Hey it's Stephan Erdman here how are you doing
very recently I was sent an email from one of my subscribers
who asked a very simple question but I believe a lot of people ask themselves
and it's this
how can I not care what people think of me?
alright and it comes from a state of self-consciousness
and a state of holding back from doing what you want to do because you're worried about
what people will
think of you now is this really the right question to ask
or is the problem actually something
else let me quickly explain what I mean by that
I believe the problem is something else because
the problem is is that why you worried about
what people think you is because you think they're thinking back
courts you're assuming having negative thoughts about you
becoming it if you thought they had great
positive thoughts about you be excited right you have a great time
you wouldn't worry about what they think that you
right so let's get very precise with this you worried about it
because you think that negative thoughts and it's a very much
easy it is so is a mystery isn't it clearly the key is
that you need to think that other people have positive thoughts
about you you need to know what the that
other people's thoughts about you up positive then you won't be worried about
you know what they think that you right and
how'd you do that how can you make sure that
you think other people have posted talked about you
well something i dont my own journey
from going from the first to the second is that
when II have a good opinion of myself
and a strong opinion of myself I think positive thoughts about
my cell in-stock to assume
but other people's courts about myself are just
as positive it's just something we do with humans
when I start now cause the thoughts about myself most
most the time when I've good self-esteem when I think
good things about myself I start to assume that everybody else does too
alright that's just how it works and I'm telling you this but my personal
experience
all having been on the side ok having
very negative thoughts about myself most of the time
and to sue me everybody else without you get me to
feeding very good about myself now and
also with facts had starting to just believe that
everybody else in general will have positive thoughts about me as well
so what's the solution to basically
the original question not caring what people think of you
and which we've no kind of taken apart a little bit
it is it to actually develop a really strong cause that really relationship
with your cell
a good opinion of yourself and backs
will basically make the project other people will also have a positive opinion
of you
what also helps with this which is even more fascinating as
when you develop more positive opinions about other people
and yourself but also other people it also affect your own opinion of yourself
in a positive way so this is a this used to be a vicious cycle what you thinking
oh what I think picking up me
and you worried about because you have secretly low opinion of yourself
and now when you develop a better opinion of yourself also you start to
assume everybody else does and you can also
basically go both sides at the process by starting to
focus on other people in a more positive light and that makes you feel better
about yourself
and everybody wins are you following him now how can you develop better opinion
of yourself
do things that you respect
you can't live according to your values
and have a strong set of values that means things that are important to you
is at your own guy to be
abou code of behavior and when you follow that
you are going to develop slightly stronger self-esteem
higher self-esteem and more confidence and more
more of a sense of authenticity and congress
you can work on your confidence
you can do my program for example the six-week up you can't this challenge
yeah you could do that and you which shook up the process
that would make you confident and make you feel in tissue in
with your own values so there are many things you can do
to enhance your own opinion of yourself ants
call it what you want fix you in a game and
develop real self confidence you know
you good about yourself because that
essentially is the key to not
caring about what other people think which we have now found out actually
of course we care what other people think otherwise be just as well be able
you know we could just die right because why would you live on a
not care what other people think the key is to think
and expected to think positive things about you
and I can tell you from my own experience
once you do develop mindset about yourself
you to issue other people like he was well
because you like your cell alright and then
sometimes they don't but it's more like it surprising
no why don't they or and then you realize it's usually something to do
with their
background with a prepared eating with and it's no big deal
alright so I've already talked briefly about my 6 week W conference challenge
is a great program
guys that were developed the conference extra in a game it sets a
W confidence challenge the call you could also join my
newsletter or frantic game dot com
this also links to programs in SoCal so
that's my solution to caring too much about what people think of you
it really is and be
becoming positive about your cell and with back
you learn to issue other people are positive about you as well
and it doesn't hold you back anymore