- We're gonna play a game. It's called "Never Have I Ever."
And here's how it works.
I'm gonna ask a series of questions.
Please pass these down.
Take one and pass it down.
And I'll play along with you.
I'm gonna ask a question,
and we will all answer "I have" or "I have never."
And the first one is,
"Never ever have I been to a nude beach."
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
- All right. - Okay, put it down.
- "Never ever have I been arrested."
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
"Never ever have I gotten a tattoo that I regret."
[laughter and applause]
"Never ever have I joined the Mile High Club."
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
- Ah.
[chuckles]
[cheers and applause]
- Ah. [laughs]
"Never ever have I lied to get a job."
- [laughing] Oh, come on.
- How would you lie...
- I lie constantly to get a job.
- "Never ever have I gotten out of a speeding ticket
by being a celebrity."
[audience shouting]
[applause] - No.
Really? No.
- "Never ever have I forgotten the name of a date."
[audience murmuring]
Like-- like while you're with them?
I don't understand that--
- Yeah, that's difficult. - While you're with them?
- While you're with them? - That would be really horrific.
[chuckles] - Yeah.
[laughter]
Yeah. - [chuckles]
- No, I've never-- - [laughing]
- Ah. - Yeah.
- "Never ever have I seen
one of my 'Mortdecai' costars naked."
audience: Ooh.
- Yeah. [laughter]
[cheers and applause]
- You've all seen each other naked.
"Never ever have I lied on a talk show."
[laughter]
- [laughs] I don't believe you.
I just don't believe.
- "Never ever have I sexted."
audience: Ooh. - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, no, I haven't done that.
[cheers and applause]
- [chuckles] Wow.
- "Never ever have I said a baby was cute
when it was obviously ugly."
[laughter]
Yeah. [applause]
- Almost all the time.
[chuckles]
- That's it.
"Mortdecai" opens in theaters Friday.