LAST NIGHT BETO O'ROURKE WON THE STATEWIDE PRIMARY IN TEXAS
AND HE WILL NOW BE THE DEMOCRAT THAT WOULD GO AGAINST TED CRUZ
IN THE GENERAL ELECTION LATER ON THIS YEAR.
BUT DESPITE THE FACT
THAT IT'S BEEN LESS THAN A DAY WHERE HE'S BEEN THE CANDIDATE HE
HAS ALREADY BEEN THE TARGET OF AN ATTACK AD FROM TED CRUZ,
WHICH IS FUNNY FOR SEVERAL REASONS, ESPECIALLY ONE.
WE WILL LISTEN TO IT NOW AND BREAK IT DOWN.
? IF YOU'RE GONNA RUN IN TEXAS YOU CAN'T BE A LIBERAL MAN
? BECAUSE LIBERAL THOUGHT IS NOT THE SPIRIT OF A LONE STAR
MAN
? HE CHANGED HIS NAME TO BETO
AND HID IT WITH A GRIN
? HE WANTS THOSE OPEN BORDERS AND WANTS TO TAKE OUR GUNS
? A CHANCE ON EARTH HE'LL GET A VOTE FOR MILLIONS OF TEXANS
? IF YOU'RE GONNA RUN IN TEXAS YOU CAN'T BE A LIBERAL MAN
I'M TED CRUZ I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.
I LOVE THAT.
I READ ABOUT TO ADD, I DIDN'T HEAR IT UNTIL WE
PLAYED IT LIVE FOR YOU GUYS -- FIRST OF ALL THE COUNTRY SONG
WAS HILARIOUS.
I'M GREATLY AMUSED BY IT, WE WILL BREAK DOWN
THE FACTS IN A SECOND BUT TO ME I DON'T KNOW IF YOU GOT THE SAME
THING I DID OUT OF IT, HIS WEENIE VOICE AT THE END --
JAYAR MENTIONED IT EARLIER, IT'S THE TERRIBLE, CRINGE
WORTHY PARODY OF COUNTRY, AND THEN I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE.
IT WAS JARRING, LIKE A RECORD SCRATCH.
YOUR LISTENING ALONG, YOU ARE IN TEXAS, YOU ARE A
CONSERVATIVE, I DO WANT A STRONG MAN.
AND THEN TED CRUZ'S VOICE
-- SHOOT, I HAVE TO VOTE FOR BETO.
? WE ARE GOING TO VOTE AGAINST THE LIBERALS --
NOW VOTE FOR ME I'M TED CRUZ.
TRYING TO MAKE THE RACE ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE WANTS OPEN
BORDERS AND WANTS TO TAKE YOUR GUNS, I DON'T THINK BETO
O'ROURKE HAS COME OUT IN FAVOR OF THOSE THINGS, MAYBE DO YOUR
OWN RESEARCH.
BUT THE PART I LIKE THE MOST IS THEY SAY HE
REMEMBERS READING STORIES ABOUT LITTLE ROBERT WHO WANTED TO FIT
IN SO HE CHANGED HIS NAME TO BETO AND HID IT WITH A GRIN,
WHICH IS AMAZING ON SO MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS.
APPARENTLY HE
GREW UP IN EL PASO, THIS IS SORT OF A TRADITIONAL SPANISH
NICKNAME FOR ROBERT -- I HAVEN'T CHECKED THE NUMBERS, I WILL
GUESS THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE WHO SPEAK SPANISH IN THE EL PASO
AREA SO I DON'T THINK IT'S CRAZY THAT YOU COULD END UP WITH THAT
NICKNAME THERE.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE, THE ISSUE IS THAT
THIS IS AN AD BEING ENDORSED BY TED CRUZ, WHOSE NAME IS RAFAEL
EDWARD CRUZ.
HE TOOK EDWARD AND SHORTED IT TO TED, AND ATTACKS
ROBERT SHORTENING IT TO BETO.
HE SAID REAL TEXANS DON'T HAVE NICKNAMES.
YOU HAVE A
NICKNAME.
AND IT'S NOT EVEN YOUR NAME'S NICKNAME, IT'S YOUR MIDDLE
NAME'S NICKNAME.
THAT HAS TO BE WORSE, THROUGH WEIRD NICKNAME
MATH.
PART OF WHAT HE'S IMPLYING IS HE CHANGED IT TO BETO TO TRY TO
GET LATINO VOTES, THAT HE'S A PANDERING POLITICIAN.
THIS IS
THE OLD PLAYBOOK OF CALLING ELIZABETH WARREN POCAHONTAS,
ETC., NICE RACIAL UNDERTONES PLUS IT MAKES HIM SEEM LIKE A
PANDERING POLITICIAN, SO IT'S NOT LIKE WE ARE UNAWARE OF IT.
BUT THEN IRONICALLY TED CRUZ, WITH THE FIRST NAME RAFAEL,
PANDERS IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION AND GOES, I'M TED,
EVERYBODY.
I'M NOT RAFAEL, THAT SOUNDS A LITTLE TOO LATINO.
I'M
TED!
I THINK EVEN RAFAEL EDWARD CRUZ REALIZES THAT
DEMOGRAPHICALLY HE'S WILLING TO ACCEPT THE NAME, YOU WILL SEE
THAT BECAUSE HE WAS ASKED ABOUT THIS AD AND HOW OBVIOUSLY
HYPOCRITICAL IT WAS, SO WE WILL BREAK THAT DOWN AFTER THIS.
TO GO AFTER BETO FOR HIS NAME, IT'S OBVIOUSLY A
NICKNAME, WHY?
ONE, YOU DIDN'T LIKE THAT TACTIC WHEN YOU ARE
RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.
AND YOUR NAME IS RAFAEL, YOU GO BY TED,
THAT'S AN ANGLICIZED VERSION OF EDWARD, YOU GUYS ARE BOTH DOING
THE SAME THING?
YOU ARE AS WE RIGHT, MY NAME IS RAFAEL EDWARD CRUZ, I'M THE
SON OF MY FATHER, AND IMMIGRANT FROM CUBA WHO CAME TO TEXAS WITH
NOTHING, HAD $100 IN HIS UNDERWEAR, COULD NOT SPEAKING
WAS, WASHED DISHES MAKING $.50 AN HOUR.
IN THE FUTURE, WHEN YOU TELL THAT STORY, HE CAME HERE WITH
$100.
WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHERE IT WAS.
IT REMINDED ME OF THE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN SCENE IN TRUE
ROMANCE.
I WAS THINKING PULP FICTION.
I THINK IT WAS TRUE ROMANCE.
THE RING, RIGHT?
THE WATCH.
IT'S PULP FICTION.
THERE WAS A LOT OF STUFF IN THERE, HE'S LIKE A HUMAN
BRIEFCASE.
BUT TO GET BACK TO THE AD, HE WILL TALK ABOUT HIS
BACKGROUND AND EVERYTHING, BUT I LOVE THE JAYAR ZOOMED IN ON HIS
FACE.
IF HE TRIES TO MAKE THIS ABOUT APPEALING TO SOME SORT OF
STEREOTYPICAL VERSION OF TEXAS MASCULINITY THAT'S NOT SOMETHING
TED CRUZ WILL WIN.
I LIVED IN TEXAS, THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT TED CRUZ THAT
SCREAMS CONSERVATIVE TEXAN.
ONE THING STILL THOUGH, CENK, YOU TALK ABOUT HE PANDERED IN
THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION TOWARD THE WHITE TEXAN VOTE, I'M TED
AND NOT RAFAEL, THEN WHEN HE GETS THE CHANCE TO ANSWER WHAT
HE DID WITH THIS AD, HE BRINGS UP HIS IMMIGRANT FATHER FROM
CUBA.
I'M ONE OF THOSE GOOD LATINOS, NOT ONE OF THOSE
IMMIGRANTS WHO STEALS YOUR STUFF AND BECOMES A CRIMINAL.
I WILL
ADMIT TO BEING A LATINO WHEN IT COMES TO THAT, WHEN IT COMES TO
ANYTHING ELSE I'M A GOOD OL' WHITE BOY FROM TEXAS.
I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT, THAT'S HIS WAY OF SAYING MEMBER,
I'M NOT MEXICAN.
HE IS SUCH A BAD GUY.
THE OVERALL IDEA FROM THE SONG, THOUGH, ASIDE FROM THE
NAME, IS IF YOU'RE GONNA RUN IN TEXAS YOU CAN'T BE A LIBERAL MAN
-- I LOVE IT IT'S SAYING TO ALL THE CONSERVATIVES, YOU WILL
THINK EXACTLY THE WAY WE SO YOU SHOULD THINK, YOU WILL NEVER
CHANGE.
MAYBE THAT WILL EVEN WORK.
BUT THE IDEA THAT SIMPLY
CALLING SOMEONE A LIBERAL DISQUALIFIES THEM -- LAST NIGHT
HE ATTACKED BETO O'ROURKE AS A -- HE CALLED HIM A LEFT-WING
LIBERAL, I THINK, AS IF THAT'S CASE CLOSED.
IT'S NOT THE 90S
ANYMORE, IT'S NOT THE 80S, WERE FOR SOME REASON PEOPLE ON THE
LEFT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF THE LABELS.
THE COUNTRY ISN'T
WHAT YOU THINK IT IS, PEOPLE HAVE EVOLVED, THEY AREN'T SCARED
OF THAT.
IF ANYTHING LIBERAL IS A LITTLE SORT OF OUTDATED NOW
FOR THE MOST PART, BUT THAT'S A RIDICULOUS WAY TO ATTEMPT TO
DISQUALIFY SOMEONE THAT PROBABLY REPRESENTS THE VALUES OF TEXAS
FAR BETTER THAN YOU EVER WILL.
LET'S GO TO THE HEART OF THE QUESTION HERE, DID BETO O'ROURKE
MAKE UP THE NAME LATER TO PANDER AS A POLITICIAN?
BECAUSE
POLITICIANS DO IT.
REMEMBER, TED CRUZ PICKED A VICE PRESIDENTIAL
NOMINEE TOWARD THE END OF THE 2016 CAMPAIGN, SHE SAID I'M A
STANFORD ALUM BUT ROOTED FOR IOWA AND A BALLGAME -- YOU WANT
TO TALK ABOUT A PANDERING POLITICIAN?
SO DID BETO MAKE IT
UP LATER IN LIFE?
WE HAVE A PICTURE HE TWEETED OUT, THIS
APPEARS TO BE GOOD EVIDENCE, THAT'S HIM ON THE RIGHT WITH A
SHIRT THAT SAYS BETO.
THIS IS ONLY PROOF THAT GEORGE SOROS FUNDED TIME TRAVEL
TECHNOLOGY TO GET DEMOCRATS INTO THE SENATE.
EVERYONE KNOWS SOROS INVENTED THE HOT TUB TIME MACHINE.
NORMALLY PROGRESSIVES SAY THINGS AREN'T FAIR AND JUST LEAVE IT AT
THAT, THAT'S UNFAIR TO ATTACK HIS NAME -- I'M NOT IN THAT
CAMP, I'M IN THE COUNTERATTACK CAMP.
SO TED CRUZ, YOU FRICKIN'
WEENIE, YOU ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT SOMEONE NOT BEING A REAL
MAN IN TEXAS, I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOU A PICTURE OF A PERSON
WHO HAS THOSE ISSUES IN SPADES.
LET ME SEE THAT, JESUS.
YEAH,
THAT GUY.
IF I WAS BETO O'ROURKE, OR MAYBE I DO HIM A
SOLID AND I RUN THIS ADD FOR HIM ANYWAY, HERE'S A MEME THAT'S
GOING ON THE INTERNET, LET'S SEE THE NEXT PICTURE -- NOT A MAN.
WHEN SOMEONE INSULTS YOUR WIFE AND YOUR DAD, AND BASICALLY
SPITS IN YOUR FACE, AND SAYS WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT,
RAFAEL, AND YOU PHONE BANK FOR HIM LIKE A BROKEN MAN?
DON'T GO
AROUND QUESTIONING ANYONE ELSE'S MASCULINITY.