(Dead inside) Hi.
My name is Markiplier, and today, I'm going to be telling you all about the wonderful world
of slime.
Now, slime is all the rage these days.
The kids love it. They're making it in their backyards, in their basements, all by their lonesome.
And I wanted to share with you my very own recipe for slime.
All you'll need are a few simple ingredients you can get in any department store.
You've got Elmer's glue,
shaving cream, the special ingredient...
"Borax"
*not coke*
...and some warm water.
Now these ingredients combined into a wonderful concoction make the wondrous material of slime.
And it's as simple as this: you start out with some regular old glue. Pour that bad boy into a bowl.
Now, if this is taking too long, and you're not getting enough volume out of your squirt
Just pop the lid off and pour that bad boy right in.
That's a nice glob. How about little for Daddy?
[choking]
You're gonna need about... this much glue.
Alright, make sense? Now, once you're done with the glue-
*picks up and observes the bottle*
*squash*
[bottle thrown into trash can]
Once you're done with the glue,
Then you move on to the shaving cream.
Now, it needs to be thick and foamy.
The foamier your cream additive, the more foamy the slime will be. Now,
you just take it, shake it up real good like...
[awkward silence]
...and blam.
You got yourself some slime.
How about a little for Bepis? Chica, come here! Come on.
Good girl. Alright, we got our two ingredients here. We just need to add a little bit of what's called...
"Borax", which has a
"bonding agent" called "bor-ik ass-ad".
Once you put that in there - you don't need a lot,
just enough to give it a nice dusting,
and hopefully this doesn't combust.
Which would be amazing!
Ordinarily, you would use a spoon for this because this is going to be extremely caustic to your hand.
It's uh, these ingredients when they're mixing together,
They're extremely acidic, so it's not recommended that you use your hand and mix it.
*proceeds to mix it with his hand anyway*
That's really coming together!
Alright, now that's a good consistency right there.
Very malleable. If your ratio's a little off,
just feel free to add or remove as necessary.
Now,
the last step,
Uh, in order to appease the Dark Gods, is, you need to take your knife--
--Any old knife will do. Even a kitchen knife,
so long as it's sharp enough-- and then uh,
just cut the center of your palm,
and, uh,
Let that seep into the concoction while you whisper the words of power, very tenderly.
T̶h̷e̶y s̷ha҉l͟ļ ͜ris͘e͡.
Th҉e҉y ͢sh҉all͠ c̕on͠s͏u̕m̵e.
Al͘҉ļ͟҉ ̴͠w̷͡i҉͏l̵͘l̷ ̴b͞e̵ ̷͟͠l̴͞o̸̡śţ ̕w͘h́͜è͞n̷͜ ͘th̡èy̵͝ ͏r̶i͠s̀͝e̶ ҉̕fr͘ò͠ḿ̴̢ ̵̶th̡͜e̕ ̴̶́d͘͟͠a̴̶̢r̢͠kne͏ss̀͠ ̨̕o̸͞f̷̡͘ ͏̴t̕ḩ̵e ̨ó͢ć͏ę̢a҉n.̸̴̶
M̷a̶̷̡͟͝d̴̷̨͠n͏͘͢e̢̕͝͝s̸̴̀̕s̵̡͠ ̡́́͞ǫ̶p̧̡͟͡͝ę̶̕n̵͟͜͡s͏͢͟ ̸́̀͜͞u̶͟͝͠ṕ͜͝ ̷͢͢͡͡ţ̸̨͘͘o͠͏ ̷̵e͟͠͠͝v̴͠͏̸e̷̡͢͡r̸̨͠͏͝y̴̵̢͏t҉̡҉͡ḩ̷͏͘͜i̢n̴͜g̨͡.̶
And then, you have your slime!
Some nice, foamy, slimy substance.
Look at that - it's so fun!
That's good stuff right there.
Alright, so there you have it.
You have some lovely slime for your whole family to enjoy,
and we all get to enjoy three years of peace,
before the Dark Gods consume us all.
Thank you guys again for watching,
my name has been Markiplier, and as always,
I'll see you in the next one
Bye-bye!
[splat and thump sound]
*what am i doing with my life?*
*it's 2am and im adding subtitles to a parody video about slime*
*mark probably feels the same way*
*oh well*
[gasping for air]
[jazzy music]
Now you may be wondering how these ingredients can combine together into the ectoplasmic nature of slime.
Well,
it's as simple as misks eenngh mlem d'gether.
I'm gonna start all that over again...
The kids are all about slime these days. It's not just about...
dabbing
I hate myself. (same)
Now you may be asking yourself, "What is slime?"
Or is it pronounced "sli-may?"
No it's not - fuck.
Hi.
Amy: [off-screen] Be funny!
Shut up, I got this!
[slam slam slam]
I'm sorry I didn't mean to tell you to shut up... I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Okay.
Now if you don't know about slime or haven't watched Nickelodeon in the past 20 years...
...It's all the rave with the kids these days.
They're making it for themselves in their own backyards,
in RVs on the metherler the desert--
[clicking tongue]
Amy: [off-screen] All the rave, or all the rage?
Kill me.
Just kill me.
Straight-up kill me.