Woah, woah, woah, good boy. Woah, good boy.
Our target was five to six miles an hour,
but on the first day, we hadn't done anything like that.
Been on the go 10 hours.
We've done 36 miles.
Not good. Not good news.
The problem is, we're standing on sea ice.
It means it has salt in it, so it's incredibly grippy.
The sledge can hardly move.
I've been skiing for about nine and a half hours of those 10.
I'm broken.
With us, of course, things were more civilized.
As you know, what I'm trying to do with this mission
is prove that Arctic exploration needn't be tough.
Which brings me onto the delicate question of number twos.
You see, what a traditional polar explorer would do
is simply go out there and squat down like an animal.
What I've done though is fitted this bumper dumper
into the tow bar attachment and now I will try it out.
Ooh-wooh, that's nippy.
James, meanwhile, was on guard duty.
James, are you showing off or are you actually looking for bears over there?
Because I can't run.
Oh, Bartlett, not on the ropes!
-Matty? -Yeah?
How many poos a day do these dogs need to have?
I'd say two.
It's 10. It's 10 each at least.
Sometimes I'd look forward to the sledge bogging down,
so I could get out of the poo stream and run alongside.
...take it up.
Meanwhile, James was breaking out the elevenses.
-Chocolate bars. -Ooh, chocolate, yes.
Look, that one is called Big.
-I'll have one. -Have a Big.
We should say, if you're watching this, this is not just gluttony.
We have genuinely have been told by our experts
that if you are trekking across the Arctic,
you need 5000 calories a day,
so we're only too happy to shove that much in.
I'm not certain when they told us we needed 5000 calories a day
that we weren't in a slightly warm car sitting down, but better to be safe.
After our morning snack, James found my Jesus.
-Why have you brought Jesus? -What?
Why have you brought Jesus?
The Jesus, I thought, could sit in the car
and guide us in our hours of need if we ever have one.
-It's a Jesus action figure. -Yes.
-There's a map on the back to guide us. -To Galilee?
I was now back on the skis and starting to get the hang of it.
Today, Richard, you've got to learn how to pee on the move.
-Pee on the move? -Yeah.
Watch out.
I'm not on. Matty!
We, meanwhile, had reached the vast, uninhabited wilderness of Bathurst Island.
And we were going, if anything, even faster.
Our lead over Hammond kept getting bigger and bigger.
He's the plucky Brit, and like all plucky Brits,
he'll come in second.
I was now over 50 miles behind, but Matty had come up with a plan.
We know we haven't got the edge on speed, so we need to use tactics.
This is what we're going to do. It's now about 8:00 at night.
We've run all day. We've made brilliant progress.
We'll put these guys to bed, we've chained them all up.
They'll gonna have a sleep. They'll only do so for about three hours.
Then we'll get up again, and then we can run at night.
It's cooler for the dogs, they prefer it.
They love the colder temperatures because they can run faster and harder.
And so, in the early hours of the morning,
when the temperature had dropped to minus 35,
we roused the dogs and ran.
The silence is beautiful.
Then, suddenly...
I think it caught our scent earlier on in the day,
followed our tracks, but whether or not, it's just hanging around,
and picked up the scent now as it comes downwind.
As I was pinned down by the bear, Team G&T were getting away.
Clarkson!
I know it's you, you insufferable oaf! I'm on the bloody throne!
We ate up the miles...
and discussed how we'd celebrate when we made the Pole.
So, of all the things you could have brought,
champagne, whatever it might be, you've brought a tin of Spam?
Yes.
And then we, too, encountered a bear.
Oh, it's got babies!
Sweet!
Not being Attenborough, I couldn't think of anything else to say.
So we set off and, with a bit of divine guidance...
I am the vine, you are the branches.
If a man remains in me, and I in him,
he will bear much fruit.
We made it uneaten to the other side of the island.
I mean, look at that. That's not bad, is it?
Absolutely astonishing.