Who are you? And how well do you know yourself?
Right? This is a really important question.
We hear this in movies. We hear this on television.
Also, in the media how when a warrior is about to fight the most intensive battle of his or her life,
that it's fundamental that they know themselves and that's how they win
the battle, knowing themselves as a warrior.
Right. The same thing is true in the workplace, right?
To be able to answer, who am I?
And who, what am I all about? How to know yourself?
And not allowing yourself to be defined by other people.
This is emotional intelligence.
Right. You hear about this in the workplace. You hear about this in terms of how to be effective
as a leader, it’s all in the arena of emotional intelligence.
What does that mean? Right, having a high EQ,
emotional quotient means that first and foremost,
I know who I am, and I know what I'm all about.
So whenever you hear that question in terms of who are you, I want to hear from you,
right? Who are you right now? How would you answer that question?
Comment below. Share with me. What is the first thing that comes to your mind?
Or how have you been answering that question
when people ask you, who are you? Right?
Most people respond with their name, right?
Who are you? Right? My name is Grace. And immediately
they go onto the common things like my job title.
Here's what I do for a living. Here's what I do at my work.
Right? Some of them go on to share about their accolades.
Here are my credentials, some of the notable
achievements that I've had along my career
and those are the more common ways to respond to the question,
who am I. Right? And however,
when you think about it, who are you is not the same as what you do,
right? What you do, your job title, that is what you do.
But it by no means is your identity,
right? The question of who you are is a question of identity.
And that's what happens is that most times we end up tying our identity so much in what we do that
if anything were to happen in our career paths,
for example, if we were to have experienced a loss of employment
or anything happened at our workplace,
that questions our ability, to grow our ability to be able to feel proud of our achievements,
that becomes an existential crisis often times.
When we begin to question. We begin to feel unhappy with ourselves, doubt
ourselves, lack self-confidence. That's what happens that consequence
if what we do is completely and directly tied to our identity.
Which is what I want to get you to think about whenever you're asking that question,
you want to develop your emotional intelligence.
What is the question of who are you?
And what are you all about?
There's a concept where it is identity versus your role, and the two are not to be intermingled.
Having a confident realization and awareness of who you are means that
you know where you begin and where you end. And that your role is not tied to your identity.
And that way, anything that happens in your career path,
that could be outside of your control does not therefore tear apart your identity
and you still have your confidence
intact, you still have your self-esteem intact
and you still know your own worth because your identity is not tied to your role,
and your identity is not tied to your education,
your credentials, your accolades as well.
Right. And there's why this happens. As children,
we grow up. And no matter what background you come from,
what culture you were born into, what country you
therefore grew up in, it is the same as a human requirement.
It’s a human need a basic human need that we have a need for attachment.
What happens when we're growing up and sometimes as children,
depending on your environment, as children,
our primary need is to have an attachment need to a relationship and usually it's our parents.
We don't want to lose that relationship with our parents
because we need a sense of being loved, a sense of belonging.
That is the attachment the human attachment need,
but oftentimes, the need for attachment is at odds with our also our other basic human need,
the need for authenticity. But if you look at it,
those are the two basic needs is that we need that attachment
relationship to be loved to have security protection.
And, and to know that we belong in this environment in this family.
At the same time, there's a need to be authentic, to know that my emotions are valid, to feel
understood and loved regardless of how I feel and that's authenticity.
And so therefore to feel empowered and to feel not disempowered, to share
this is what I'm going through. these are my experiences, that is our need for authenticity.
But oftentimes, we grow up in an environment where the two are at odds with each other.
And here's what I mean by that, if you grow up and being authentic
means that the people that we value, being in that attachment relationship with, they sometimes
can’t handle our emotions, sometimes, they can't handle our experiences and therefore,
we question, If I share my truth and what I'm feeling it can,
it could stand, it could possibly be at stake.
It could cause some sort of disruption in my attachment relationships.
Then the first thing we do is we give up our authenticity. And that is really understandable.
If I feel threatened that if I share my experiences
and my truths as a child and in so doing it could hinder my relationship,
my attachment relationships with my parents or my guardians.
Then, of course, that attachment relationship is far too important.
And what ends up happening is more often than not is,
we give up our authenticity. And this happens months turn into years, years
turn into decades. And now as adults, we've lost touch with our emotions.
What exactly are we feeling? And why do we feel this way?
And this goes into our identity. We no longer feel empowered to understand,
who am I? And what am I all about?
And so we grow up not knowing who we are, and that's where the origin of it begins.
Okay. So in this discovery process
and it's not so much of a discovery process because your identity is there,
it's already has been there. We just need to be able to articulate it.
And before we can articulate it in ways that are empowering
and ways that others can truly understand
and appreciate, we must first appreciate that in ourselves. And the first step
in becoming authentic and having awareness of who I am without answering on job
titles names, what we do in accolades, the first step to doing that is knowing our values.
Know your values. What are they?
And we grow up with a lot of values that have been
projected onto us that aren't our true values.
Let me give you a prime example of that, for example,
growing up in the environment that I did, the values that were projected onto me
that was that in order for me to be successful,
and to be motivated, and to be able to have a worthy life,
I needed to become a doctor, a lawyer,
an accountant, or a dentist. And those were the chosen career paths
that were admirable, if I wanted to make something of my life. And those were the values,
an example of the values that were projected onto me,
as I was growing up. And it could be true.
This could be the exact same values that you've received as well,
but there could be some others and we're not aware of them, we don't know to question it.
So we grow up, adopting by default other people's values that from the people that we admire
or that we want to be in attachment relationships with or that we feel that they're an authority,
or some entity or some person in our life that we have this relationship with,
we end up adopting those values by default
and we believe that that is what we have valued all along.
So that becomes what we should do.
This is what I should do. This is the direction my career should go and that just becomes what we choose.
That's how we think, that's how we believe.
And that's what we end up choosing, thinking,
feeling, and choosing. So then, as a result of that,
we grow up and as we age,
we can look back on what we've achieved in our lives.
And maybe we feel that this isn’t our most inspired career path.
This isn't where I want it to be. I don't know how I ended up here.
I don't know how I ended up here. I just ended up here and now I don't want to start from scratch.
I don't want to start from the beginning.
What do I do? And that's a result of not knowing what we value.
We have these injected values. But here's the thing.
If we want, if you want to have an empowered life,
all aspects of your life, not just career, relationships,
health and fitness, finance, right?
And career as well. It is pertinent it’s absolutely crucial
for you to know who you are with respects to your values.
Only then can you be empowered on all aspects of your life.
Because if you're not empowered in your career path,
if you're not empowered in your values, you're going to be told
what to think, you're going to be told what to believe.
You're also going to be told what to eat, who to marry and so on.
So, who are you and what are you all about?
First and foremost, it is about being powerful,
being whole and being complete within yourself.
Uncover what is it that is true about you.
What is your truth? And if you're somebody
who's serious about being empowered
in all aspects of your life and you want to take your career to the next level,
you want to be able to articulate who you are in a way that feels true, that
you know is authentic without faking
it, pretending to be somebody you're not and you're ready to take that to the next level.
You're serious about that. Then I invite you to book a call with me. In
the link below this video in the description,
there's a link for you to book a call
and that is where I'll work with you to help you to have clarity, to help you know
who you are. So that you can articulate the value
you have to bring in your industry in your field, and achieve your most meaningful goals.
This is for you, if you're serious about taking your life and your career to the next level.
This is not for you however, this is not for you
if you're at the beginning of your career, if you're still trying
to figure out which direction you want to go
or if you just want career clarity,
then this is not for you yet. This is only for you
if you are established and you're kind of like on this point where you’re
questioning, is this really where I want to be? Right.
Should I pivot? I'm not feeling completely fulfilled where I'm at today,
but I know I want to do something more something profound with my life.
Then this is for you. Book a call and I look forward to seeing you on the inside.
So knowing your truth, uncover
what is true about you that will always be true about you,
no matter what happens. And no matter what others say and do, primarily is about understanding
your true values. Not other people's values that you have accepted without questioning
and building your life of
beliefs and feelings and choosing around other people's values,
but knowing what your values are will inform
who you are. Because who you are is somebody that is dynamic.
You're not just your job. You're not just your what you do,
you're not just your education or your credentials.
There are a set of beliefs. There are philosophies.
There are that are all formulated based upon your values. That makes up who you are.
And when you articulate that, guess what? You don't have to pretend to be somebody
you're not, you don't have to fake it until you make it and you can be unafraid
of losing attachment relationships to sacrifice your authenticity
again. This is empowerment and from that space of knowledge of who you are and the truth about you,
this is where you can choose in ways that will always be inspiring to you.
That will always be fulfilling to you without questioning it, without wondering
how did I end up here again? And this is possible for you and that is a worthy goal for this
year and beyond. So I want to hear from you.
If you're serious about this, right? Like I said before,
comment below and share with me.
What has your response been in terms of who you are?
And also make a commitment to yourself to have this clarity in genuinely answering the question
for yourself.
Not for anybody else. And I look forward to hanging out with you again in my next video.