Guys... I've got a lot of problems in my life.
I wrote a song about some of the problems in my life.
I hope that some of you can relate to it. Here we go.
♪ Walking around I got no one to talk to ♪
♪ There's everyone ♪
♪ And then there's just me ♪
♪ If I could change Don't you think that I'd do it ♪
♪ God only knows Why he cursed me to be ♪
♪ A straight white man ♪
♪ I state my problems ♪
♪ Other people roll their eyes ♪
♪ Three trips to the mall ♪
♪ Zero khakis in my size ♪
♪ I've never been the victim Of a random search for drugs ♪
♪ But you can't say My life is easy ♪
♪ Until you've walked a mile in my Uggs ♪
♪ Straight white man ♪
♪ I know the road looks tough ahead ♪
♪ The women want rights ♪
♪ The gays want kids ♪
What?
♪ Can't you just leave us alone? ♪
♪ And also "No" to the things you asked for ♪
They're being greedy and they know it, okay?
♪ Everyone thinks that I've got it easy ♪
♪ And just 'cause it's true ♪
♪ Doesn't mean that it's right ♪
♪ So pull up a chair ♪
♪ And put down your pitchforks ♪
♪ Give me a chance ♪
♪ To show you what it is like ♪
♪ To be a straight white man ♪
♪ The churches never made me Feel ashamed of who I am ♪
♪ But I get emails from Zappos That Gmail doesn't mark as spam ♪
♪ My country's constitution Was handwritten by my race ♪
♪ But my wife bought me The brand new iPhone ♪
♪ With an iPod Touch's case ♪
Case doesn't fit that phone.
♪ Straight white man ♪
♪ I know the road looks tough ahead ♪
♪ The women want rights ♪
♪ The blacks want Not to be called "the blacks" ♪
Sorry.
♪ Can't you just leave us alone? ♪
♪ Also, "no" to the things you asked for ♪
♪ No ♪
♪ Straight white man ♪
♪ I know the road looks tough ahead ♪
♪ The women want rights ♪
♪ The African Amer- ♪ It doesn't work with the rhythm.
♪ We used to have all the money and land ♪
♪ And we still do But it's not as fun now ♪
Thank you.