And when you want to cold approach, should you still do it if you if the girl has headphones
in?
Because I know personally, that's a sign of someone who doesn't want to be approached.
Does that make sense?
Yes it does.
My answer is you should approach anytime you want to approach.
Because my question is this, even if she has headphones in, why wouldn't you approach?
The reason why I wanted to clarify that is because when someone has headphones in, usually
that's a universal sign.
No, no, I get that I get that part.
But what I'm asking you is, why are you still not doing it?
What are you afraid of?
Why aren't you doing it?
Straight up in that instance.
It's just like if I go ahead and do the open, make that approach, it might like there's
a bigger possibility that people end up being either a rejection or possibly getting a negative
response.
That says to me that you're still scared of rejection and you're scared of the negative
response or you don't want that.
Yeah, I mean, that's definitely part of it.
Yeah.
That means that you're only seeking out positive responses.
So you're tiptoeing around it all to just get the positive responses.
So yeah.
No, please.
What we're you gonna say?
I don't know.
Yeah, I was just gonna say yeah, with the with the whole headphone situation.
Yeah.
You got to train yourself not to care.
Gotcha, gotcha.
So is that with the whole thing that you normally talk about with the whole systematic desensitization?
Exactly.
Yes.
You just got to go out and approach, some are going to reject you.
Some are not.
It really doesn't matter.
Because you're going to get rejected.
You cannot go through this process and try to avoid it.
What's going to happen is you might end up getting rejected one day and because you're
not used to the rejection, it's going to scar you and it's going to hurt you more.
You got to get numb to it.
And beyond that, just because she has her headphones, you never know.
It could still work out.
So more reason to do the approach anyway even if she doesn't give you a choosing signal
or on IOI or whatever is you don't know for sure if she's actually going to reject you.
You're just coming up with that in your head.
Don't wait for choosing signals.
Don't wait for indicators, just go up say hi.
See what happens.
Gotcha sounds good, man.
And then a second super quick question.
Say that you're getting a you see a group of four or five girls and there's one of them
in there who either just looks cute and you want to go approach or if she's offering signals
or whatever the case may be.
To go ahead and approach that girl in your opinion do you think it's better to open with
the group as a whole or first start by addressing that one girl?
I would address that one girl first.
The one girl first and then slowly opening up with the rest of them in conversation?
Exactly.
Start with her.
Because you're not going up to talk to the group and be social.
That's kind of weird.
It's actually more weird to go up to a group and be like hey everybody.
It's like what what's going on right now?
Just go up to the girl that you're interested in, start talking to her and then let everyone
in as necessary as you need to as you're approaching and talking to her.
It's a little bit harder, it takes practice, but that's the best way to do it.
Alright, awesome.
Thank you so much for the help.
I appreciate it.
You're welcome, man.
Thanks for calling.
Yeah, for sure.