(keyboard clicks)
(relaxing music)
- Hey man, put on a (beep) shirt.
- Oh, I didn't bring one.
(phone rings)
You've reached Arby's, we got the meats.
(relaxing music)
- Where's that report?
The deadline was yesterday.
(woman breathes slowly)
- I have learned so much in the past minute.
I know I've made mistakes before,
like when I said the N word.
- You what?
- The point is, I am not that person anymore.
(woman sobs)
- First, let's start with a base layer
of this cleaning solution.
You can use as much of this as you want,
just make sure it's an even layer.
Next, I'll take my favorite sponge
to clean off the solution.
You can get the sponge for yourself on my website.
Use discount code Janitor 10 for 10% off and free shipping.
(toilet flushes)
Oh my God.
(woman sighs disgustedly)
First you'll use this base layer of cleaning solution.
- So I really like your resume.
Last step, would you be willing to take a drug test?
- Y'all don't gotta test me,
I've already done 'em all.
- That's not what I meant.
- Weed, mushroom, Xanax, Special K,
Ordinary J, doozers, zippers, zippies, dog crack,
crack for dogs, humidifier resin,
meth that I got on a train track.
- Okay.
- One time I found a homeless guy who was cookin' his shoe
and I smoked the water.
That's called shoe broth.
Sometimes I go to the Natural History Museum
and I scrape off a little bit of bone residue,
and I snort it.
Other times I'll go to the playground and I'll eat sand,
'cause I'm lookin' for that tape worm rush.
- Thank you so much for coming in.
I've learned a lot.
- Can I sleep here?
- No.
(keyboard clicks)
(man claps) - Excuse me,
can I have everyone's attention.
After some careful consideration, I have decided
that I feel I need to take a step back.
So I'm going to be taking a break for my mental health.
- Yeah Jake, that's lunch.
We all take it.
- Thank you all so much for the support.
And thank you so much
to RAID Shadow Legends for sponsoring today's break.
Goodbye.
(relaxing music)
- Y'all wanna go to Buca di Beppo?
- Buca di Beppo, yes.
- Okay, very good.
So first, we're gonna try and make this into,
mm, I don't know, like a square, square, okay, yeah.
Then we're gonna take the tape.
Where's the tape, where's the tape.
Where's the tape, where's the, thank you.
Okay, so next you take your tape
and you like-
- Why do you narrate everything you do?
- Oh, just 'cause I'm so, like relatable.
- I find it relatable when people work quietly.
- Okay, yeah.
I get ya.
Shout out to Honey for sponsoring this box assembly.
(woman screams)
- Hey, Grace, can we talk about your time-off request?
You asked for the next six months off.
- Yeah, I'm gonna go to Hawaii with my girls.
And then my boyfriend's taking me to Europe
for like six weeks, so he'll probably propose.
And I have to have a bachelorette party in Greece.
And then I'm gonna go to Paris for fashion week.
- That sounds like a lot.
- Good call.
I'm gonna need another month off to decompress.
- Well, pop a bottle for me when you're on your trip.
- You're making me feel really sad right now.
(relaxing music)
- Gross.
(upbeat music)
- Okay.
(upbeat music)
- Okay.
And for those reasons, we're gonna have to let you go.
- I understand.
This may come as a surprise to some of you,
but I'm sure you've heard the rumors,
Myers Harrison Real Estate and I are breaking up.
- Oh, this isn't necessary.
- It was a mutual decision.
But don't worry, we will continue to work together.
- Both of those statements are completely false.
- Please respect our privacy during this time,
unless you wanna spread information
that paints me in a positive light.
- Actually, I'm very open to talking about this.
This isn't a private matter, she wasn't-
- Anyway,
thank you to Express VPN for sponsoring today's break-up.
(woman cries)
- Don't look at her, guys, please.
Don't look at her.
- [Woman] Don't forget to subscribe.
- Sales are down and we have to decide on a direction.
- We need to rebrand.
- No, stay the course
and the customers will come back to us.
- Addison, you became an intern two days ago,
what do you think?
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)
- This is so stupid.
- No, no, no, she's got a point.
- Yeah.
- Well, that solved it.
Did you see that? - Yeah, I saw that.
- I wish you guys could do that.
- I know we gotta work on that.
We're gonna get fired.
- [Woman] Just do it.
- I need the job. - No.
- I'm just kiddin', I work for Bing, I think.
Hey, do you have Arby's.
If I can get a Quarter Pounder.
Is that Arby's?
I don't really know.
I just kinda walk into restaurants
and I just tell 'em to get me food.
And they do 'cause I'm hot.
- One time a cucumber, it was in my salad.
Got me high as (beep).
- A cucumber?
Wow, I've probably been high then.
- [Man] Cut.
(people laugh)
- Y'all wanna go to Subway?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
As long as the bread is cardboard.
- Y'all wanna go to Cheesecake Factory?
- Yeah.
- Get that spicy lemonade.
- [Woman] I love it.
- Y'all wanna go to Saddle Rance.
- Yes, I wanna ride that bull.
- Yeah, brought my flats today.
- I would have loved to have gone to Saddle Ranch.
This is really gonna affect my mental health.
- We need to rebrand.
- No, stay the course
and the customers'll come back to us.
- Addison, you became an intern two years ago.
(people laugh) I'm sorry.
I got very distracted.
- No, stay the course.
They'll come back to us.
(people laugh)
- My mind just got (beep) by that.
- Okay, great.