-Welcome, welcome, welcome to
"The Tonight Show," everybody.
You're here. Thank you for watching.
[ Cheers and applause ] I appreciate it.
Let's get to some news, guys.
President Biden's approval rating continues to slide.
Yeah. And a new poll found that since taking office,
the biggest drop in support has been among young voters.
Yeah. Though, to Biden, I'm pretty sure
a young voter is just a voter.
Then Biden said,
"So this means I'm doing okay with older voters?"
And his staff was like, "Oh, goodness no, no."
Speaking of Biden, I read,
as fuel prices continue to surge,
The White House is considering a temporary suspension
of the federal gas tax.
Yeah, they're considering it, so...
take your time, gang.
You can tell president is on the older side when he's like,
"What if we give everyone a quarter?"
Yep, the economy has really been struggling lately.
I saw that the stock market is now in its biggest free fall
since the start of the pandemic.
Right now, the ticker on CNBC is just showing the lyrics to
"Everybody Hurts."
Meanwhile, since stocks are all down,
I saw that CNN suggested investing in baseball cards.
Did you hear this?
Yeah. I guess their chief financial strategist
is a 10-year-old from 1986.
Then, to battle rising food prices,
they recommend eating the gum inside
the pack of baseball cards.
Hey, get this.
A new study found that staring at yourself
during Zoom calls can put you in a bad mood.
[ Laughter ]
You know what else about Zoom calls put you in a bad mood?
Being on Zoom calls. Yeah.
Yeah, it's better to stare at your co-worker
who thinks a Zoom call is the ideal time to eat Greek yogurt.
You think the visual is bad, the audio -- Just mute yourself.
Hey, I want to say congrats to Post Malone,
who just welcomed a new baby girl.
[ Cheers and applause ] Post!
Congrats.
Yep.
We've actually got a picture of her right here.
-Stop!
♪♪
♪ Don't do it, Jimmy ♪
♪ Don't bring yourself disgrace ♪
♪ Don't show a baby ♪
♪ With tattoos Photoshopped on its face ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-But I wanna.
♪♪
-♪ Don't do this, Jimmy ♪
♪ Have you no self-esteem? ♪
♪ That joke's too easy ♪
♪ Open your mind and dream ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-But we -- we already made the graphic.
♪♪
-♪ Oh, simple Jimmy ♪
♪ Heed my words, hear my cry ♪
♪ You're better than this joke ♪
♪ Now spread your wings and fly ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Are you done?
-Yeah, yeah. Pretty much. -Okay.
Well, anyway, here's Post Malone's baby.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-[ Laughing ] Damn!
Alright. Alright. That -- that's cool.
-That's not bad.
Tariq Trotter, ladies and gentlemen, right there.
That's not bad. [ Cheers and applause ]
I don't know if you guys saw this, but earlier this morning,
one of our local NBC anchors, Michael Gargiulo,
had a little trouble getting through
the traffic report.
And we thought we would be nice
if we aired it again on our show.
-Oh. -So check it out.
-Good morning. A live look here at
the George Washington Bridge.
As you can see,
some delays getting across the span right now.
[ Voice breaking ] Coming up on 9:59 --
excuse me -- on this Tuesday, June 14th.
[ Coughs ]
[ Hoarsely ] We'll take a quick break and we'll be right back.
[ Laughter ]
-You never know when puberty is going to strike.
You know, that's what I say.
When they returned from the break,
he showed everyone the furball he coughed up, yeah.
Hey, I heard about two chefs
who just set a pretty impressive world record.
Watch this.
-A pair of chefs just made the world's largest chicken nugget.
They used 40 pounds of ground chicken,
20 slices of white bread, 40 eggs to bind it all together.
-Mm. At that point, they're really
taking liberty with the word "nugget."
Yeah, that story again. They made a chicken cake.
Yeah, they made a chicken...
Hey, guys, finally, it is time for "WeTweet."
It's Tuesday. Here we go.
-♪ WeTweet ♪
♪ WeTweet ♪ [ Cheers and applause ]
-Welcome to "WeTweet."
This is where we, as a group,
decide something that we should post on Twitter.
I'm going to show you five different tweets, and we're all
going to vote on whether you like each one or not.
You all have voting clickers at your seats.
You see them there? Yep.
You can vote for all of them.
You can vote for none of them.
You don't have to participate if you don't want to.
But we'll see the results live, and then we will tweet it.
And then whatever tweet gets the most likes, we will tweet it out
and then you at home can "WeTweet" it.
[ Cheers and applause ] Yeah, thank you.
It's a shared experience.
You guys ready for this? Higgins, you have your clicker?
-I got my clicker. -Tariq? Roots?
-Got my clicker. -Tariq, you've been on fire.
-Yeah, I have. That I have.
[ Laughter ] -I mean with this.
With "WeTweet," you've been choosing the tweet
that gets the most votes.
You've been picking them.
-I understood what you meant. Yes, I agree.
-Well, here we go.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, Jimmy. -The first tweet is...
♪♪ -Wow.
-I could already tell. [ Laughter ]
I could already tell by everyone's -- The clickers
aren't even up, and everyone just went like --
[ Laughter ] "We're not voting for that one."
It's alright. We started off a little slow.
Maybe we'll gain momentum. I don't know.
[ Laughter ] I can already --
What do you think the results are going to be?
This one's rough.
-I think it's going to be pretty low.
I'm thinking like -- -I would say probably maybe --
-30 people said yes.
-Oh, I think lower. What do you think?
-Lower, yeah. I'mma say 15. -Yeah.
I'm going to say 15 people enjoyed it, as well.
I'm going with Tariq. -Okay, let's see.
-The votes are in. Let's see the results.
42! Hey, not bad.
Overwhelmingly, people did not enjoy that.
-Overwhelmingly bad. -Yeah.
But this next one's -- -Oh, this is a good one.
-I do like this one. -Okay.
-I think this one has a chance. -Okay.
-This tweet says...
[ Laughter ] ♪♪
-I like that one. -You're not going to --
-Yeah. -You're not going to do the nub?
-It's like, "Hello!" -Yeah, it's like --
I think this one's gonna be okay.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Let's see the results on this one.
Yeah, look at that!
I knew it. I told you. ♪♪
-155.
[ Laughter ]
-It was a new chord. -A new chord.
That was amazing. You invented a new chord.
♪♪
[ Laughter ] Wow.
-That's the end of the bread right there.
-Yes, the end of the bread.
That's the name of the chord.
E.B. -That's a lost chord.
-Alright. Next one here. This one says...
-Working too hard. ♪♪
-I feel like the audience is getting too picky now.
[ Laughter ]
They don't get much better.
-I thought they thought there were too many verbs in that one.
-Yeah, no. Now I'm going to say I like it
just to see if I can get the number up a little bit.
-Okay, so you get one more. -Yeah, yeah.
-I'm going to say 60.
-Yeah, let's see the results on this one.
Yeah. [ Sad tuba plays ]
People did not enjoy that one. I understand.
Was it the shrinking to get into a car?
-I think it was too many words. -Yeah, too many words.
Too long, too long. -You had to think.
-Yep, yeah. It's a thinker.
-I liked the bread one. -I know you did.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
Tariq, did you like the bread one?
-Yeah. The bread one was dece.
-Yeah. -This one here --
-Quest, did you like the bread one?
-I enjoyed it.
-Let's not go around to everybody.
[ Laughter ] How many do we have left?
Two more left? Or one more?
-Two. -We have two more left.
Okay, great. So this is -- If you haven't done anything...
[ Laughter ]
...now's the time to do it. -The next two's are winner.
These are two winners. -This one's pretty good.
-Okay. Pretty good?
Alright.
-I don't know if this one's beating bread,
but it's pretty good. -Okay.
-This one says...
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-Hold it.
Hold it. Not yet. Hold it.
♪♪
[ Laughter ]
-See, in your mind, like,
you saw the squatter as the photographer.
-I saw it as the person getting the picture taken.
-The subject. Like, in the picture, you're posing.
-Like they had to get down low. -Yeah.
-I did both. -Ohh.
[ Laughter ]
-Camera wasn't on me for the other one.
-Oh, okay, you were acting out both roles.
-And then I figured I'm holding this,
I might as well improvise.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. So first, you started with that
on the bottom, because, like, get down low --
-I'm getting down low. I'm in the group photo.
I'm like, "Hurry up and take the photo."
-Then you became the photographer.
-Well, it didn't get much of a reaction,
so I go -- [ Laughter ]
Maybe I'll just turn it into that.
And then I try to make it that.
And I added more to the scene. -I like this.
-Yes, and, yes, and. -Yes, yes.
-That's what I learned in improv class.
-They were too far apart. -Alright.
[ Drumroll ]
Let's see the results.
-Oh! [ Cheers and applause ]
-Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing!
-Winner! Winner!
-Really? -190!
-Boing boing right there for you.
-I think you sold it. That's why.
-Oh, you think it was my photographer?
-Yeah, I think it was your acting prowess.
-"Yo, Jimmy, could you do the photographer character?"
[ Laughter ]
-"And now do the guy getting their picture taken."
♪♪ [ Camera shutter clicks ]
-Okay. This one's pretty good, too.
-Hmm. We'll be the judge of that.
-Alright. -We shall see.
-Get ready. Get ready for this. I don't know.
Alright, this last one says...
[ Laughter ]
I'm going -- I think -- -Come on. I'mma say 100%.
-100%? -Yeah.
-100%? -Come on!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Come on!
-It's getting applause. It's getting applause.
-Yeah. That's called a truth.
-Alright, here we go.
Alright. Tariq? This one's --
I think it's the winner.
Let's see the results.
[ Cheers and applause ] [ Dinging ]
That's it, two hundy!
That's the winner right there.
I will post this tweet during the commercial break.
If you see it on your feed, give it a like,
give it a "wetweet," and enjoy.