[intro music]
[applause]
Thank you. So the theme of TED 2012 next year is "Full Spectrum."
Which I've been told, is not just a full spectrum of opinions and ideas but a full spectrum
of presentation styles. So that's something that you might want to play with, it's something
I've been playing with.
[cough]
Rives: Hey there. Hi. Hello.
[audience murmurs]
Hand: Hi.
Rives: Introduce yourself, please.
Hand: Sure. I'm your frickin' hand. What's up with you?
Rives: I was wondering. Do you think there's a verb that means "to behave like a traditional
ventriloquist"? You know, [speaks in a funny ventriloquist voice] "My friend," the old school....
Hand: Uh, I don't know. Like, "to ventriloquate"?
Rives: OK. So honestly, should I "ventriloquate" more instead of this with you?
Hand: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. They say that high-tech is the new talented, so
you should be fine.
Rives: Fantastic. In which case, would you like to do a duet with me for all these people?
Hand: Abso- [beep] -lutely. It would be my pleasure.
Rives: [laughs] I like the "beep" on the fly--very professional, dialed in.
Hand: OK, that's another thing--editing is the new conscientious. So again, you should be fine.
Rives: Yes. Hand: But hey, hotshot, let's do this.
Rives: Yeah. Hand: Why don't you give me a big, nasty beat?
Rives: Like a beatboxing beat? Like "Bow-chicka-bow-wow. Chicka-chicka..."
Hand: No, no, no. Now, clearly that is a pornography beat, OK?
[laughter]
Rives: Oh, well, so it is.
Hand: Which, by the way, you watch a lot of pornography.
Rives: Whoa! Whoa! How would you know how much pornography I watch? That's not even...
Hand: Oh, do you really want to get into this with all these people...
Rives: No! No! No! No!
[laughter]
Rives: Why don't you give me a beat and I'll weave it into a tapestry of sounds...
Hand: OK, genius, I know you can do this, something real simple, all right? Like "Boom-chick-boom-boom-chick."
Rives: That's pretty simple.
Hand: Boom-chick-boom-boom-chick.
Rives: Boom-chick-boom-boom-chick.
Hand: There you go.
Rives: Boom-chick-boom-boom-chick.
[Rives continues the beatbox]
Hand: [raps] Who does the handshaking in a handshake deal? Who does the peeling of an
apple peel? Who does the writing when a poet writes a sonnet? Here's a hint--if you like it,
then you should've put a ring on it.
[laughter]
Rives: Boom-chick-boom-boom-chick.
Hand: Talking about hands.
[applause]
Hand: Boom-chick-boom-boom-chick.
Rives: [raps] Go tell it on the mountain, and run and tell your maw, "I got the whole
world in the palm of my paw." Later I'll have data coming fast and furious, I'm not bionic,
but I'm bionic curious.
Hand: Boom-chick-boom-boom-chick.
Rives: Boom-chick-boom-boom-wicki-wicki.
Hand: Boom-chick-boom-boom-chick.
Rives: Boom-chick-boom-boom-chick. [raps] I talk with my hands.
Hand: [raps] When you're all alone.
Rives: [raps] I talk with my hands.
Hand: [raps] When you're on the frickin' phone.
Rives: [raps] I talk with my hands and I think I got a knack, because I talk with my hands...
Hand: [raps] And your hand talks back, going, "Boom-chick-boom-boom-chick."
[laughter, Hand continues the beatbox]
Rives: This is good. You just keep this up. Keep up the riff. I like it.
Hand: Boom-chick-boom-boom-chick.
Rives: [plays harmonica, a few bars of Poker Face by Lady Gaga] You know what?
You're getting tired of Lady Gaga? I am, too, a little bit. Oh, hey! Do you remember how to play it?
[laughter]
Rives: Let's do this whole thing, and then, you know.
[Hand and Rives play Duelling Banjos on harmonica]
[laughter]
Rives: Hang on, here we go.
[Hand and Rives play Duelling Banjos on harmonica]
Rives: Now, to take us out, I want a little something a little more melodic and kind of...
Hand: [plays classical tune on harmonica]
Rives: Oh, that's nice. So my grandfather--our grandfather had a saying, "Most good trout
recipes really only have two ingredients--and one of them is trout." I feel the same way about stories.
Most good stories really only have two ingredients, and one of them is a story.
Hand: [finishes song]
Rives: Thank you.
Hand: Thank you.
[applause]
Rives: Thanks.