Welcome to the brand new set for the Kill Count, where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies.
I'm James A. Janisse and I literally just realized that I'm standing in front of like, the best part of the set.
I spent HOURS settin all this stuff up, and this parts probably my favorite,
with little Leppy boy and his lil pot o' gold and all these action figures,
but whatever, guess I'm just gonna stand in front of all that cool shit for all the Kill Counts going forward -
today I'm looking at THE PROWLER, released in 1981. The Prowler is a very basic early 80s slasher, the kind that flooded the genre in the wake of Friday the 13th.
In fact, director producer Joseph Zito would go on to direct my favorite Friday film, The Final Chapter - which was of course, the 4th film in a series of 12.
With a plot similar to My Bloody Valentine's, and a pacing similar to The Mutilator's,
The Prowler has all the usual issues that make slashers one of my least favorite sub-genres.
It moves at a glacial pace through shots and scenes that feel endless - like they're just there to pad out the runtime -
and the acting for these cardboard characters is sometimes exceptionally bad.
What's worse, there are multiple subplots that go absolutely nowhere and are dropped without any explanation.
Despite a capable Final Girl and a halfway-decent tone, The Prowler probably would've been consigned to the waste-bin of history, like so many other slashers of its time,
if not for the splatastic special effects done by make-up master Tom Savini, who has sometimes cited this movie as his greatest work.
His effects somewhat salvage what would be an otherwise wholly unremarkable movie.
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Let's get a good look at Savini's good kills, and count em up!
The movie begins with a newsreel! A narrator talks about these 15 thousand Nazi killers who have won the war and are finally coming home,
though not always to the same life they left behind
"For others, the GI's of the 'Dear John' Letters, it means starting over, replacing what they have lost."
For anyone who didn't know - since I sure as hell didn't - a Dear John letter is traditionally when a soldier's girlfriend breaks up with him by mail -
usually because she's found another lover, but sometimes just because he's been gone too long.
That seems to be the case for this one, sent by a girl named Francis Rosemary Chatham - who's never been afraid to add flourish to her signature.
The year is 1945, a few weeks after V-Day, and though the Pacific Theater still rages on,
that's not gonna stop Pritcher College from celebrating its graduation at this dope ass building, which in real life is the Inn of Cape May.
The Prowler takes place in Avalon Bay, California, but it was filmed in Cape May, New Jersey, which may help contribute to its Friday the 13th-like feel.
The graduation dance is full of teenaged soldiers and sailors who are happy to be alive and not all disappeared like Glen Miller,
who the dance's MC honors by name before striking up a song about a college football trophy
"Little Brown Jug!" *drums start*
But since this school ain't part of the Big 10, the letter-writing Rosemary Chatham and her new boyfriend Roy decide to ditch this snooze-fest
and instead drive around in their Monopoly car. They pass Go and head directly to a gazebo - no bullshit!
It's the perfect place to get they 40s-style necking on - or at least it would be if not for one pissed-off farmer in combat boots.
Wait, what's that? Dude's not a farmer? Then what's with the- OHHHHHHH that makes sense.
You know what? I should've figured. And this non-farmer gets a two-for-one deal here, too - way to pitch it to em, guy!
The killer leaves Rosemary with a flower in her hand, and leaves us, the audience, with a TITLE CARD why thank you, Mr. Killer man!
35 years later, another graduation dance is just around the corner- in fact, the first for the town since that double murder in the 40s.
Like I said up top, very similar plot to My Bloody Valentine, which had come out 8 months earlier.
Even though some townsfolk are anxious about the dance's return, Sheriff George Fraser isn't going to be around to keep things in order,
due to a curious medical condition.
"Now, I can't start the summer without fishing, you know that, I never could!"
Sheriff Fraser is played by Farley Granger, by the way, best known for starring in two Hitchcock films - Rope and Strangers on a Train.
While the sheriff is out on therapeutic leave, Deputy Mark London's gonna be in charge. But don't worry about him -
"He's a good boy!"
*Baby talk* Who's a good deputy? It's you Mark, yes it is.
Mark's kinda sorta datin this Pritcher college student Pam, a nice bright-eyed Final Girl type who lives in a dorm with a bunch of her classmates and friends.
The dorm is across the street from the home of Old Man Chatham, who, it's hard to tell from this distance,
but is played by the notoriously difficult bar brawling actor Lawrence Tierney, AKA friggin Joe Cabot from Reservoir Dogs!
Major Chatham is the town's ex-mayor, who banned the graduation dance after his daughter Rosemary was found dead as Dillinger.
Although he suffered a stroke a while back, at least he still gets to enjoy some window watching action thanks to girl gone wild Lisa.
As the pre-gaming begins, Pam gets ready for her night - as does a feller in military fatigues with a blade in his boot.
You look excellent, buddy. Go out there and get em!
I know I said there's not much to this movie besides its kills, and I mostly stand by that opinion,
but if you squint hard enough there is a sort of theme about trauma and how we take our war vets for granted.
Thus our killer in a GI uniform.
Pam joins most of her friends on their way to the ball, but their friend Sherry's a slow-ass muthafuckin showerer, so they leave her water-wastin ass behind.
Works out fine for her, since her boyfriend Carl shows up, and they both down for some pre-ball ballin.
Too bad Carl bout to die with some blue balls here, cause the Killer shows up out of nowhere
and kills the college kid by stabbing him THROUGH THE HEAD AND OUT HIS CHIN! DOPE!
Oh, and a little blood shower on his face, too? Wow, this kill is actually amazing. The effects are literally eye-popping.
Behind the scenes footage from Savini himself shows how for this kill,
they stabbed a very well-made fake head and torso while actor David Sederholm waved his arms around. Good stuff!
The killer re-sheaths his blade and heads into the bathroom, where he tells Sherry what his favorite website for music reviews is...
It's another drawn out kill that shows off Savini's expert work, which was so crucial to the movie that they scheduled its entire production around them,
since the kills would sometimes take an entire day to set up. Totally worth it.
The dance features some pretty decent live music, courtesy of a band named Nowhere Fast, and some pretty spiked punch, courtesy of crafty college kids.
It also features Deputy Dance Date, who is easily woo'ed into a dance with sort of-mean girl Lisa.
Lisa then gets Pam's dress punch drunk, causing our sparkle-and-stripes protagonist to head back to her dorm room to change.
Lucky for the killer, though, Pam never bothers to check in on Sherry, who's gettin rose teabagged in the shower right nyow.
On her way out, Pam sees the killer and rightfully decides to book it the fuck outta there.
A perfunctory slasher chase scene ensues, which includes an egregious example of the awful "unable to open a locked door" trope -
like, seriously, that is really bad - but eventually Pam escapes. She's grabbed by Old Man Chatham as she flees,
and although his leather-bound grip is dead tight, this rambler gets ramblin, and runs into the arms of Deputy Hunk.
Mark looks around but doesn't find anything, so the two of them head to Old Man Chatham's to ask him directly what the heck he had been doin back there.
Chatham's House is played by the Emlen Physick Estate, an enormous 18-room Victorian mansion that now serves as a Cape May museum.
They walk right in to the dude's house and look around with a flashlight since the lights are all off
*string hit*
Yo, wait, what was that? You can't just cut to random shots of the killer, movie! Where's that guy supposed to be?!
I dunno, he's walking around with a pitchfork SOMEWHERE while Pam stares at a picture of Rosemary and Mark goes off on his own to look for, uh..
who were you guys looking for again?
"Major Chatham? Major Chatham! Major Chatham!!"
Oh yeah, Major Chatham. Thanks for the constant reminders
"Major Chatham!"
He doesn't find Chatham, since that plotline's just a red herring that's bout to be dropped, so the two of them head back to the dance.
They tell the dance's chaperone Miss Allison about the dude who chased Pam around the dorm, so she announces it to all the students in attendance
"A Prowler has been seen around the campus."
Because of that lurking movie title, the students are all ordered to stay inside.
But party girl Lisa took off before the announcement, so she's outside right now, enjoying a nice little swim in her underwear.
Honestly shocked she's not skinny-dipping.
When's she's just about done with her panty-clad pool sesh, she finds that she's not alone -
The Prowler has decided to join her in the water, and boy is he one shitty lifeguard.
That don't look like any CPR I've ever seen, buddy!
And it's mouth to mouth, not blade to neck!
As the pool water turns red, Lisa dies in the impressively graphic nature standard for most of these kills.
Lisa's kill started with that kick to the face, which was done by putting a rubber leg on Tom Savini's arm that he then swung towards the camera.
The Prowler's killer was played by both Savini and assistant director Peter Giuliano, who I think was in the costume during this pool kill.
Even looking at it, though, I don't know how they faked that machete in the neck. It looks so good!
Miss Allison comes outside to look for Lisa, and finds a pretty big red clue as to where the girl could be.
She tries to run back inside but is attacked by a bush that holds her against a wooden gate and stabs her in the neck.
Man, killer bushes? What is this, the Happening?
I've actually never seen that movie - but I'm pretty sure bushes stab people in it, right?
Deputy Pam's Man and Pam are told that some kinds are messing around in a cemetery by local store owner Kingsley,
who looks like he could be a cousin of Sid Haig's.
They act on the tip and go there to check it out, where Mark finds a grave that's recently been re-opened.
You really gonna try and lift that casket by yourself, Mark? You ain't the fuckin Tall Man!
He shares this new plotline with Pam before he finally gets the coffin open to reveal Lisa's body.
And don't look know, but this was Rosemary Chatham's grave - I, uh, I think? Or does that say Infirmary Poselee?
Deputy Unprepared decides to FINALLY call the sheriff at his vacation fishing lodge, but the dude at the front desk, friggin Boston Bob there,
is too busy playing solitaire and drinking Rolling Rock to help him out.
Mark calls the state police next, who say they'll be there in half an hour, and in the meantime, he and Pam are gonna head back to that house they were at before,
the one owned by, uh.. shoot, what was it again?
"Major Chatham!"
There it is.
Once again, they separate as they look around this giant dark house, because that's clearly the smartest thing to do.
After it gets even darker, Deputy Bright Idea heads into the basement to fix a fuse, only to get silently ambushed by the killer.
The Prowler raises his pitchfork high above Mark's head... before the movie cuts back to Pam.
She goes fishing for Santa Clause and finds a rotten corpse in some flapper attire. Shit, better get out of there before things get worse, Pam!
"I'm here for our date, Rose."
TOO LATE! The Prowler takes out his bayonet and embarks on another cliche chase scene,
this one featuring the old "running up the stairs" bit as well as the classic - but very random here - "rat almost ruining a hiding spot" gag.
Throw in an overdone horror movie shot and, whammo, folks, that's how you do nothing new.
The chase ends when this Otto dude comes in and shoots the Prowler down.
Otto is the brother, I think, of that Sid Haig-lookin store owner Kingsley,
and although he gets to play the hero for a mo', The Prowler wakes back up and shuts that shit down with a shotgun blast that splatters Otto against the wall.
Pam retaliates with a pitchfork head to the back before she and the killer wrassle around for the gun.
During the struggle, Pam messes with his mask, forcing him to remove it and reveal himself as Sheriff Fraser, because of fucking course.
Think you can take this guy out, Pam?
*gunshot echos*
Holy shit, that was incredible!
That dude's head just blew up so bad they had to fade to black! I mean, wow.
Tom Savini mastered the exploding head in Maniac, and for this encore performance he used a dummy head filled with condoms full of fake blood and apple cores.
Yum?
Somehow, Deputy Useless is still alive, and he drops Pam off at the dorm the next morning as he goes to talk to the REAL police.
She gets to her room and finds the shower still running, because SOMEONE just doesn't know how to conserve WATER, dammit Sherry we have to PAY for that!
Pam starts to get grabbed at, and Carl's eyes start buggin out, but I didn't mess up when I put him on the Kill Count, cause this whole scene is like a dream or some shit.
The movie ends with Pam traumatized. That's all I got. That girl's messed up now.
How many kills occasionally punctuated this movie's prowling pace? Let's find out and get to the numbers.
Join me, won't you?
...Won't you?
Please?
8 people died in The Prowler, and with 4 men and 4 women victims, that gave us one of those visually-satisfying pie charts. Symmetry is nice, you know?
With a runtime of 88 minutes, that left us with a kill on average every 11 minutes flat. Which is also nicely symmetrical, great job, The Prowler!
I'll give the Golden Chainsaw for Coolest Kill to Sheriff Fraser, fucking obviously.
It may have been a somewhat unsatisfying killer reveal, but at least he went out with a bang. Literally.
Dull Machete for Lamest Kill will go to Otto, even though it's not bad as far as gun deaths go.
It's another kill, too, where I watch the behind the scenes footage and I'm still not sure how they did it. That's what I call movie magic.
And that's it. The Prowler came out in 1981 and is also known as Rosemary's Killer.
On Sunday we're looking at Blood Quantum, which is available to watch on Shudder,
but until then I'm James A. Janisse. This has been the Kill Count.
Thanks a lot for watching this Kill Count. I wanna thank some Patrons, like
jj Zavala, edgeykoopa,
ABT Gaming, Robin Hougaard, Kidzbop2005,
TheMickster, and Superfan Giovanni
Lemme know what you guys think of the new set, again, I'm very upset to realize that I'm standing in front of all the cool shit.
Be good people!