-Here's how it works.
we each have two envelopes containing confessions.
One is true. The other is a lie.
Once you read your confession,
the other two players get to interrogate you,
and then they have to come up with a unanimous decision.
Is it the truth, or is it a lie?
-Ooh. -[ Chuckles ]
-Matthew, you'll go first. -Ooh.
What envelope should he open, number one or number two?
-Oh, which one. -I think we should say...
-Number two. -...number two.
-Yeah, yeah. -Number two.
-Two.
-See what we've got here.
I once ate... [ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ] I once ate peyote
in a cage with a mountain lion.
[ Laughter ]
-Okay. Can I start with a question?
-Yes, of course.
-What in God's name is peyote?
[ Laughter ] -Oh, I know.
Peyote is, like, some type of hallucinogenic.
-It's a spiritual -- -Oh, it's a drug.
-You were in a c-- What year was this?
-What year was this? -Yeah, when was it?
-14 years ago.
-Yeah, and how could you be in a cage with a mountain lion?
-Well, that was the easy part.
[ Laughter ]
-Did the mountain lion take any peyote.
-[ Laughs ] -I will say this --
four hours later, the mountain lion was
cuddled up with me and purring.
-He's such a good actor. I'm freaking out. Uh, wait.
What would make you do this? And was it a mistake?
-No, it was one of the more thrilling escapades
of my life, actually. [ Laughter ]
-Did you pay someone to do this?
-No, no, this was just me and the mountain lion.
-Do you take a lot of drugs? -It was not filmed. [ Laughs ]
-No, I do not.
-What do you think?
-Well, I think he is quite druggy so...
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Right, but peyote with a mountain lion is dangerous,
so he could be a little dangerous, too.
-He may have thought he saw a lion.
-I'm going to go with true.
-Okay. I'll say true, as well.
-That is true.
[ Cheers and applause ] -[ Laughing ] Wait, what?
-What?!
-Are you kidding me?
-It was in Mexico, if that helps
to believe the story. -Oh, in Mexico.
-Ah, of course. Anything happens...
Are you serious? -Yes.
Were you freaking out?
-No, that's why it worked out.
[ Laughter ]
If I would have freaked out,
it probably wouldn't have worked out.
-Was the lion menacing at any stage?
-At the beginning. -Wow.
-But we got on the same frequency.
[ Laughter ]
-Alright, alright, alright. -Oh, my God!
-We got on the mammalian frequency
and things all -- like I said,
he ended up purring...
-Oh, my... -...just scratching him
behind the ears four hours later.
Everyone should try it at least once.
-Alright. Which one should I open, One or two.
-Two, two! -One! One! One!
-One? -[ Laughs ]
-One.
-I got hit by a car at full speed and survived.
[ Chuckles ] -No, you didn't.
No, you didn't.
What's full speed?
Like a Matchbox car? -I'd say probably...
-Hot wheels?
Regular size automobile? -Yeah, sure.
Regular size.
I'd say it was like an SUV, maybe.
-SUV, maybe.
-It was going very fast. -What year was this?
-I'd say it was probably 10 years ago maybe --
-Were you doing peyote?
[ Laughter ]
-No, I was not doing peyote.
-Did you go under the car or over the top?
-[ Chuckles ] -A minor detail --
-Are you picturing me flipping over it?
No, you know what happened, is I -- No, I didn't --
I didn't -- -[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
-I kind of grazed it.
I grazed the mirror.
-So, it didn't really hit you at full speed.
-I spun around, and my shoes came off.
[ Laughter ]
-You were in flip-flops, though.
-No, I was into, like, clogs at this time.
-Ah, they were untied anyway, though.
-They were tied up. -Mm!
-What else were you wearing besides clogs?
-[ Chuckles ] I was wearing jeans.
-Did you have underwear on under those jeans.
-Yeah, for a moment.
No, I did, yeah. -Were those underwear the --
Were they still clean after the collision?
-Yeah, no. -Questions --
-The story is false. It's false.
-It is false.
-For a start, you weren't really hit.
If anything, you were brushed. -It just nicked you.
[ Laughter ] -The story is true.
I did get hit by an SUV going like 60 in Manhattan.
We were leaving a bar with my friend, who works here.
He can actually vouch for me.
And I'm leaving, and I was like, "I'll get a cab,"
and I walked into the street, and this car went --
And it was just speeding down,
and I ripped the mirror off the car
because it was going that fast.
-How is your arm? -I had a giant gash.
-Could it have been deliberate? Was it Colbert?
[ Laughter ] -It was not --
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Stephen Colbert...
This is before we had shows on at the same time.
He would never do that to me back then.
Alright, here we go. Hugh, it is your turn.
Oh, yeah. One or two?
-2.
-2. -2 again.
Alright.
As a child, I had a compulsion
to stick apple peel up my nose,
and I spent many happy hours having it removed
by London's finest doctors.
[ Laughter ]
-This already sounds very true.
[ Laughter ]
-How old were you? How old were you?
-I was 34.
[ Laughter ]
I guess I was 5 or so. -But why would you --
'Cause you had no toys? Were you bored?
You wanted to see what would happen?
-I think I know what it was.
I had an uncle who used to do that thing,
where he wanted to pick his nose,
but he was too polite,
so he used to do it with a sort of hanky, you know,
and I think I was impressed.
why I transferred from hanky to apple peel,
I don't know, but I did,
and I quite enjoyed the experience,
and I repeated it. -So, wait. You kept shoving --
Did Mom or Dad know you had them up your nose?
-Yeah, I'd say, "I've done it again,"
and back we went
to the ear, nose, and throat specialist.
-Damn it, Hugh, you've done it again.
You've done it again. -Yeah.
-I think it happened.
-[ Laughing ] You do? -I think it's true, right?
I think he's --
I think he's pulling our Johnson.
-He's saying false. He said it didn't happen.
I agree with Matthew. It did not happen.
-Well, of course it happened.
Of course it did.
-It did happen.
[ Laughter, applause ]
Bad kid. You're a bad child.
You're a bad child.
Our thanks to Matthew McConaughey,
Hugh Grant.