>> James: GOOD EVENING, WELCOME!
BLESS YOU FOR COMING. LOOK AT THIS, NEW FACES, NEW
FACES! WOW!
OUR FIRST SHOW BACK FROM SPRING BREAK.
REG, WHAT DID YOU DO? >> Reggie: IT WAS SO CRAZY.
BRAD WAS ALL LIKE IN MY FACE, WE WERE LIKE SORRY, IT WAS RAD!
>> James: WOW, LOOK AT THAT, I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT, I'LL BE
HONEST. WHAT ABOUT YOU?
ANYTHING FUN? >> DAYTONA BEACH!
>> James: DID YOU REALLY? >> NO, NO.
>> James: I KNEW YOU DIDN'T. >> I WENT TO CHICAGO FOR A
SOLEMN AND LOVELY PASSOVER WITH MY FIANCEE'S FAMILY.
[ SHIP HORN ] >> James: I DON'T KNOW, I
DON'T KNOW, EVERYONE DID STUFF FUN, EVERYONE DID FUN STUFF.
EVERYONE DID STUFF FUN. >> WHAT STUFF FUN DID YOU DO
OVER THE BREAK? >> James: I HANG OUT A BIT.
I WENT TO SEE GUILLERMO LIVE IN THE DESERT.
>> DESERT GUILLERMO. >> James: I WENT TO
GUILLERMO. I WENT TO COACHELLA.
A FEW OF US WENT TOGETHER AND WENT TO COACHELLA.
>> YOU DRESSED PRETTY SLUTTY OR HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
>> James: I WORE WHAT I'M WEARING NOW, BUT WITH SORT OF A
MESH DRESS OVER IT. YES, WENT TO CELLA, TOO MUCH
DUST. SAW YOUR BOY STYLES!
(APPLAUSE) >> James: VERY GOOD, VERY
GOOD, FELT LIKE A PROUD DAD. WHICH WAS OUGHT BECAUSE I WAS
WITH WITH MY CHILDREN. MAX REALLY WANTED TO WATCH MEGAN
THE AT THAT T STALLION. MAX IS LERCH AND THAT IS AN
EXPERIENCE. I LOVE MEGAN THE STALLION WITH
YOUR 11-YEAR-OLD SON IS -- THAT'S A TRIP, MAN!
>> EITHER THAT TAKES CARE OF SOME CONVERSATIONS THAT YOU NO
LODGER NEED TO HAVE WITH HIM OR IT INTRODUCED A WHOLE BUNCH OF
NEW ONES. >> James: WELL, I'LL BE
HONEST. SHE STARTED A SONG WHICH LIKE
TWO, THREE LINES IN I WAS LIKE, IT PEOPLES LIKE THIS SONG WAS
MOSTLY ABOUT EATING (BLEEP). AND A COUPLE OF LINES IN IT
FEELS LIKE THIS SONG IS ABOUT EATING (BLEEP).
I LOOBLGD AT MAX AND HE'S JUST LIKE, AND I THOUGHT, NAW, I
DOESN'T KNOW. AND SHE WENT, IT'S TIME FOR YOU
TO EAT MY (BLEEP) NOW, I WAS LIKE, WELL, IF HE DIDN'T KNOW,
HE KNOWS NOW! YES.
BUT YES, FUN WAS HAD BY -- IT WAS A GREAT TIME.
>> I HAD A SIMILAR SITUATION AT MY PASSOVER TABLE.
>> James: WELL, WE CAN'T PUT THIS OFF ANY LONGER.
IT'S THIS TIME. IT'S TIME FOR NEWS!
OF COURSE, YESTERDAY WAS EASTER SUNDAY.
WELL, EARLIER TODAY, THE BIDENS CELEBRATED BY HOSTING THE
TRADITIONAL WHITE HOUSE EASTER EGG ROLL ON THE SOUTH LAWN - THE
FIRST OFFICIAL EASTER EGG ROLL IN TWO YEARS.
BUT YOU KNOW JOE BIDEN'S BEEN WHAT COSHEST COULD BE MORE
EXCITING THAN FOR KIDS THAN EGGUCATION.
AND IF YOU THINK AN EGG-UCATION EVENT SOUNDS FUN, THE 'YOKES' ON
YOU. DONE, DONE, NO, SCOTT, I WILL
NOT ALLOW THAT. MEANWHILE, FORMER PRESIDENT
DONALD TRUMP SENT OUT AN EASTER OF HIS OWN OVER THE
WEEKEND. HE WROTE:
HAPPY EASTER TO ALL INCLUDING THE RADICAL LEFT MANIACS WHO ARE
DOING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO DESTROY OUR COUNTRY.
MAY THEY NOT SUCCEED, BUT LET THEM, NEVERTHELESS, BE HAPPY,
HEALTHY, WEALTHY, AND WELL. DEMOCRATS WERE LIKE, "TOO LATE,
WE'RE ALREADY NOT SUCCEEDING." YOU KNOW HOW YOU READ SOME
STATEMENTS BY FAMOUS PEOPLE AND YOU'RE LIKE, THERE'S NO WAY THEY
WROTE THAT? NO WAY THAT THEY WROTE THAT.
WHENEVER A TRUMP STATEMENT COMES OUT YOU'RE LIKE, YEAH,
THERE'S NO WAY ANYONE OTHER THAN TRUMP WOULD WRITE THAT.
HE SAID, MAY THEY NOT SUCCEED, BUT LET THEM NEVERTHELESS BE
WEALTHY. TRUMP WANTS THE RADICAL LEFT TO
BE UNSUCCESSFUL BUT SOMEHOW STILL WEALTHY.
YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE HIM. AND WE WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT
THIS EASTER MISHAP. (APPLAUSE)
>> James: A PARENT, DRESSED AS THE EASTER
BUNNY AT AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL EVENT CAUSED A BIT OF A STIR
AFTER ACCIDENTALLY HANDING OUT EASTER EGGS FILLED WITH-
WE'RE NOT MAKING THIS UP -THEY WERE FILLED WITH CONDOMS.
YEAH! NOW THAT'S AN EGG-UCATION.
CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT, WHAT A DISASTER.
I JUST LIKE TO PICTURE A BUNCH OF DESPERATE PARENTS TRYING TO
COVER BY USING THEM TO MAKE BALLOON ANIMALS.
IT'S A WHALE! BUT THIS BRINGS UP AN IMPORTANT
POINT. YOU SHOULD ALSO BE WARY OF ANY
BUNNY HANDING OUT CARROTS THAT REQUIRE BATTERIES.
THAT WAS A BETTER JOKE THAN YOLKS ONE.
(APPLAUSE) >> BECAUSE IT'S PROBABLY A
VIBRATOR. >> James: I GOT NOTHING.
LISTEN, WHEN WE COME BACK WE GOT A BRAND-NEW CARPOOL KARAOKE WITH
CAMILA CABELLO. BACK EVERYBODY.