal payment.
[ Laughter and applause ]
I'm Nore Davis! Thank you so much.