I'd like to start this review by saying I actually enjoyed The Descent, but I'm gonna spoil the shit out of it,
so watch it if you haven't, and then come back.
The Descent: Part 2 is like a pimple. I don't know why. It just feels like one.
Before I get into it, I'm gonna give you a little context as to why I enjoyed the first movie so much,
it's not perfect but I think it's pretty solid for a horror movie.
The film has a great grasp on tone, and the sets are amazing.
Simon Bowles did a fantastic job as the production designer, and the sets they use, combined with the way they're lit,
could fall almost anyone into thinking this is a real cave.
[clip] Simon's done a fantastic job on the production design,
but we do have a problem of not simply having enough money to, to, um, make the sets stretch throughout the whole story.
On the entrance chamber, it was very, kinda, flat, and all the striations of the rock were very horizontal.
And then, for the, um, cathedral cavern, we've hoisted up that side eight foot, to give it, to make the striations run diagonally.
So hopefully, change the look of it. Also, on the entrance chamber, we had lots of plants growing on it and water pouring down it.
The cathedral cavern was very dry.
[YMS] What I like about The Descent, is that it's not your typical horror movie.
There's no cheesy love story going on with underdeveloped characters you care nothing about.
Believe it or not, there are actually subtleties in the film.
Horror movies use different tactics to scare you, and a lot of them use the same ones over and over,
but I thought The Descent was pretty versatile. It's not just a movie filled with, "Boo! Ha ha! You were startled."
[clip] You can get dehydration, disorientation, claustrophobia, panic attacks, paranoia, hallucinations.
[YMS] The cave environment brings on a feeling of claustrophobia, the lighting is perfect for a horror movie,
and they have the right excuse for it to be dark.
The cinematography is well done, it has a good score that helps set the tone without forcing it on you,
it achieves what it set out to accomplish, and that's the most important.
Again, it's not a perfect movie.
Sure, a girl has a conversation after being stabbed in the throat and the characters could be a little more rounded,
but I think Neil Marshall proved himself with this movie in some way.
What I love about Neil Marshall, is that I know that he enjoys what he's doing.
[clip] I can't get enough of it, it's just the best job in the universe, and, um, I've loved every second of it.
[YMS] Doomsday is terrible but I enjoy it when I'm not taking it seriously. He's just having fun.
And then there's this pimple, and it's not just like a regular pimple,
it's one of those pimples hurts like a bitch, because it's in a place where you don't often get them,
like an ass pimple, except The Descent was a nice ass.
The director is the Oscar-nominated editor for the first film, and maybe he should just stick to editing.
[clip] Christian came up with the idea of Jon, to direct it,
and I just thought that was a brainwave, I thought it was the best suggestion possible.
In terms of somebody who knows the world as well as I do, who sat with me all that time, was on set all the time,
I just thought that was a great idea, and that enabled me to step back and go, "Now I know it's in safe hands. Brilliant."
[YMS] Are they good friends? Is it rude to tell your friend that they raped your baby?
The movie opens up with a big "Fuck you!" to anybody that watched the first movie
Yeah, that's right. Sarah made it out of the cave.
Does it matter that her escape turned out to be a hallucination at the end of the first movie?
Nah, le's just fuck that, and use the American ending where they cut the movie a minute and 15 seconds short because it was "too sad".
So yeah, she makes it out of the cave, then. But they didn't stay consistent with either of these endings.
Like, did she really see the ghost of Juno? And where's her car? She had a working vehicle.
I guess maybe they saw the opening for High Tension, and were like, "Hey, that looks good, let's just do that."
See, the problem with naming it The Descent: Part 2 is that it implies continuity.
Were you trying to trick people into thinking this wasn't just another leach off of an earlier success?
So there's a rescue team looking for the girls at Boreham Caverns, and the writers were like:
"How can we make it so that there's a rescue team looking for them after only, like, two days?"
So they add in that Juno is some senator's niece. Does that even help much?
It's been two days since they left. They went spelunking, it's not like they'll be back in an hour.
Anyways, it's this scene that we're introduced to some new characters,
two of them being extremely underdeveloped characters in a cheesy relationship.
[clip] Hey, you wanna share a sleeping bag?
[YMS] This asshole get a call, and finds out that Sarah's been found.
They get to the hospital to try and get some information out of her, but she's like "LOL, amnesia!"
[clip] - Can you tell us what happened to you? - I don't know.
She has no memory of the last two days. Whatever happened to her, she's blanked it.
[YMS] So let me get this straight, these are two police officers that find one out of six missing people, covered in someone else's blood,
and they just take her word that she doesn't remember anything.
[clip] But she's been in a fight all right. Because judging by her fingernails, she scratched some big chunks out of somebody.
[YMS] Would they take her word for it if she actually remembered, and said cave creatures did it?
[clip] Blood on Sarah Carter's clothes, A positive. General Caplain is A positive.
So? I'm A positive, half the state is A positive.
- Can she walk? - Sure.
- Wait. Wait, you're not seriously gonna take her out.. - Rios, get her dressed, and get her in the car.
[YMS] Oh, so the only reason she has amnesia, is so they have an excuse to put her back in the cave. These cops fucking suck.
So then they get a dog to sniff out which entrance Sarah came out of,
because although they know that the girls aren't in the cave that they're supposed to be in,
for some reason, they assume that they're still in a cave.
How do they know that they were even in a cave? Sarah sure as hell doesn't know where she came from.
Not only does he not lead them to where she apparently came out the first movie at all,
but he totally pretends like he knows where he's going,
and he just happens to wind up at some mine shaft that's connected to the same cave.
Does that mean where she came out it was really, really close by?
Because when they go through the mine entrance, they have to go down a very, very long way to get to where the first movie took place.
So then, this asshole calls the search and rescue characters, telling them to keep it quiet that a dog picked up her scent near a mine.
What a dick!
You're just gonna let all those people continue searching for them, when you know that no-one's in Boreham Caverns?
So the police officers must watch a lot of soap operas, cuz they bring amnesia girl along, and they're like,
"Oh, maybe we can jog your memory."
And at this point, they should realize that their dog is retarded, because they have to cut through a chain to get in the place,
and there's a buncha shit covering the hole. It's a fucking elevator shaft, do they think that she came out of here?
So the rescue leader guys like, "Hey, put your guns in the car. It would be like dynamite, it's in a fucking cave."
And just in case you still don't get that this guy's supposed to be a huge dick, he says "No".
[clip] My gun stays with me.
[YGS] They try to make this old guy really creepy, even though he saved Sarah at the beginning, so they make him wink a little.
"Ooh, so scary!"
They go down the cave, and Sarah starts coughing a little, and this guy's like "Here, have some water."
And just in case you still don't get the police officer's supposed to be a huge dick, he's like, "Don't give her water."
[clip] She's OK.
[YMS] Hey, remember that sequence in the first movie, where you first see the insides the caves?
Each shot fades into the other, implying passage of time, while the scenery slowly sucks you into the story.
The people who made The Descent: Part 2 were like, "Yeah, we can do that." Except they couldn't.
If you're trying to make me feel claustrophobic, maybe you shouldn't be in a huge hallway
So, after some retarded banter between characters that have no character:
[clip] Well you're hot.
[YGS] They ask Sarah if she recognizes anything, and what she should be saying is,
"I have amnesia, and I think it's obvious I didn't come from this way considering the effort we took to getting in."
And then she hallucinates a crawler and they're like, "Don't worry, it's just your mind playing tricks on you. You crazy lady!"
Anyway one of them stumbles across the body of a girl that got eaten by the crawlers in the first film, but why is the body there?
I thought they had a pit where they took all their bodies.
But something that I'd like to point out here, is notice one light source.
Now notice how everything lit anyway. You can't make us feel like we're in a cave when everything's fucking lit with studio lighting.
You were with Neil Marshall on the first film, you should know this.
[clip] I didn't want there to be any, kinda, real gratuitous light sources in this, in these caves.
I mean, it's proving a problem as we're filming it, to suddenly think,
"Well, how are we actually gonna light this scene, because they've only got, you know, a box of matches on them?"
You say "All right, well, we... we use a box of matches. I don't know how we're gonna do it, but we use a box of matches."
Toward the end of the film, now, with, th-they start thinking o... setting things on fire, and it get a bit easier for us!
[YMS] It was a rarity to see extra lighting in the first film, but this movie is just overkill.
[clip] You have to strip them of, of their weapons. You've gotta take away the light, that's when it becomes scary,
and, and I think, sort of, the sending in Marines thing, no.
Subtitles by JorWat